Saturday, April 1, 2023
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Can i ever recover from this

my wife has been more secretive for the past 2 months. She has also been treating me coldly and gets angry over the smallest of things. Also has been finding an excuse to use her phone elsewhere. I know she has been messaging someone almost daily and i suspected it to be this one guy.
i asked her about it but she just said its a good friend and nothings going on.
a week ago she made an excuse to go out after work, saying its with her bunch of work friends. I told her i wasnt happy about it but she insisted. Also found her bringing random gifts (food/treats) to work and going out all the way to deliver it.
This week i finally confronted her about all these things, and she has admitted that she didnt go out with friends, but actually when out with this one guy which was her ‘good friend’ she has been on the phone with the past 2 months.
she says nothing happened, she knew better than to do anything.
She says shes sorry and will stop everything. She admitted that she has liked this guy in the past although never ever been involved with him other than brief talks. He recently moved to our area for work about 6 months ago.

this guy is a married man with a 6 month old child.

She lied to me all this while.
She admitted she felt guilty all these 2 months for hiding it from me. She keeps insisting nothing happened.

i feel utterly betrayed.
What do i do?

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  1. Even if nothing physical happened, she had an emotional afair with this guy. It’s totally fair and reasonable for you to feel betrayed by that. If you want to save this relationship, I think couples counselling would be a good idea. If you’re too hurt to the point that you don’t want to save the relationship, leaving it behind is also valid.

  2. Textbook cheater behaviour unfortunately bud. It’s really not fair of her to do this to you and expect you to be chill with it.

    What’s odd is she claims its all good and nothing happened but then admits she felt guilty doing it. So she’s acknowledged her behaviour is not on, regardless of the specifics.

    Do you believe her when she says she’ll stop? Has she stopped because she wants to stop or because you’ve rumbled her? Stay vigilant.

  3. Yes she’s cheating and you caught her be prepared for trickle down truths you also might want to get tested for STDs you’ve outlined all the cheaters habits and gaslighting they do and which she’s doing to you now, see a lawyer find out your rights and be prepared for more lies and remember she’s the one who’s doing this there also needs to be consequences or she’ll continue with the affair ask her for her phone and look deep if she deleted everything she’s definitely been cheating probably physically in which it sounds like best wishes!!

  4. Do you want to stay in this relationship? If you feel she is worth the effort go to couples therapy. If she is not your soul mate and you really can’t trust her again file for divorce. You choose your future.

  5. What do you do ?

    1. Inform his wife and make your wife do it.
    2. Ask your wife to go No Contact with him.
    3. Tell her u want unhindered access to her phone n social media without messages being deleted.
    4. Lawyer up even if u don’t want divorce, just to weigh up your options and to scare her.
    5. Inform both set of parents
    6. Get std test done for yourself and ask her to get tested as well.

    Is she refuses 1, 2, 3 and 6…. you have answer to every question u got !

  6. She chased him and he wasn’t invested in her. Realize if he had wanted her, she would be cheating on you now. She’s a cheater and a liar. Lots of opportunity for her to come clean and she didn’t.

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