tonight my dear friend has passed away in a car accident. found out and i can’t feel a thing but despair and loneliness. i talked to my girlfriend about it a few minutes ago and she told me it’s normal and to not even complain. my friend means so much to me i don’t know why she would say that. i understand she’s not a very affectionate person. we’ve grown to be more affectionate towards each other . a few kind words would’ve been just fine. telling me lies that everything will be okay would’ve been better than her just shrugging my feelings off. i feel like she genuinely doesn’t care anymore. that she stopped loving me. i’m here crying over a friend and i can’t even cry to my own girlfriend about it. to my partner someone who i’ve been there for. least she could do is show some respect.
gf tells me to not complain over the death of my friend
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What kind cold hearted person is she? I would’ve been devasted if something happened to my best friend. There’s a difference between not showing affection and being a sociopath. Normal people comfort others in times of distress. Its a pretty huge redflag. Think about your relationship well.
I’m sorry about your friend, is there anyone else you can talk to?
Your GF doesn’t sound like a very nice person going by this and your post history, don’t put up with how she treats you.
Sounds like you need to ditch her. You need someone who will be there for you through it all.
I lost a friend years ago. I’d known her since I was very young and we grew up together. We had lost touch, reconnected, and were planning to go to a movie together. I had all these plans in my head about what I was going to say to her when we talked. I was looking forward to so many new conversations and getting to know who she had become.
Well, I found out she died before we could get together again. I was devastated. She was a pivotal person in my life and it was so sudden. I grieved and cried sometimes afterward, sniffling for a few minutes here and there as time and space permitted. Then, after about 3 weeks my significant other at the time asked me sharply when I was going to get over it. I was so shocked. I never cried over her again. The grieving stopped. Grieving is really hard for me now. My mother has since died and I barely cry about her.
Get out of there before she damages you. I’m so sorry about your friend. I wish you the best of luck.
This is going to sound harsh but what did you expect? You’ve been too spineless to break up with that piece of shit. I’m shocked youre still with her after the shit she pulled 6 months ago.
Break up.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
– Maya Angelou
girl is a psychopath. not a shred of empathy
Time to Ditch her
What the hell she sounds evil as fuck why would you allow this?
I’m so sorry for your loss. I agree with the comments saying you should seek out other friends who lost this person, to help you through your grief. I also went and read the other posts about this girl, and you clearly are unhappy in this situation, and you should move on (for real this time)… your partner should be supportive, empathetic, and understanding. This girl is toying with you, gaslighting you, and making you miserable. Simply put, she is abusing you. She is emotionally abusive, and gaslighting is one of the most common signs of narcissistic behavior. While everything still hurts, rip that bandaid off and run to be with your friends and family as you process your grief. Also, block her and go NC. She will drag you back in if you let her. She already told you from the start that she does this, she loves toying with mens emotions. Get out now.
And again, I am so so sorry. That is a tragic and unexpected way to lose your friend, and I hope you have a good support network, outside of this one girl who honestly seems psychotic
yeah fuck her. dump her. you need a partner who supports you in time of need.
My best friend died when she and I were 17 my ex bfs words have always haunted me “don’t use ur friends death as an excuse to talk to me all the time..” she has been dead 2 days when he said that broke up with him that week absolutely not ok
She’s emotionally unavailable and stunted. Take this response seriously.
Break up with her.
She has set the bar incredibly high for what she’s allowed to complain about.
Holy smokes, this chick needs to GO. You deserve so, so much better. I’m so sorry for your loss, OP. Sending love.
That is really a cold thing to say. I sure hope she isn’t this way normally. I’d be rethinking my relationship if she cannot be supportive.
My condolences on the loss of your friend. (Hugs)
That is not the behaviour of a person you want to be with. Fuck whatever circumstances you’re in with her, look to get out immediately man
*ex-girlfriend.
Man looking at your posts im just gonna say it’s on you sorry not sorry but peaple for 9 months was telling you to leave and you chose to stay with an a AH I hope this is the wake up call that you need because d*** she is a B
Oh wow, OP I am so sorry for your loss.
Your girlfriend sounds awful. I would break up with her and go and mourn your friend with his other loved ones.
Well, she is the way that she is. You can’t change that.
What you can change however, is your relationship status. Moving forward in life – people around you are going to die. It sucks. It will suck even more when your partner doesn’t help you get trough it. Take this into consideration.
She ain’t the one homie. Your post history and now thus says it all. Sorry for your loss I can only hope they lived a wholesome life
Some people deal with death in strange ways man, don’t know what to do with their emotions, act weird, push back. Perhaps try to talk how you felt when she said that without bringing up the death too much.
Was with a girl for five years, lost my brother (not blood, closer than that)
While she wasn’t as brutally emotionless as your gf, she did not really support me or display genuine compassion for my loss. We were broken up a few weeks later. You can’t recover from something like this, in my opinion.
Did you find this woman at the red flag depot?
This is actually really creepy. She couldn’t even pretend to be sad that your friend just died? How horrifying.
My best friend died 8 years ago. I have thought about him several times a day, every day since he died. I still cry 3-4 times a year over grief and his birthday and the day he died are still hard for me. What your girlfriend said is insanely callous. You have every right to think your SO should be there for you. If her best friend died what do you think she’d do if you reacted this way? Either this person doesn’t love you or just plain lacks the ability to have compassion but both are deal breakers for me.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Talk to your friends, your family, whoever you need to support you in your time. Meanwhile go LC with your GF and once you’re in the right headspace, maybe reevaluate your relationship with her. She’s just shown you who she really is.
You deserve someone in your life who supports you.
“Normal”? WTF, dude, is she crazy or something? RUN!!!
Leave her, she clearly doesn’t have your feelings in a list of things she cares for. I understand some people aren’t very affectionate but that is a joke.
Do NOT think about your relationship now. You are reeling from pain and loss, and are incapable of making major life decisions at this moment. Compartmentalize your relationship and deal with your grief first.