Sunday, March 26, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceGroom didn’t show up for court house ceremony

Groom didn’t show up for court house ceremony

I had previously posted about this issue. My sister in law (42F) and brother (36M) chose to elope after so many years together . He asked her to chose a date, she did & he didn’t show this morning for their court house ceremony. He told her he’s removed his stuff from their apartment and he will schedule the ceremony for 39 days from now when she’s ready with a prenup, she’s not being disrespectful or clearly reacting to his abuse.

Idk what to say to her at all. I was her witness and I was heart broken with her; she wailed like a baby. I’ve never heard a grown woman cry the way she did; she screamed that she just wanted love and to be chosen by him.

Any advice?

TLDR brother left SIL waiting at morning court house ceremony, need advice

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  1. No decent human being waits until the wedding day to make demands. I’m sure it doesn’t feel like it to her, but she is better off knowing what he is now rather than after marriage. I hope she can heal and go on with her life without this nasty, cruel man.

  2. In a way, he did her a huge favor. It was insanely cruel but in the long run she’ll be much better off without that jerk in her life.

    Really hope she gets enough self respect to block him and never speak to him again.

  3. Your brother doesn’t want to marry this woman, and has been lying to her for years about “someday.”

    He is a complete and total ass. Cowardly and deliberately cruel.

    That crap about 39 days and a prenup is just more lies and empty words he spews so he can convince himself he’s justified in hurting someone so horribly.

    He’s moved out. I sincerely hope she never contacts him again.

    I’m sorry for her, and I’m sorry that you have such a rotten person for a brother.

  4. > she screamed that she just wanted love and to be chosen by him.

    He fucking stood her up on their wedding day, she is not loved by him and she should not choose him. Even though she wants to be “chosen by him”. If this is the start of the process of getting married to him, being married to him doesn’t sound like a good time.

  5. Your brother was a jerk for handling it this way. This was a conversation that needed to happen and resolved prior to setting the date for the courthouse wedding. He didn’t have to humiliate her the way he did.

  6. Your brother has a commitment phobia. Unfortunately, he has wasted SIX YEARS of this woman’s life. Frankly, I think you should encourage her to find someone who isn’t a self absorbed AH and will treat her with love and kindness instead of unbelievable cruelty.

  7. Your brother is terrible, tell him to stop stringing this woman along. He has no assets; he doesn’t need a prenup. He just doesn’t want to marry her and has wasted so much of her time already.

  8. Hey, pick a date. OOOOoooo… rug jerked out from under ya.

    5.5 weeks from now, if we’ve got a signed pre-nup, this could *ALLLLLLL* be yours… if the price on your dignity is right! 😀

    …guy sounds like a complete turd-burglar. Honestly, knee-jerk reaction is that he won the lottery & is wanting to protect his winnings before they can legally be claimed by her. (39 days seems like such an arbitrary time frame – why not just make it 40? Is he the devil’s own & feeling superstitious?)

    I suggest she make tracks like Pacific West, BNSF & Amtrak combined – & haul away from this guy, choo-choo-choose someone better. Hell, some sort of ‘palimony’ suit could almost fit, for all I know.

    If he’s bowling her over on a date, this nut isn’t worth his salt & should be barred from returning.

    Wishing her the best – and a better mate to commit her future to.

  9. I think he was waiting for her to get cold feet and back out. When she didn’t, he freaked. 39 days and a prenup, plenty of time for extravagant excuses. I say he never wanted to marry her and when his feet hit the fire, he booked. He does not deserve her as a GF or a wife, abd certainly not you for a sister. Tear his ass up!

  10. Imagine this, she’s sitting at the court house happy and devoted, waiting for him because she clearly loves him a lot. Meanwhile he’s at their apartment secretly moving all his stuff out like a snake. Tell her to find someone else. Im not kidding, a lot of women need to learn this.

  11. Your brother is a coward & emotionally abusive.. If he didn’t want to get married he could’ve told her and not left her at the alter. She should choose to leave this guy. I hope you still are a supportive friend and I hope she finds someone better. As for the brother, it’d be a long time before he heard from me again if he was mine

  12. It may be good to encourage her to see a therapist. Ask her if she feels she deserves to be treated like that and why she would settle for some one who does instead of finding some one who treats her like she deserves. What kind of value does she feel she’s worth.

  13. Your brother let you go to a wedding he knew he wouldn’t attend so that you could pick up the pieces for him.

    Now, your on here asking people how to deal with his mess.

    My advice? Shit in his coffee then throw it in his face as you disown that turd. Fuck your brother.

  14. Your brother is Grade A stupid. He could have married her and then taken half of HER assets in the divorce. Seriously, she just dodged a 50 calibre bullet. The first thing she needs to do is lock down her bank accounts and credit cards to ensure he doesn’t rob her on the way out.

  15. She needs a therapist. I can’t imagine a relationship where the guy was that indifferent to the ceremony in the first place was a healthy one.

    Was there a huge wealth disparity between them? If they had managed to accumulate wealth at their relative ages, a prenup should have been discussed ages ago. I hope she ends this relationship, she’s been humiliated enough, she shouldn’t sign up for more.

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  17. I read some earlier entries: this is the guy who has nothing? He wants a pre-nup to protect her assets? And he is asking her to produce it?

    Has this relationship been full of him being abusive?

    This is an asshat move of the highest order. I’d sit her down and say that she deserves better. She needs to go out and choose someone herself. Of course, this hurts. She’s embarrassed and shamed. Which is exactly what he is counting on from her.

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