Ages and small details have been changed for amenity. I also apologize for spelling issues, grammar, and basically rambling as I’m conflicted and cunfused as to what to do.
My cousin has always been a troubled person, getting arrested, hard drugs, stealing from family, but we all had hope when she got pregnant. We thought she would change as she seemed so excited about having a baby. She stopped doing drugs, stopped smoking, and stayed out of trouble, or so we thought.
I came to my parents house a few days ago and am staying for about a week with my fiance and kid so we can be closer to my cousin for when she had the baby. she had told us she needed help because she’s going in to be induced a week early and has some things she still need done around her place for the baby.
This afternoon i was hanging out with a few of my old college friends when she called saying she was on the way to the hospital to have the baby. I was so excited and said so to my friends.
They then told me that i shouldn’t be happy for her just yet. I asked them why. They continued to tell me that they saw her smoking weed just the day before. Usually i wouldn’t jump to any assumptions or judgment about just the weed, as when my fiancee and i lived where it was legal and when she was pregnant with our son she went through terrible morning sickness all day every day of her pregnancy, as well as she had so much pain going on that the DR hinted heavily for her to try low dose edibles, otherwise she would probably need to be hospitalized for her to get the nutrition her and our child needed.
But my cousin didn’t have those issues. Infact she bragged all the time about having an easy pregnancy. Not only that but she had told everyone she had stopped all drugs completely and was staying out of trouble. I am worried if she lied about that what else could she still be doing I continued to ask my friends questions, making sure it was her and if they saw it right.
Come to find out she’s been smoking the whole time and smoking cigarettes too, as well as she was arrested a few months ago?! And a few more concerning details.
It’s not just the weed I’m worried about, but i honestly believe that she’s still doing other drugs now too. If you knew her you would understand why I’m worried about it.
I had my fiancee go with the spare key to her place and snoop, i know i shouldn’t have asked her to do that but i didn’t know what else to do. She found several packs of cigarettes, weed, half bottles of liquor, and a few more things, but nothing concrete evidence of harder stuff. She aslo told me that the nursery was basically empty. My cousin only has like 5 outfits, none of them are smaller than 6 months, 2 packs of diapers, no wipes, and only a bassinet that was recalled 3 years ago. I know it was recalled because we had it for our son at the time the recall was issued. And we also have sent her so much of the things we still had from our kid, and bought new items for her. Fiancee can’t find them at all.
I have been thinking of what i should do.
The state she lives in does not force drug tests on pregnant women, or their babies without consent so i don’t think they would catch anything unless the baby was showing signs. I want to tell the hospital staff, or call CPS. My cousin is still in labor and I’m sitting I’m the waiting room freaking out about my baby cousin (the actual baby) and if she’s going to be alright. I feel like a coward for not doing something already but I’m just not sure the right way to go about it. I don’t even care about the backlash i will get from family, all o care about is the baby.
TLDR: 100% sure my cousin had been doing drugs her whole pregnancy, I’m not sure what to do while she’s I’m active labor.
Find the hospital social worker. They’ll know what to do.
If she did this while pregnant she will no doubt continue while having a newborn. I think you should definitely let the staff now at the very least
I think it’s reasonable to involve cps or tell a nurse or dr. If you think she has been using other drugs/alcohol that baby can be born with withdrawal. I also suspect she sold the baby gifts and used the money for something else. Protect that baby.
Report to child services as well as a hospital social worker, a doctor and a nurse. Don’t just leave it up to one agency because that isn’t always enough. Make sure the hospital knows to test her and her baby for drugs. This is a baby’s life and it’s always okay to take that very seriously.
You have no idea what kind of parent she’ll be once she’s holding her baby. Involving CPS now is shitty and it’s unlikely there’s anything they can do about a baby who isn’t even born yet.
Be supportive instead. If you see things going south, talk to family about it before you go reporting her.
Tell the hospital staff, it could affect the health and wellbeing of the baby and they need to know.
Even if you don’t report, if the baby is showing signs of withdrawal or fasd, CPS is going to be involved. Hopefully, you will be able to take the baby while the mom is going through rehab.