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Married colleague tried to force himself on me. should I tell his wife?

So that’s basically it. A married colleague tried to force himself on me. He managed to kiss me on the lips, neck, cleavage. Touched my breast and butt. Forced me to touch his hard dick. But I managed to push him off before he can take off my clothes.

I don’t really know what I should do. Some are telling me to file a police report but I think I will feel guilty if this turns into a big deal as well. The most that I want right now is to be removed from the project we are working on together AND tell his wife about what happened.

However, I’m still on the fence about informing his wife as well. As I feel like their marital issue is not my problem. What do you think?



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16 COMMENTS

  1. >should I tell his wife?

    YES!

    >Some are telling me to file a police report

    Those people are correct.

    >The most that I want right now is to be removed from the project we are working on together

    Sounds like a report to HR is in order then.

    “The TRUTH shall set you free!” -Jim Carrey

  2. It is a big deal. He will continue to get away with sexual assault. You can sue the company if you complained, and they have done nothing about it. Inform the police and company HR instead informing the wife. She’ll find out then.

  3. Even if you don’t want to press charges, for goodness sake, file a police report. Someday when this man rapes somebody, this will show he has a history of aggression and help him to not get away with another sexual assault.

  4. Depending on how good hr is at your job…. perhaps consider filling a report even if just for a paper trail. HR is there for the company and may try to minimize the seriousness or may just not handle the situation properly.

    Why feel guilty? If anyone tries to guilt you report them for creating a hostile work environment. No one with common sense and morals will blame you.

    There marital issues aren’t your problem. And by telling the wife you aren’t involving yourself in their problems, do not worry about getting into their business. You would simply be providing his wife information. If anything it is ur coworker that made you an unwilling participant in his marital issues, so he has only himself to blame.

  5. I’m so confused. If he forced himself upon you then that’s sexual assault, why isn’t your primary concern reporting him to the police and HR? And why would you feel guilty about him facing the consequences for his actions?

  6. This has to be fake. ‘Sex attacker assaults me and tries to rape me, but I dont want to make it into a big deal’

    If this is true.. get professional support, consider reporting it to police, repory to your boss so that he can be fired, or leave yourself. Do not do nothing and work in the same place as your unreported attacker. Your safety is more important than a rapists reputation.

  7. File a police report sooner rather than later. You don’t have anything to feel guilty for. Reporting what someone has done isn’t ruining their life, the actions they chose to perform ruined their life. Furthermore this guy has probably done this to plenty of other women and will continue to do it if you don’t take action.

  8. I can only emphasize that all the comments so far are right.sexual harassment is NOT a small thing. You need to defend yourself and with your action of reporting him to HR and file a police report you will probably protect other women.

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