Saturday, April 1, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceBoyfriend Didn't Invite Me On Trip

Boyfriend Didn’t Invite Me On Trip

Me (31) and my boyfriend (41) have been dating for 5 months and during that entire time he has mentioned how him and his friend take a trip every year to an amusement park and he always would follow it with “Would you come with me if we went?”, and I always said yes. Well he tells me last week that his friend invited him to the amusement park the following weekend. I immediately mention that I can bring a cooler with drinks and snacks for every one and he doesn’t say any thing so I drop it. He keeps mentioning the trip but never actually invites me and asks me at one point if he should go, but I feel that was to not make me feel bad about not getting an invite. He’s coming home from his trip today and now i’m extremely bothered and honestly don’t care if we break up because I wanted a bf that wanted to do fun stuff with me and not get excluded. Side note, I’ve met and played games online with every single person he went to the amusement park with so i’m really confused as to why I didn’t get an invite and i’m hurt because I was looking forward to it all summer after he had talked about it so much. So I really just want to know, should I confront him like I want and ask why I was excluded or should I just accept the fact they didn’t want me there?

Edit to add: His friend brought his wife and their live in gf.

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  1. He probably shouldn’t have jumped to inviting you on a trip that consists of a small group of longtime friends. The relationship is very young, and while you say that you’ve met the friends, I doubt they consider you a friend yet. If the relationship lasts, maybe you’ll be invited next year. If you really want to go to the amusement park, plan your own trip.

  2. You could always ask if it was a case of him promising to much to soon.

    It might’ve been he mentioned bringing you and one or two of the other guys going *”No partners! It’s a boys tradition”* or something like that.

    I wouldn’t force him to choose between you and the boys. You both need friendships that aren’t necessarily always shared besides your relationship.

    But def. Communicate how it has made you feel strung along and excluded. Your emotional response to this is valid and he did fu*k up.

  3. But why did you wait till he got home to talk about how it upset you? Why didn’t you simply ask him if you were still invited? By not communicating with him before hand I don’t really think it’s fair to tell him after when NOTHING can be changed.

    Relationships require communication. By not doing that and then saying after that you are unhappy, you put him in a really crappy situation. And yeah he should also have communicated with you that I know I invited you before but….

    If you are going to work longer term you both need to start being more open and honest with each other. And if possible in a calm and respectful way. Not by screaming at him after he’s done something you don’t like but really can’t expect him to know either.

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  5. His mistake was extending an invite to you that he didn’t have. Adults in relationships can and should have independent social excursions and their own friends.

  6. “Edit to add: His friend brought his wife and their live in gf.” Live in gf is girl friend??? They do a threesome? Is the gf for YOUR boyfriend? Something is wrong here…

  7. At first I felt this was likely a mix up with it being guys only weekend. Then I saw your replies of others ringing wives and such. Then the icing on the cake was looking at your post history, this guy has a habit of telling you what he knows you want to hear and then fully admits he never meant it.

    His actions tell you his priorities. He repeatedly chooses others over you, enough to have multiple posts about it. He lies to you. How long do you want to be his side fling?

  8. It doesn’t say much for his communication skills if he kind of invites you then never responds to the subject, passive -aggessively uninviting you.

    You might as well sit him down and ask him what-the-hell? He should treat you better than this. You don’t get amnesia just because he won’t address it.

  9. I had a boyfriend that went with his friends to the beach and didn’t invite me either. Except we were both 20(I’m 23 now). Your boyfriend did this and he is 41….just leave him girl.

  10. Did his friends bring their partners? If yes, then he intentionally excluded you.. if not-then it clearly wasn’t something the group wanted significant others at-in which case, that’s fine, their allowed to do outings without partners

  11. You could have talked to him about it before the trip, asking if you were invited and why he didn’t invite you when previously he asked you about it. I would talk to him about it, it could be that his friends just wanted it to be a friends trip rather than him not wanting you there but be should have discussed this especially as you said about bringing a cooler

  12. I read through your other posts asking for relationship advice… honestly, it seems like he’s just not that serious about you. You haven’t been in this relationship long and you have this many issues… maybe it’s time to move on and find someone who will respect you and wants to spend time with you. I know you like him, but no amount of you trying to make this relationship happen can change his feelings or change how he treats you.

  13. Any time I get confused in a relationship I pay attention because it can be a red flag. That he invited you and then essentially uninvited you with no explanation is a red flag.

    Whether you confront him or not is up to you. I personally want a relationship where communication is direct — I don’t deal well with indirect, confusing messages — so I would probably ask. So if you ask him and it’s a problem that you even asked that says a lot right there.

    If he starts saying things that blame you like “I didn’t think you’d like it there” take note of that and think about whether you want to be with someone who keeps changing their story i.e. first inviting you, then not and blaming you for it.

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