Saturday, April 1, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceI’m seriously confused about how to keep dating interesting

I’m seriously confused about how to keep dating interesting

I’m probably too harsh on myself, but for example I live in a medium sized town in the U.K., with a shitty ‘city’ where the girl im possibly gonna meet again lives.

Now we went bowling and for a drink at one of the better bars, obviously what matters the most is the individuals, aka me and her, but I can’t help but to think how stagnant it may become, or at least that’s in my head.

Like how many times will we go bowling and for a drink to most likely the same place before it gets boring?

This is freaking me out. Another thing is conversations – now it’s all fresh so we have stuff to talk about, but later on? It will all become predictable, to an extent, or repetitive/monotonous.

Any advice or help?

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  1. If there’s genuine interest, and you’re genuinely interested in each other, I promise the other stuff like what you do and where you go matters less and less. Focus on the connection first, the rest can fall into place.

    Also, don’t plan on it being stagnant, negative mindset can be a self fulfilling prophecy.

  2. Well, I’m I mean if you really like the person and they really like you, and I mean there is some serious spark going on, it won’t matter what you are doing or where you are as long as you are with that person. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to really connect with a person, and this is where having interests or hobbies in common helps out. You do those things as a couple. I don’t know what to tell you if your interest is watching TV and her interest is rock climbing, it might not work lol.
    As far as the conversation, again, in my opinion, if there is mutual connection and spark, what can you NOT talk about? Current events, your dreams, philosophy, the type of day you had, sharing stories from your past, discussing art, literature, sports….having a debate or a time where she teaches you something new.
    Dating is not like a series of items on a checklist that you work through in order to have sex. Dating is seeing if you like spending time with them, then it’s more time spent together to see if the mutual attraction can actually be built into something that can get down the road.

  3. My partner and I lived together pretty much 24/7 for 4 years. We both work now, but I can safely say we’ve never ever run out of things to talk about. If you love someone, spending time with them, despite what you’re doing, will bring you joy.

  4. That just all sounds like regular ass life my man. Life is long. Things are going to get stagnant in some areas. Passion will burn hot and cool down in repeat. That’s why so many people chase the new and exciting. But new and exciting has the exact same pitfalls as the old. That’s life. Just roll with it and do what feels right in your heart.

  5. Jesus Christ, dude, get past the first date before freaking out about your “relationship” (that doesn’t exist yet) getting stale.

    Second, *you* are the one already making it boring in your fantasy future. Don’t be so boring; problem solved. Take up more hobbies. Plan travel (you can get lots of places with a fairly short train ride, mate).

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