Friday, March 24, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceFiancé laughed at me when I was crying?

Fiancé laughed at me when I was crying?

My fiancé laughed at me because I was crying because of my PTSD when he was yelling at me. He kept laughing at me and I started to feel ashamed for crying.
I feel humiliated and hurt and I just want insight into what this means.

My fiancé and I were arguing about something just now and he raised his voice at me and I started crying. I have major PTSD and frequent anxiety attacks from being abused at a young age, so this is NOTHING NEW to him and he knows.
I started crying and he was even more upset at me crying then, so much that he raised his voice and got mad.
He then started laughing once I started crying harder and I was crying and asking him why he was laughing at me crying and he just kept laughing and laughing and saying he’s just “laughing because he’s laughing”.
Since then we’ve said nothing to each other and he didn’t even apologize for anything.
I feel so crushed because he was just laughing at me while i cried.
I don’t know what any of this means but I’m just absolutely humiliated right now.

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  1. A good person, especially one who cares about you, would not ~~cry~~ laugh at your misery. Don’t be humiliated, do reevaluate just what good could equal putting up with someone who treats you like this. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life being treated like this?

    Edit: u/WeeklyConversation8 is correct, I meant laugh not cry.

  2. OMG. I’ll tell you what this means. This behaviour is way over into sick fuck territory. He’s getting off on your distress and humiliation.

    Is this the action of someone who supposedly loves you?

    Once you are able, make every effort to get away from this $%^&*() safely. This is no longer a safe environment for you. I’m so sorry.

  3. He is the only one who should be embarrassed. Anyone yelling at their partner should be embarrassed. Anyone laughing because they hurt their partner should be embarrassed. Anyone laughing at someone crying because of their PTSD should be embarrassed. The fact he isn’t is concerning and makes him a cruel person.

  4. You feel humiliated because he shamed you. He mocked you for something you can’t help. He did it to hurt you.

    In that moment he felt no kindness or compassion or empathy for you whatsoever. Your trust in him was broken.

    Thats whats going on.

  5. This means that you should find someone else that doesn’t taunt you and laugh at you when you’re triggered. This man isn’t going to protect and care tor you when he is your husband he is going to use your ptsd against you to harm you. You only have two options sadly, to leave or stay with him and allow him to taunt and disrespect you more and more each time.

  6. Please dump him, call of the wedding or whatever. He is disgusting and emotionally abusive, f him, you don’t need someone like him in your life there are many people out there that will love to get to know you and show you the respect, love and emphaty you deserve. So sorry for all this

  7. This is straight up abuse. Sounds like he is purposely triggering your PTSD and laughing at you to gaslight you. It’s also a power play- “I can hurt you and not even feel bad about it; in fact, it AMUSES me.” This can and will get worse. Get out while you can still do so, without legal ties to him.

  8. Someone who can revel in your vulnerable moment is not well themselves or at least in that moment in time.

    Yes he may have felt hot headed from the argument, but to see the one you love cry because of an unrelated mental trigger, would sadden most hearts. The healthy response would be…to acknowledge you’re now having an episode and to remove themselves from the moment to prevent escalation or let you take a moment to allow your episode to pass.

    His response was not healthy, he sounds like he has his own deamons.

    Let your moment of weakness become your strength. Tell him that it was a calous act and you will not be enduring that behaviour again. If he does it again after a warning, then you should feel safe to pull the plug.

  9. Just like you have a cry reaction to uncomfortable feelings some people laugh when they are uneasy, no idea if this is the case for your man but it is a possibility. You could have a nice calm discussion about the events and come to an understanding on things you can do to help each other in these situations, or you could follow the standard reddit advice of “leave him he’s a monster who will eventually kill you.”

  10. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this, it sounds like a really tough place to be. Could you have a conversation with him about your triggers, why his response upset you and how to manage moving forward? It sounds like he became angry after being asked why he was laughing, so removing the “you did x and I was y” could be beneficial and saying something like “when I became upset, the initial response was x and as a result, I felt y. I’d really like us to talk about this to try and understand where we’re both coming from, and how to avoid a similar situation in the future”. If that fails, then… I echo the previous comments. PTSD is serious, maybe he doesn’t know how to be supportive or has his own issues, irrespective.. this isn’t something to be laughed at and a relationship should be a supportive, safe ground. ♥️

  11. Fiancé? You mean your ex?

    This is not even with a conversation.. actually maybe it is, but with your therapist not with him. He can get tae fuck with his cackling

  12. You should end the engagement. It sounds like he had the ”if your crying to annoy me Im gonna laugh to annoy you” I think he faked laugh cause he got annoyed at your crying, like he thought you were gonna get annoyed at him laughing. But this Guy sounds horrible you maybe should take a serious talk or break up.

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