My 24f boyfriend 32m have been dating for about 8 months now. We have a very happy and healthy relationship. We communicate and have so much fun together. Every once in a while there is a day or 2 days where he doesn’t text me. I’ll text him and then he won’t respond for 12 hours and when he does it’s like an emoji. For context we don’t talk 24/7 but we talk every day throughout the day. Basically it’s just different behavior/vibe I get from him. This has probably happened 3 times since we have started dating. It’s almost like maybe he’s in a funk and needs a few days by himself? Does anyone have any advice or gone through something similar? Is there something I could do?
I don’t pry or ask questions. I just leave him alone. I have done so before and it didn’t do anything.
Don’t assume, just mention you notice and ask him what’s going on during those periods. That’s you wanting in his life that way vs you wanting your response.
ask him, a relationship where you don’t feel comfortable asking questions that are important to you, doesn’t sound that healthy and strong in communication as you might want it to be.
Could be he needs space, could be at a friends place, could be meeting up with someone wearing lace, could be going to work with a briefcase really could be anyplace which would really be commonplace….
We all have our things going on but if it bugs you communication is always key. If you communicate well like you say, then have a simple conversation about it and you’ll know. Something along the lines of:
If you think he’s in a funk:
“I feel that there has been a few times where you’re level of communication that we’re used to completely drops of the map; Where you won’t respond to a text for a day or two and sometimes just with a emoji. I understand needing space and feeling like needing a break from the world. I want you to know that it’s okay to talk to me about stuff like that. I just want to make sure that everything is okay. I don’t want to pry about anything you’re not ready to talk about and will be here when you are. Until you are ready, I would like it if you gave me a heads up so I don’t worry about you as much”
If you have good communication and don’t know what’s going on:
“Hey I’ve notice that every so often the level of communication that were used to totally changes to no response for a day or two. Just wondering what’s happening during those times?”
Edit: After readying your post again…I prefer the second method. Less assumptions the better.
I have adhd and I hate texting constantly and sometimes just need a break from it, maybe that’s what’s going on with him? The emoji might be his way of just trying to make sure you know he’s “there” even if he isn’t as responsive as you like? You need to talk to him about it tho because while my explanation is innocent enough, it still isn’t fair to you if you don’t know WHY something is happening when your expectations are different. There are also other possibilities it could be, so you need to communicate about it, but if everything else is good, then it could just be a bit of text fatigue.
Are the gaps really a problem? Is a quiet day harmful?
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