Friday, March 24, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceBoyfriend (25M) is parading me (22F) around like a trophy

Boyfriend (25M) is parading me (22F) around like a trophy

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I love him and I want to think he loves me back but it’s becoming more obvious to me that he only enjoys showing me off to others.

I don’t want to toot my own horn but other ppl have said to us that I am out of his league. I think these sort of comments are disrespectful because I think my boyfriend is very attractive and I love him.
However, I noticed more and more the way he tells me to do my make up or wear more revealing clothing whenever we go out and there’s friends or other ppl around. Whenever he talks to his friends about me (I have seen text conversations) he only tells them about my body.
He keeps telling me I need to go to the gym more to get my ass bigger while also saying claiming my body is better than any of his friends’ girlfriends.

It makes me uncomfortable and it’s just not flattering. Don’t really know what advice I’m looking for, just wanted to vent about this issues

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  1. What would happen, heaven forbid, if you became ill with some chronic, irreversible condition that made it impossible for you to go to the gym and maintain the “trophy” appearance? Would he stay by your side, support you emotionally, and put your needs above his, and for the long haul?

  2. People are right, you are out of his league. He sounds immature and shallow and is emotionally no where near your league. You deserve a lot better than that. You deserve someone who only cares about your appearance if they think you look unhealthy or sick. Not as some item.

  3. What do you think he’d do if you went out in a totally blah outfit. Think sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt. With regular shoes? No makeup. Just a basic look.

    My ex husband used to harp on my about my look. I had a very physically demanding job as a chef on a line that did 500 covers and hour. On my days off I wanted to just look basic. Jeans and a tee. And he’d bug me to wear makeup.

    One time we were just going shopping and he was bitching at me about my makeup. So I drew a cat nose and whiskers on my face in the parking lot. Dude never talked to me about my makeup again.

    He was soo insecure.

    My current spouse would make suggestions on his it cool look better and what could I wear to make it a whole lewk.

    I don’t think he loves you in a healthy way.

  4. Ewwww sorry OP but your bf only sees you as an object. Men like this can very rarely understand where they’re going wrong. Dump his arse. You are out of his league, but for other reasons than physical.

  5. Stop wearing your makeup and dress in baggy clothes for a few days. See how he reacts. If he asks just tell him you weren’t feeling your usual routine and just want to be comfy. His reaction should tell you all you need to know.

  6. You need to talk to him about how these things make you feel AND ask him to stop doing them. If he doesn’t stop doing them then he does respect you or care about your feelings. If he doesn’t respect you or care about your feelings, you should break up with him.

  7. I was in a relationship like that for 7yrs and it was horrible. After a couple yrs together he started playing this game of, well I got this very attractive lady to be with me, how many other attractive women can I get? He ended up cheating on me more times then I care to mention. You’re way more than just your looks and don’t let anybody play you!

  8. Yuck, he’s not a good partner, it’s one thing to be proud of your gf and even like others finding her hot, it’s another thing to objectify you the way he does. Have you told him how you feel about it?

  9. Ppl are right, however, the bigger problem is this guys absolute narcissism… “you need to make your butt bigger” and asking you to wear revealing clothing?. He is trying to polish you. What he’s doing is no different than putting a “yo, sick spoiler” on his car… he sounds just like guys sound these days!

  10. Tell him you will wear what you want to and he has no business telling you what to do with your body. It certainly is very disrespectful and immature to think like that.

    If you’ve been dating for two years has it been like this the entire relationship? If yes probably best to end it. Communication may be helpful considering it is a two year relationship.

  11. Your boyfriend let the comments get to his head way too much and now only views u as a trophy. So now he is wanting to make sure everyone sees his “shining trophy” that itself is incredibly disrespectful of not only the relationship but also ur value.

    U can tell him to knock it off that u are a human being, worth more than just tits & ass or u can tell him to go find a new trophy.

  12. You sound confident and mature. Your bf sounds shallow and insecure. It’s not for him to objectify you as an object to be admired. There is so much more to you as a person and you deserve someone who understand that.

  13. Yeah, I was in a relationship like that.

    After I started having health issues and gained a bit weight/wasn’t as fit as I used to be, the look-focused bf lost physical interest in me and even started rejecting me.

    That led me thinking that I was repulsive and ugly. Weirdly enough, no other guy has showed that type of repulsion towards me after I started dating again

  14. Have you tried to talk to him about this? Simply based on the information you have given us, I’d say he only has interest in your body and parading you around. I think there’s nothing wrong with a bit of parading here and there, accompanied with appropriate events like a fancy restaurant or such. It can be a real confidence booster for both parties!

    Does he show any interest in your hobbies, going-ons, opinion or general character? Or is he going all-in for “the booty”?

    Put your foot down, see how he reacts if you only wear comfy baggy clothes when going out with his/your friends. Again, we only know what you said us. But he has to cut that sh- or you cut him off.

  15. Eww he sounds like a real immature ass. Honestly you are out of his league cause a man like that doesn’t even deserve a relationship. He needs some serious changes in his behavior

  16. Look at „enjoying you as a person to be with“ and „enjoying the attention he gets because of how you look“ as two separate things. He might have let people get in his head and right now values the attention far more, to an unhealthy degree.
    But that doesn‘t necessarily mean his enjoyment of you has worsened, or moved at all. Two spearate scales.

    Then go and confront him about this. You should quickly be able to tell which scale is more important to him, but it will take some work changing it in his own mind should he want to.

  17. My wife is real hot also and I think out of my league, that being said the thought of speaking about her ass to my bros is gross!!! Sounds like your his doll or his possession, dude has no respect.

  18. So your boyfriend is a misogynist who only sees you as an object and so far you found that flattering and an ego boost. But now after two years of being treated as less than him and not valued for anything but your appearance is really starting to get to you, so you came here to vent. I think you might be on to something here, and if you spend a bit more time thinking about it you will have your answer.

  19. Yikes. That’s not ok. It seems like he only values you for your looks and not who you are. Do you really want to be with a man like that? I think in your heart you know what you need to do.

  20. Next time you go out with his friends wear frumpy clothing, no makeup or better yet do your makeup but do it badly, make your hair look like a crazy witch’s hair, and see how he treats you

  21. You’re at a crossroads here.
    It’s one thing to compliment you and feel proud when you’re by his side-but it’s a whole other thing if he’s trying to oversee your hair and makeup. Ever!! That’s a hell no.
    Again, at crossroads. Choose yourself. And always choose yourself. Tell your BF to buy a blow up doll and get out of there. Don’t be his blow up doll.

  22. “wear more revealing clothing” is a red flag. While it is important to bring your best self to the table to benefit the relationship and show respect to him, he goes past that to treat you as a possession. In a more robust relationship he should value you as a person first and consider you first before others.

    Maybe he’s not that bad. Maybe all the attention is getting to his head.

    You should communicate very plainly your thoughts and feelings. Demand respect. If he’s not able to put your relationship first and thereby respect and cherish what you bring to it, then you’ll have a good idea on where to go from there.

  23. It’s also working well as a distraction technique as he’s keeping you busy enough so you don’t look too closely at his values, intellect, supportiveness and all the myriad other facets you need for a satisfying LTR. Time to start focusing on that I think.

  24. I would let him know EXACTLY how this feels and why you don’t like it.

    He should know, but …Maybe he’s insecure and it makes him feel good in front of his friends – not okay. If he’s a good guy he will stop. If all he cares about are boobs and ass, there are a lot of guys out there that will respect you more,

  25. Sounds like an immature dude, from the little you’ve said about him. You can always tell people how you’re feeling about whatever subjects you want, including this.

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