Fuck what do I do?? In the texts he asked for an appointment with a prostitute. No evidence he went there. Do I make a big Deal out of it at the airport and let him fly alone? Or try to enjoy the holiday and confront him later?? Help!
Update: We are about to Board the Plane now. I thought I could play along and think about everything for a few days before confronting him, But after 30min Standing in lines together and him noticing sths up I couldnt anymore. I told him I saw the texts. Now we are about to board and it‘s going to be 7 hours of awkward silence until we arrive. Damn I think I should have left the airport this sucks.
…..are you going to enjoy the holiday with someone you thought was faithful but is paying for sex?
Go home.
I would tell him you don’t want him to join you on holiday. Go alone and get some space to think.
Literally don’t go. Being forced to “play pretend” away from home is going to do a lot of emotional damage to you. You need to get out. Tell him what you saw, and that you need space.
Get tested
Don’t go. You will only think about this and be miserable
OP – when you get there and you read this do one very simple thing.
Have an absolute blast of a time at the destination. Go out there as a single gal and have some fun! Meet new people and see the sights. Have fun and enjoy yourself.
That’s after you book yourself another hotel room and and a different flight back.
But look, you are there now so why not enjoy yourself and be done with him.
“No evidence he went there.”
Whether or not he actually went through with it (this time, I’m sure it’s not his first rodeo) shouldn’t change the outcome of this situation. This relationship needs to be over.
Ew. Ew ew ew. Jesus. I’m furious for you.
Go through everything if you get the chance and screenshot everything. I caught my partner texting one prostitute and went off at him, now I wish I stayed silent and looked through everything to see if he did anything else. Now I’m just forever wondering if he’s done other cheating behaviour I don’t know about. I wish I’d looked through everything when I had the chance, and stayed quiet until I had. We’re still together and it takes up so much of my mental space. Its heartbreaking, sorry you’re going through it x
I just saw your comment about the work trip. I would definitely not go then. That’s too bad. Sorry about your situation. That sucks.
Don’t have sex with him again until you can both get tested. Then get tested 6 months after that (some STDs don’t show up right away).
I just seen your update that you went with him, I would suggest you just take this time to talk it out with him. Cheaters usually have an extremely hard time telling the truth, so don’t be surprised if he trickle-truths you. Keep your guard up, and try your best to enjoy(more like neutral) the vacation.
Prioritize yourself. Use condoms if you go with him.
Out of curiosity, how did you read his texts? Did it pop up and you happened to glance at it or were you going through his text messages just because? Either way I’d distance yourself. Use his hotel as a place to sleep and thats it. Spend the days exploring around on your own and try to relax. Dumping him mid trip would mean youd probably need to pay out of pocket for a new hotel room(I don’t know your personal finances or if its even an option), then you’d also have to sit beside him on a plane ride home.
An update is desired! I’d love to hear what he had to say to defend cheating with prostitutes. Enjoying sight seeing and laying on a beach in the Canary Islands without the loser, then change your seat or flight for your return trip so you don’t have to deal with him and call a friend and have them pick you up from the airport. You can text him “we’re through” when you’re in your friends car.
Don’t go if you still can, you’re going to remember it as an emotional abuse you partially inflicted on yourself. Good luck if you already boarded, try to spend as much time far from him during the vacation as you can.
Get tested soon for any STD and please accept my Internet hug.
He literally thought “fuck my significant other, imma cheat with a hooker and hide this shit then lie to her face forever” and you still went “I’m gonna go on holiday with him”
Seriously?
Ok. About 15 years ago I married my first husband. Very happy at the time. Within literal DAYS of the wedding I was using his laptop and saw a messaging app open with messages between him and a Craigslist prostitute that had been going on for some time. Soliciting sex and she was trying to get money on top of that. D*** pics attached and the whole nine yards.
You can do what I should’ve done then and get the hell away from this loser. Guy later did what was apparently a pattern for him (had done it in an earlier relationship I had been unaware of) and cheated on me when we went through a rough patch, getting the girl pregnant. Run, run, run. You deserve so much more than this.
You don’t go. How hard is this? Jesus Christ.
I think while you’re on vacation, you ask him why he’s seeing prostitutes! How long has he been doing it and how many times. Tell him you know it’s more than once but need him to tell you exactly how many times lol. It’s a Jedi mind trick I used to get my kids to tell on themselves and each other when they were little. You can still have a good time but it’s a conversation that can’t wait. You might feel better getting it off your chest. Listen for his answer. Tell him you feel betrayed. Go from there. Hard conversations are tough but pretending to be happy on a vacation is probably not the way to go.
Your bf had bedroom issues a year ago according to your post history. Now this?
Leave him now.
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I feel bad for the person sharing your row.
Ewwwwww how can you go and have sex with him knowing he fucked a prostitute. How can you compartmentalize this?
You should just get off the plane.
You should’ve texted a friend or family member to call you and pretend there’s an emergency…
If the gaffe was just him texting, realizing how stupid he was and then not following through, a conversation might work. But if he actually went forward with it, you need to seriously reconsider the relationship.
I misunderstood the headline and thought you read his texts out loud to a prostitute to listen to. I was so confused. I need to go to sleep.
He is cheating on you just by asking!!! What is an appointment with a prostitute for? It’s not for a dental check up that’s for sure.
I wanna devils advocate this- whereas I 100% agree the OP should leave this loser- we know
Nothing about if he actually went to see one- we know nothing about this relationship. But for real- I
Hope you didn’t get on that plane- and I hope you go get tested and I hope you have the self worth to never speak to him again.
It doesnt matter if he went or not. Hes with you and seeing a prostitute is not ok. Dont go on the trip and let him know you know.
Nah girl enjoy ur holiday. Ignore him if thats what it takes. You have fun
Just awful!! Hate to say this, probably not his first time going to a prostitute.
Please go to your gyno and have a full std panel to protect yourself.
Please put yourself first, you certainly should be in a loving relationship with mutual love and trust.
Everyone one of these stories.
OP: “My GF/BF did something horrible! Please give me obvious answer!”
Reddit: “Provides obvious answer.”
OP: “But excuse why they can’t!”
Repeat 1000x throughout thread.
Man here: Get away from that disgusting pig. How could you even stand to be near him after that? You could have an STD. The appropriate response is to be angry as shit.
Everybody giving you advice but you don’t care. Your going on this free trip.