I can’t cope anymore!!
So a bit of back story. I’m disabled and live with my ex of 20 years and our kids. He split up with me due to gaining weight and not being able to move much. I’m 36f he’s 40m
We get tax credits and on a Tuesday it goes on food, gas and electric with a bit left over for him. The money goes into his bank and trying to get it off him is stressing me out. He’s refusing to put the money in my bank because I can’t clean the house like he wants me to. I’ve got no food and no money for food. If I tell him I’m getting it changed to my bank he threatens me. Not that I cam do it cause I’ve got no credit. Social services are no help. It’s my middle child birthday this weekend and I can’t even get him anything which he’s pissed off about. No Christmas presents either cause we’re totally skint. I’m in constant pain due to 3 autoimmune diseases. I don’t want to be alive anymore. Painkillers only ease the pain slightly. I’ve attempted to unalive myself and it obviously didn’t work. I just can’t cope anymore. My youngest is refusing to go to school, trying to get him to go is stressing me out so much. I can’t buy anything. I’ve got fines to pay because he won’t attend which I can’t afford to pay, fines because he damaged a taxi which I can’t afford to pay, financial abuse by my ex. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just can’t cope with life.
Where do you live? Can you report his stealing the money?? Or is it considered joint money?
Do you have any friends, family or neighbours who could potentially help you out? Even if not, what about local charities? Particularly charities aimed towards helping people in abusive situations (what he’s doing to you is financial abuse, no question about it).
There will be someone out there who can help. When you find them, ask for help. Do not let pride, shame, or anxiety get in the way. You deserve help. You do not deserve to suffer. You need help, your kids need help.
Call anyone you know who might be able to offer assistance and tell them what you’ve told us. Don’t hold back. Tell them the whole truth. Like I said, don’t let emotions get in the way of what needs to be done. You need help.
If you have internet access, then google as many local charities as you can find who may be able to help. Food banks, disability charities, abuse victim charities.
You deserve help. Your kids deserve help. Do it for them. Do it for yourself. Don’t let anyone, especially not your ex, convince you you aren’t worth it.
If you’re in the UK, I’d suggest Citizens Advice. As a start.
You should start here with [Abuse hotline.](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/abuse-in-disability-communities/) There are links in there to Adult Protective services and Dept of Labor and Disability. Please look into these. They will help you get started.
You need to get this guy out of your life. He is a huge detriment and you will begin to recover once he’s out. I hope this helps.
I didn’t read any of that but I suggest you start smoking cigarettes if you know what’s good for you