Friday, March 24, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceI (25F) told my friend (40F) I do not feel comfortable moving...

I (25F) told my friend (40F) I do not feel comfortable moving into a more expensive place, but she keeps trying to convince me to sign the lease.

She and her husband (both 40) are depending on my credit score and income to qualify for a 1-year lease to rent a house. It’s $2400-2600/month, which I cannot afford on my own. They are depending on being able to rent out rooms, the pool, and storage space in order to make enough money to pay rent. They admitted that if we cannot make that money that way, we will not be able to afford the rent. If a tenant doesn’t pay, or people do not want to rent the pool (it’s almost winter), we cannot make rent and will all be ruined financially.

But whenever I bring up my concerns, instead of being like “okay I understand how you feel, we won’t do it” my friend keeps saying “don’t worry about the money, I guarantee we can make enough money on that land!” I feel like she’s invalidating my concerns and not accepting that I do not want to sign the lease. Stress is already affecting my health, and this is making it worse. She is pushing hard to move into this new place, and says she does not feel safe where we currently live (a previous guest punched her). I don’t know what to do, because of course her safety is important but we literally cannot afford to rent our own house. But they cannot move on their own either and said they are depending on my income and credit score.

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  1. Don’t sign the lease unless you can afford to pay. If you lose a friend so be it. I wouldn’t even consider their offer that’s an insane amount monthly. Frankly I’d be offended they expected you to pay that much. They owe you an apology.

  2. Do





    It is YOUR ass on the line. It is YOUR credit. Do NOT let these people suck you in like this, and never, EVER sign up for a lease you can’t afford without external, ethereal payments which aren’t even set in stone. What they’re asking is ridiculous.

  3. They are about to ruin your credit score! If two 40 years ain’t got it, it’s not on you to help.

    They are using you OP! These people are not your friends and are about to ruin your financial life.

  4. These people using you for your credit aren’t your friends at all. They are the scam! Bet THEY pay one months rent and pocket the rent. Here is a lesson most adults learned in a harsh, destructive way; DONT LEND YOUR CREDIT!!!

  5. You’re 25 with good credit and they’re 40 with terrible credit. Obviously they make bad financial decisions. As a rule of thumb, whenever they suggest something, think the opposite. Like if they say don’t worry it’s fine, then translate in your head as “worry! This isn’t fine!”

    I would actually find brand new roommates. These people will drag you down to their level. If you’re in a throuple, just live independently.

  6. İf 2 people who are 40 cannot afford 2600 a month on their own run like the wind.
    I guarantee you, nobody will rent the pool rooms etc.

    Most importantly, stop being friends with them. If someone is 40 but acts like a 25 year old run away. The only 40 year olds in your life should be mature and be more of a mentor for you. Not people who wants to use your resources

  7. Do not sign this lease!!! A much older couple can’t handle the place on their own? They are using you and you are seeing how they will treat your concerns when you move into the place.

    Do not co-sign anything you can’t afford to pay for yourself! They will destroy your credit and not care.

    Find a space for yourself that you can afford. You aren’t responsible for finding housing for a friend.

  8. These people are 40 years old and are so financially unstable they’re depending on a 24-year-old to finance a tenuous get-rich-quick scheme. If they refuse to leave you alone, cut them off, because they will absolutely screw you over if you agree to let them.

    Perhaps they should look for a small apartment they can afford instead of a giant house. And if even a small apartment is out of reach, that’s all the more reason not to trust these people one inch.

  9. Ok. As someone who has rented with someone older than me (I was 19, she was 29 both at university – she was a mature student) I am going to say what I wish I could have told myself. DON’T DO IT. They will ruin your credit, leave you constantly stressed about money, not pay what they owe you and spend their money on frivolous crap.

    My delightful roommate was a pain in my ass for a whole year. I wasn’t constantly asking my parents for more money to pay bills. She would get her student loan and blow it on an Xbox, a new iPod, iPhone, digital camera, cigarettes, takeaway. Meanwhile I was paying the WiFi, electric, gas, water bills on time to avoid late fees and bad credit etc whilst struggling to buy groceries for myself. I put everything in my name for a reason because I knew she wouldn’t pay it if it was in hers.

    It was financially crippling. I was constantly stressed. She would spend £30-40 on a single takeaway. Eat a tiny portion and the rest would be left to rot until I threw it out. That money could have been spent on groceries, bills etc. To this day I get chills thinking about how I let myself be used and guilt tripped.

    I honestly hate her guts for what she put me through. This was a grown woman who had numerous grants and loans given to her and she still lived way beyond her means and was crap with money management. The uni had to bail her out once and they wrote off her debt. What I didn’t know was that she came to uni with about £5k in debt from laser eye surgery and a wide screen tv. Had I known that prior to signing the lease I wouldn’t have lived with her. She was very manipulative and would guilt trip you and make you feel bad for her.

    To make matters worse, she somehow convinced the letting agents into making my mother her rent guarantor. She worked with the agents to pay her rent quarterly when her loan came in rather than monthly so thankfully she didnt leave my mum responsible for her rent and thankfully my mum made her sign an agreement that she would pay her back in full if she ever made a claim and would be subject to legal action if she didn’t pay back within a certain amount of time.

    Seriously OP. Take it from me. Walk away from these users. If they can’t afford the house now then they can’t afford it period and their schemes and empty promises are just not worth the stress and financial risk.

  10. Two 40 year olds didn’t care enough about their own credit to pay their bills on time, do you really think they’re gonna give a shit about yours? If you co-sign, they will ruin your credit and down the road, *you* will be a sad sack 40 year old trying to manipulate a much younger person into letting you destroy their credit…

  11. My mother had a very good “friend” for a number of year. She was dropping by, socialized with her and everything. Very good friend, as my mother thought. Until the moment when friend offered to ship her to the retirement home, on exchange for her apartment. She declined, and friend disappeared.

    She reappeared when my mother died, again with some scheme for her kids to live in my mother’s apartment for free. I politely declined, and that is the last time I heard from her.

    So as this case is one-sided friendship where other side is extracting benefits from you, don’t feel bad to decline.

  12. No way in hell would I jeopardize my good credit rating for these irresponsible mooches. They are way too “easygoing” for my feeling. Don’t do it! People this age should have a better credit score and money in savings. Please don’t let them trap you!

  13. Seems like a good place for that old saying….you are not obligated to light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

    You clearly love your friend and don’t want to upset her. But no means no and if she can’t hear that than you’re the one who ought to be getting upset.

  14. No is a full sentence. It literally doesn’t matter if she invalidates your concerns. Nothing she says matters. Just nod along and go “you keep talking about these plans that aren’t going to happen. I already told you no.”

    Find a different roommate.

  15. You are concerned for her comfort and need to feel safe. Is she showing you the same decency about your stress and stability concerns?

    You can move somewhere cheaper on your own. If she can not why is she putting the burden on you? Would you do that to her? Is that something a good friend would do?

    If you were on the outside of this situation what would you say to yourself?

  16. Please don’t sign! They’re definitely too dependent on you/using you. If you can’t pay that rent on your own, then you’re royally screwed if they decide to up and leave or destroy the property.

    Get new roommates and friends. I don’t care where you live. Not worth it.

  17. They are using you. They will ruin your credit score.

    There are married and 15 years older than you. Their place/safety is their responsibility, not yours.

    Also, when you sign a lease, you can not sublet individual rooms to other people. Landlords can evict you if you do that.

  18. What a crazy loopy plan to come up with. Rent a pool? What? They sound like a couple kids in a playhouse in the backyard, hatching stupid ideas. Get tf away from these imbeciles

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