Saturday, April 1, 2023
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Ex didn’t tell me he cancelled our child’s health insurance. 2,000$ worth of medical bills ensue.

On a phone sorry for format errors.

My (32f) ex (42m) was allegedly paying for insurance for our child. This was something he was supposed to have ever since our child (12f) was around 4 or 5 years old per court agreement. I have also carried supplemental insurance for her as well. Physically, emotionally, and financially, his support has been sparse. Husband (32f) has stepped in as much as he can as a stepdad. There are issues there with that as well.

Recently, my daughter who has a chronic illness needed to go to the doctor and I asked him for the insurance card. I got new insurance due to new employment and realized that there may be higher than normal copays. He gave me the insurance with his wife’s name on on top as an insurer. I didn’t like it because I felt like it was going to be an issue later down the road getting information. He assured me he pays for the policy and under a technicality, it’s under her name because he has insurance via the VA (he’s prior service military)

I verify with him July or August of this year if the insurance is active and he states yes. I asked repeatedly was the insurance up to date because if not, I will have to work out payment plans and the like. He told me everything was fine. Fast forward, and my daughter has gone to several appointments via me and her stepdad and we start getting bills. Small ones to a couple big ones.

I try to get information about what’s going on through various billing departments and it says that the insurance was cancelled back in December 2021. I confront him. I ask him what’s going on? He says “sorry, I gave you the wrong card” I ask him to send it again and he never does. A week or so later I contact him. He avoids me until another week passes. Then he says he’s calling the insurance broker and he’ll call back. Never does. Conveniently, he hasn’t been able to get in touch. I send him the bills he says he’s going to pay them.

This goes on for like 3 months of him promising to call or fix them.

I message him before the holiday and tell him that I’m disappointed that he was not honest with me regarding the insurance. He had me take off several days to talk to my child’s respective doctors to correct billing issues etc. he then messages me and tells me he’s in the process of reinstating the insurance….

and apparently, he and his wife (34f) are getting a divorce. They got separated the beginning of this year. I get that was none of my business and it’s not the issue here.

My thing was that he could have told me the insurance was cancelled but he had me doing all this running around when he knew that insurance was cancelled. I’m just annoyed at this point. I felt like he wasted my time when I could have been trying to work out a payment plan or something.

*Edit* I know it seems like I threw in the divorce thing but he literally said that in response to me calling him out for not having the insurance as his excuse. Again, I think he could have just told me he didn’t or couldn’t pay it without elaborating and I would have accepted that.

We also live in different states

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  1. 1. He violated a court order

    2. He lied

    3. He is refusing to pay for bills he caused that benefit his child

    Time to go back to court and get the judge to step in and make him responsible again, for both past bills and going forward with continued insurance.

    Edited for ducking autocucumber


    So, I work in medical industry.

    Inform your offices of the situation – those are not your bills to pay, they are the father’s.

    IF they need to send you the bills anyways, file for hardship and explain the situation. They can help you save THOUSANDS and find good programs to support you and the kid. Good luck, but you should do this the legal route and screw that lazy dad.

  3. Just as a heads up, the VA doesn’t have “insurance”. They give treatment to veterans, free of cost if the disability is service connected or free treatment for anything if they are rated at 50% or greater in disability.

    If the veteran is retired (not regular discharged), they can get Tricare, which is reduced rate of insurance. It’s actually pretty great.

  4. Looks like his wife carried the insurance on your daughter. It’s possible she didn’t tell him that she canceled the insurance out of spite. Sucks big time either way (he lied or ex wife is a monster for this). Get payment plans or whatever you need to do and tell him to make the payments or you’re going to small claims court.

  5. If it’s in your custody agreement, that he carry insurance on your kid then it should also state in the agreement that any bills incurred due to none coverage, falls on him to pay.

    That’s how the agreements I’ve seen, are listed.

  6. Sorry, I might be slow here. But what type of insurance are he not paying?

    Not sure where you live but does it have to do with the medical situation?
    What is the high-cost protection where you live? Do you have to regulate that through a insurance somehow?
    Where I live its €120 yearly for every adults(I think whole EU is simular. Not sure how NHS works after brexit) i guess he have to cover that for you?

    Sorry, hard to give advice when I dont know how your local universal healthcare works.

    Hope everything works out for you!

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