I’m 33 years old with a wife and a 7 month old daughter.
I’ve always had insecurities and been depressed and anxious but things have really started to go downhill recently. I can’t deal with myself and with life any more and often find myself thinking of dying.
I know my wife will find someone else who will probably be a better husband and father. But I also worry about her immediate health and how she will cope. We are okay financially but I’m worried about how this will impact her.
I can’t talk with her about it because she’s going through a lot of post partum issues of her own. I cannot afford therapy.
I just wish I was dead.
My man, from one depressed person to another… Stay strong.. We want your daughter to have her father walk her down the aisle. I would suggest starting a hobby that you enjoy and switching your brain off while you indulge in said hobby. I do that with a console.
Trust me, killing or harming yourself will destroy your family. You are stronger than this.
Seek professional help immediately!
What’s stopping you from making the big changes that would make you happier? If you’re at the end of your rope anyway, why not do some crazy shit first and see how you feel?
Please talk to someone or go to your local ER.
If you can’t speak to your wife, what about a parent, sibling, or good friend? Please reach out, your wife will be devastated and you have a beautiful daughter to raise and experience many joys with.
Tell your wife what is going on and then go to your nearest ER. Tell them exactly what you wrote on here. You will get to see a Dr and they will help you.
Your daughter needs you. Your wife needs you. You deserve to live a happy life and to see your daughter grow. Please don’t take a chance at happiness away from yourself.
Depression is a lying bastard. You have a great wife and a fantastic kid, and their lives are only better with you there. .
You need to talk to a therapist. Yesterday.
My husband died unexpectedly 13 years ago at 34. Our boys were 10, 10 and 5. It broke us. For a very long time we were not normal functioning humans. We had years and years of intensive therapy to get just close to normal. Its taken all the 13 yeats he’s been gone. My boys equated (and still do) death with sleep. Because they went to sleep and dad was ok amd woke up and he wasn’t. You’ll be dead. Without a worry. But it will break your family.
Please, please if not for you, if not for your wife, please talk to someone for your daughter. Please.
Call 1-800-273-8255 or 988 if you are in the US.
I just want you to know you are not alone. You deserve to live a full life and as dark as things are right now for you it’s not forever. It can and will turn around. Please don’t give up now. You are wanted in this world. I can’t presume to know anything about your actual situation but when my family member ( teenage daughter) was going through pretty similar issues ( anxiety, depression, etc) the single biggest factor that helped turn things around for them was medicine, fluoxetine to be exact. It was amazing to see the light come back on. Their laugh feels me with joy. Even now I am so grateful, I thought I would lose them forever. Things aren’t perfect for them but after 12 months they are in therapy on their terms and riding the highs and lows of life. I’ve seen the impact of losing a loved one more then once, the fall out is devastating and inexplicable to even fathom. I am so sorry your partner is also struggling. Please speak to a doctor at the very least. If you have a family history of mental illness it’s even more important that you give yourself the opportunity to heal so you can raise your child in a way that accepts the reality that mental illness is an illness, that just like a physical injury it needs treatment and support. I want my children to thrive mentally and find peace and joy in their lives where they can. That’s my one goal and hope in life as a parent.
You cant leave your daughter alone
If your in the United States then call or text 988.
Your family will never be better off without you, they need you. Please reach out. Even if you can’t afford therapy you can still get help.
This is going to sound counterintuitive but go for a run.
Run 5k or as close as you can.
Come back and tell us how it went.
Please call 1-866-585-0445 Canadian Crisis Line. Or
call Talk Suicide Canada at 1-833-456-4566. Support is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
You will be so happy you asked for help. You got this.
The odds of you existing 1 in 7.83 billion. That’s how unique you are. You’re exist at this very time on this earth for a reason. Your wife would not be married to you, and especially would not have had a child with you if she did not see potential in you. She will never find anyone like you because you’re her everything. Nobody will be able to fill that role again. Your daughter will be raised on a lie that you died naturally or in a accident and your wife will live feeling like she’s responsible for you taking your life. You’re the man of the house, you’re supposed to be the leader for them. It’s time to turn this around. If you can’t afford therapy head to your local church on a Sunday, ask for prayer and learn about what they can do to help. Many churches offer counseling or therapy, even potentially assistance or a church member may offer it for free. I had a physical therapist from church who came to my house and gave me sessions for FREE because he felt for me with my injury and pain.
I’m always here, feel free to message me anytime. If you need to talk on the phone I’m here. I’ve gone through it too, I had separated from my fiancé and lost my job within a month. My health wasn’t great I was in constant pain and in a horrible financial situation. Yes I did do therapy but I turned things around while I was still uncomfortable about opening up to my therapist. I dropped toxic habits and sobered up. I go to the gym 5 days a week. Things still aren’t amazing for me, but I found the inner peace where now nothing breaks me down.
Check this video out it helps me whenever I do feel down.
Dude you have so much to live for, please seek out help. If you are going through a rough period try doing some radical self care like going to the gym 3-5 times a week before work and eating all non processed foods. At my lowest point in life I started working out and eating better which fully turned my life around.
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I also think like that and I am 40m and it just means to find a friend to talk too like me because you made the right choice by saying that I need help take a me day what can I do to be in a better place what is it that you seek/want is it to drank is it sex or is it just want to be loved and respected for what you put up with only a daily basis like what is going on in your head all the time what I seek and want is I need a little hug from time to time that just with out saying hey I see you you already know that you are and will be loved by someone
I am so sorry you’re feeling this way. I have been there and it is so difficult..your wife and daughter won’t be better off without you I promise you. Everything you think about yourself isn’t true. Talk to someone please. Sometimes we just need to say things out loud to see how wrong those thoughts are. Depression has a way of making you believe there’s no way out of it, that your dark thoughts are the reality. It’s not, you are loved and needed and you deserve to live and be happy.
One of my close friend has been going through this very recently and isolated herself and we kept contact with her, letting her know we love her. And only when she finally broke down and told us what her brain was telling her could she see all her thoughts were wrong. We don’t hate her, she is a great human being that we’re lucky to have in our lives. I promise you this is how your family feels about you.
I know it’s easy to say all that, but if you can’t believe it just yet, just pretend you do.
You’re not alone.
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