we had been seeing each other for 3 months. i’m a freshman in college and we spent lots of time together. we had so much in common, he is so smart, and i looked up to him so much and thought the world of him. we went to the gym together, i slept over at his house a lot, we danced and kissed, we talked about everything together, and he wanted to meet my family. we never even had sex. he said so many beautiful things to me. bought me birthday gifts. he did so much for me, was so helpful, and everyone that saw us said that he seemed like he was in love with me. today, my roommate and i were talking and said something seemed suspicious. she followed this girl on instagram- and boom. she has been dating him for the last 2.5 years. i tried calling him, no response, so i told him to call me. then my roommate texted the girl and she said yes she was dating him and asked what was going on. we called her and i told her everything. then he texted me and said “i’m sorry.” i said we need to talk and he said “yes we do”. told him basically that i was shocked and that i hoped he had an explanation. he just said “i’m sorry for doing this to you.” then i said i would be at his place to pick up my things and he blocked me on everything. what do i do? i feel so blindsided, hurt, heartbroken. i feel like i made a mistake telling his girlfriend before talking to him. what do i do?
heartbroken. i just found out i was the other woman. blocked on everything.
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Why should you feel bad or that you made a mistake for ANYTHING. This douchebag lied. What would talking to him first have done? So he could lie to your face? He’s an AH.
You go over to his place with a friend and take your stuff back and never speak to him again.
OP, he lied to you and he cheated on his GF. You didn’t know, you weren’t even a willing accomplice to his cheating – and as soon as you confirmed that he was already seeing someone else, you told the woman he cheated what he was doing behind her back. You showed personal integrity and courage in calling her, even as your heart was breaking because you liked him so much during your short time together.
You did nothing wrong here. You were swindled by a highly experienced liar and cheat who knew exactly how to make you think he was the real deal. You have nothing to feel guilty about, and ESPECIALLY you shouldn’t feel guilty for not waiting to talk to your cheating BF before contacting his GF. Knowing how easily he lies, you would have given him the time and space to concoct stories to try to keep both of you happy, and both of you still on his hook.
He is probably well on his way to starting his next serial cheating adventure already. Depending on the value of the items you left at his place, you may just want to just keep this sleazy character in your rear-view mirror and buy new stuff, so you don’t have to figure out how to retrieve everything without having to contact or face him again.
**NO MISTAKES WERE MADE**
He disrespected both you, his gf, and himself by doing this. There’s no excuse for what he has done.
Also, I talk from experience (multiple experiences actually): If he has done this once, he will do it again or has done it again. By walking away you are the one who wins. F*** him.
*Oh, AND GO GET YOUR STUFF*
No, you did the right thing telling his gf before talking to him. If you spoke to him first, like all cheaters, he would have just filled your head with a bunch BS and lies about his gf, how unhappy he is, blah blah blah. Then you might have been manipulated into wasting more time on this creep than he deserves. He’s very good at his player game, that’s why you fell for him so hard and fast. Thankfully his gf is now clued in and you can heal then pick yourself up and find some one worthy of you.
If you still want anything to do with that guy means you need therapy. It baffles me when people do anything to keep a relationship with narcissistic assholes like the one you described.
Thoroughly investigate people on social media before getting deep into a relationship with them. That way if you find this stuff early you can walk away no harm no foul.
You are a victim here and you did the right thing.
Pain, heartbreak and embarrassment is understandable…but your last sentence is not. What do you think will you gain from talking to him? Are you considering being his sidepiece to avoid pain? Or did you hope to do the pick me game, which is not attractive?
Let go, and find peace, be thankful you found out early. Get busy with other things. In time you’ll look back on this and wonder what the fuss was all about.
please wake up from your delusion. you should have talked to him before calling his gf of 2.5 years, for what reason? DOn’t talk to him, just leave. you are hoping he will come to his senses, he won’t. he got tired of the gf, and started in with you to make it easier for him. sorry you are hurt, you’ve every right to be, but there is no sense to make of it. guys can sometimes be cruel, rude and thoughtless. he is a weak guy, be glad that it’s out in the open.
Well, some people suck, and some people REALLY REALLY suck. This guy is an awful person. You were duped and deceived. Get your stuff from him (don’t go alone) and move on.
I don’t know what you could’ve done here. You didn’t do anything wrong. You found an extraordinarily terrible person. Don’t beat yourself up about it, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m glad you told the other woman everything. She needs to understand who she’s involved with, as well.
Best of luck. Go easy on yourself. Use your support systems as much as you can.
Closure is overrated…give yourself the closure by accepting that crap happens, and it happened to you. He’s a crappy person, and that’s the closure right there… Retribution will come to him in time…or not.
But for you, when you see him next, ignore him, dont show him how much he hurt you. By that time, I hope you’re living your best life, and ignoring him will be super easy.
Good luck!
It was only 3 months you’ll get over it you dodged a bullet.
I understand you are hurting. It will take time to work through that. Honor what you need. Many friends will tell you “fuck that guy” and whatever, but it’s hard to go from love to hate so quickly. You aren’t wrong to have conflicting feelings during this period.
BUT when you’re ready.. fuck that guy! It’s a blessing in disguise that you found this out now and not when you became even more attached. You are worth way more than that treatment.
Ehhh…move on…he’s not worth the energy
Seems like trash took itself out.
Problem with a lot of dudes is as long as their physical needs are met they’re good. I can’t offer any sage advice for you, you got unlucky and it sucks but someone else will come along.
Get your stuff and use the punching bag at the gym for a while.
I feel you. This is not your fault and you nor his GF did anything wrong.
He’s a lying, manipulative piece of sh…
Go get your stuff and leave him. I just went through something similar. Dated him for a year, turned out he had a gf he’s been with for the past 8 fucking years.
Not only that, bug he also said he had aspergers to cover certain behaviors that could be easily explained by aspergers, but as I later found out… It’s his gfs son the one with aspergers and he’s the one taking the kid to all of the appointments and learning all about “shut downs” which he would tell me about when he in fact just didn’t want to talk to me.
Let these assholes burn. And don’t look back.