Friday, March 24, 2023
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If a girl sleeps with you on the first date, would you still consider a future with her?

I (24f) slept with a guy (23m) on the first date. This was only a few days ago so there hasn’t been a second date yet. But he is still texting me a lot and suggesting plenty of things we can do together. He was apprehensive when we hooked up and said he doesn’t want to hook up on the first date, but he changed his mind quickly and we got to it. But we both seemed to really enjoy the date, and the next morning he told me I could stay as long as I like and he just continued talking to me but I left reasonably early in the morning so as to not overstay my welcome.

So I guess what I’m worried about is, things are looking quite promising and exciting and he seems to be putting in emotional effort, he is still asking me a lot about myself and talking to me about himself etc. is it possible that he might take me the distance but not consider a future with me now?

Despite hooking up with him on the first date, as far as commitment goes I want to take it slow. I don’t sleep around, he is the first guy I have slept with in 6 months since I got out of a relationship. I did say to him at the time that I just really like him. I’m worried he might get the wrong idea about me now, because I think what you would assume about someone who bangs on the first date is actually the opposite of what I’m really like


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  1. He also slept with you on the first date, do you think any less of him for it? It works both ways, you both slept with each other on the first date – if he has a problem with you for it, then he also needs to look at himself…
    It sounds promising though!

  2. Better question:

    Would you want to date a guy that is attracted to you, is interested in you, connected with you, but just can’t see a future with any girl who would have sex with him on the first date?

    That guy sucks. If that’s who he is, you’d dodge a bullet if this didn’t work out.

  3. I’m still in a relationship with a woman who slept with me on the first date. Its all about vibing and chemistry. She was really excited and I understood her verbal cues and made a move. We kept on texting each other for the next few days, went on dates, we again had sex on the third date. And by that time we made it official and been together since.

    People will always judge but it comes down to you and him. Just go with the flow and get to know each other as much as possible, try to find common interests and built a relationship.

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  5. I’ve had several long-term relationships that should have stayed one-night stands. Notice I used past tense. It’s been my experience that when sex happens right out the gate, you get so sucked in by the limerence that you don’t actually get to know the person. Once the limerence wears off, that’s when the real shit rises to the surface. I’m not saying a relationship borne out of a one night stand can’t be successful, I’m only sharing my experience. Me and my current SO (together for 7 years; early 50s) have been through some serious shit, and we didn’t bang it out for at least a month. We may have waited two months. Part of the reason was we were both skanks and had numerous bad experiences with our sexual promiscuity. I’m glad we got to know each other before we started fucking. It was a nice change.

  6. My partner was supposed to be a one night stand, 3 years later he’s my fiancée.

    Also, he slept with you just like you slept with him. Do you consider a future with him? It goes both ways.

  7. My first date with my now husband, we slept together. Our date lasted from Friday night to Sunday evening. We’re very happily married. It won’t matter if it’s the right guy.

  8. I would just say be honest: you could say, “you know, maybe things happened a little too fast, but what happened happened and I want to keep exploring things with you. I like you very much.” The point is you can’t change the past but you can affect the future. The fact that there was strong attraction is more positive than negative.

  9. Babe you are way over thinking this. Even if he won’t date you, what’s done is done. Sounds like you like this dude. So Just keep putting your best foot forward and hope for the best. Nothing else you can do.

    Fwiw I would definitely date a girl who is DTF on the first night

  10. I think you are asking the wrong question. You should ask “if a partner limits future relationship choices with you based on how soon you have sex with them are they a good person and someone I want to spend the rest of my life with?”

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