Saturday, April 1, 2023
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I came in my hand while having sex with my girlfriend and she’s mad at me I’m confused

So we were having sex like normal and I was about to cum. Well we were in doggy and I pulled out and came in my hand. She got up and looked mad. So I asked if she was ok and she asked why I came in my hand? I just said I thought it would be easier to clean up and she said that she wants me to cum on her and that it makes her feel desired. she asked if she did something wrong and I said no. But she thinks she did something wrong for me not to cum on her.

Now I had no idea this was even a thing. Like what is appealing about a guy cuming on you? I don’t understand this at all. I want to apologize but I don’t really know how. Like do I just say I’m sorry I didn’t cum on you. I’m just really confused. Like is this a real thing that women like?

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  1. I don’t think it’s really about the cum itself but more about the intimacy. I think she wants to feel like she is a part of your climax, and you coming in your hand rather than on her took her out of that experience. Just have a conversation, thank her for communicating her desires but say that you want to and sure you understand what’s important to her during sex. Maybe highlight that you were still watching her when you came and you weren’t just jerking off behind her.

  2. >Like do I just say I’m sorry I didn’t cum on you

    “Sorry, now that I know you like it, I’ll do that instead” or something like that.

    >Like is this a real thing that women like?

    It’s something your girlfriend likes, that’s the important part.

  3. Try this: think of the strangest thing you could possibly do in sex. And I’m here to tell you that no matter your answer, someone is into it.

    And having someone cum on you is not far down the list as far as creativity is concerned, so yes, it’s absolutely a thing that people are into.

  4. I’m just imagining a sit com version of this scenario with op sitting there blank stare with cum still in his hand like:

    “You *want* me to get cum on you?”


    Op looks at girlfriend, looks at hand, looks at girlfriend, wipes hand on girlfriend’s shoulder.

    Directed by Robert B. Weide

  5. So here’s my take on this if you cum on her then you AND her are part of it however if you cum in your hand it’s like saying thanks for letting me use your pussy to jerk off.

  6. “Hey babe, so to clarify. You like it when I cum on you?”


    “Can you tell me what / where you like about it? So I can do it in the future?”

    “<she explains it>

    <you do it>

    Her being “mad” at you is really weird, it was obviously a spur of the moment decision. But this is a good time for you guys to talk about your sexual desires’n stuff.

  7. You sound quite confused with what your partner wants with sex. To be clear, there is no one-size-fits all when it comes to sex – everyone has their own preferences.

    Some people like having cum inside them. So like it outside. So don’t want it on or in them. Some want to be choked, some don’t. So like hair pulling, others don’t. Some want dirty talk, etc.

    The most important things in sex are boundaries and respect. Part of knowing someone’s boundaries (I.e. what they don’t want) is knowing what they want.

    Have a ‘sex talk’ with your gf. Ask her what she likes in sex. Ask her what her limits or no go zones are.

    Importantly, also tell her what YOU like and dislike. You’re in this together, after all. You can even open up to see if there’s anything either of you want to try (bdsm, spanking, bondage, etc)

    Happy sexing.

  8. Yeah the first time I came with my ex we hadn’t talked about finishing inside her so I just did it in my hand and she wasn’t mad, but she did politely ask that I do it in her mouth or on her back, she wanted to be a part of it. She probably just felt left out of the most important part.

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  10. This probably belongs on r/sex but yeah, women are into cum. It’s like, my favorite thing about sex, tbh. If I was expecting a big load and he caught it in his hand, I’d be so frustrated. You just blueballed your girlfriend lol.

  11. Honestly, if I caught my partner coming in their hand I would think that I did something wrong too. Like I wasn’t enough for you and wasn’t sexy, sensual or arousing to my partner, to the point that their hand was better than me. I’d feel so self conscious and devastated. Just give her the cum lol some of us are really into it and when turned away it’s very hurtful. Talk to her first though to clear the air.

  12. “Like is this a real thing women like?” Yes.

    But most importantly, **she** likes it. She, as an individual, enjoys it. It makes *her* feel sexy and wanted. Do a lot of women enjoy it? Yes. Do a lot of women hate it? Yes. Same goes for men and everyone in-between.

    She could do a better job communicating that and you should emphasize that point. Also tell her, “Hey babe, I didn’t even know that was a thing I could do.” However, don’t make it out like she’s some sort of weirdo.

  13. Woman here, oh *god* do I love it. My BF has noticed (he noticed *very* quickly that it gets me going) – I suppose it’s my kink? Either way, I can understand where she’s coming from, it definitely makes you feel *very* desired

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