He has a full time job and is moderately busy, but I know that he gets to his apartment at around 5pm every day and doesn’t leave until the next. I have school every weekday until 2:30pm, when I can be home around 3:00pm. Seeing each other could not be easier, since he literally lives 9 minutes away on foot. I text him and he is very slow to reply, and I ask if I can come over and he doesn’t answer until late when he says sorry, he hadn’t seen my text. He just always seems to be in another world of his own. I really like this guy and I want to make things work and he feels the same (when we see each other). The issue is I believe he is afraid to take a closer/more intimate step. There are other underlying issues that have happened which I feel are not suitable for this sub, but I definitely would like advice on how to approach him with my feelings and hope that we can be a better and more communicative relationship.
I (19F) feel under appreciated / ignored when it comes to my day to day by my partner (25M), how can I improve my communication and his interest in me?
How long have you been together?
Kinda wondering if he only sees you when he feels like having sex.
Regardless of whether that’s accurate, it’s pretty clear that most days he doesn’t want to spend time with you. Why not look for a relationship that makes you feel valued instead of ignored?
It doesn’t sound like he’s afraid to take the next step, it sounds like he’s fine with how things are now. When you do see each other, is it generally for sex? If so, you might be FWB.
Start by not dating someone that old. That way you two have similar lifestyles
Have you tried telling him this?
I’ll go with the classic line: if he wanted to he would. Tell him how ya feel and see if things change.
He is just not that into you, unfortunately.
Have you asked him if he is afraid of taking a more intimate step in the relationship? Or has he given you any reason as to believe he is afraid?
Have you ever been round to his apartment?
Be forward with your feelings. Tell him directly I want more time together, and I think we can both accommodate that. Maybe try to set up regularly scheduled dinners or just evenings where you can see each other. Even if you’re studying and doing homework and he’s just watching tv or playing video games, just be in the same room.
I would move on. You are way too gorgeous to be settling for a guy who ignores you at the age of 19. Plenty of dudes out there for you who will appreciate being with you more.
I’ve learned through life that you can’t change people. Too many people hate confrontation and tell you one thing, but show you another. Listen to what he is showing you instead of his words.
This may not be the answer you want, but my advice would be to find someone else, someone who appreciates you and values you. Someone who builds you up rather than tearing you down with their actions.
Regardless, I am curious as to what in his history would explain or excuse the way he treats you. You hinted at something, but left it unsaid.
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