Saturday, April 1, 2023
HomeRelationship Advice38m Found out a 36m friend is no friend at all… and...

38m Found out a 36m friend is no friend at all… and kind of a douche

So I’ve suspected he wasn’t the nice guy he pretends to be for a while. He called me at like 8am asking about a 30f he asked out over instagram. Told me her name. I told him, “that’s the woman told you about last year that I was seeing who broke my heart”(I was seeing her on and off for a year, while she was going through a divorce. Was complicated so we stopped talking completely a couple months ago)

He was taken back, said well I won’t see her if you tell me not to. I told him I’d be uncomfortable with it, as I still have feelings for her. He said no problems told me she just randomly hit him up on insta the night before and she was very attractive. But my feelings were more important. I told him thank you.

A couple hours later he called me and told me he talked to her and told her he knew me and she was put off by it but she said great things about me and she needed to talk to me. As soon as we got off the phone she messaged me and asked about him, I immediately told her don’t do it. She told me it didn’t sit right with her . I told her thank you for caring about my feelings. We’ve been texting ever since(friendly stuff) she called me and it was great to talk because she was more than a love interest, she was a confidant and we talked about everything.

Well apparently my “friend” is butt hurt she cancelled on him and he told her that I was fine with it. Told her I shouldn’t matter because they’re two grown adults and can do what they want. She also showed me screen shots of him being the one to slide in her DMs and actually seemed like an arrogant douche. He also sent me a “joking but not really” text saying “let your boy get some poontang”🤢

This and a couple of other revelations within the past year(like he cheated on his soon-to-be ex wife a few times) I honestly don’t know if I can continue being friends with him. I’m glad he reunited my friendship with her though

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  1. He’s a bad person who just showed you who he is. He showed you this when he cheated on his partner too and you allowed it. That’s when you should have realized this.

    There is no reason to ever talk to him again.

  2. I would be real, tell him you saw all his messages to her. You can see he was only looking out for himself and you don’t need friends like that. It’s best to part ways. Then be done with it. God this happened instead of then dating.

  3. Yeah drop his ass. If he’s willing to ignore your request like that and pass it off as just getting “poontang” then he’s not a good friend. Sex is sex but if he targeted someone who you still have feelings for, then he doesn’t care about your feelings.

    Move on and find better friends. Good luck buddy.

  4. At your age acting like he does is just ridiculous, even 10 years younger would be pushing it. This guy seems very immature and if I were you I’d slowly just stop communicating with him until he’s no longer in your life.

  5. Friends don’t say one thing and go off and do the opposite of what you asked. You made it clear to this guy that you would prefer he don’t since you’re friends. He initially said ok but turns around and just wants to get his dick wet really. That’s not a true friend, a true friend wouldn’t even continue to talk after you said you’d prefer he don’t.

    Just stop talking to him, it’s easy. On this day and age of ghosting, just don’t respond to his communications anymore. If he reaches out and asks why, then put him on blast. Tell him he lied about not pursuing your ex and then show him the screenshots she sent you. Then end it by saying that he’d be amazed at how much more honest women can be when it comes to who says what and that because he has more concern for getting his dick wet over keeping a good friend, just don’t bother anymore

  6. Honestly, i commend the consideration shown to friends here, but the whole game of bro code and calling dibs on people you dated is just a bit jeuvenile. That’s my perspective at 34.

    Who are you to step between two people who might be happy together just because one broke your heart? I’ve been heart broken at least 5 times and it SUCKS…but it’s just on you to take on the chin and just take space while you work it out. You don’t have to jump into playing besties with them, but leave it at that.

  7. Unfortunately this is super common. Some men act totally different around women they wanna bang than they do around their friends.

    He’s probably not going to change. Calling him out would be futile.

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