Sunday, March 26, 2023
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My (18m) gf (18f) cancelled our date to go to a party by herself

Title basically explains it. We try to hang out a few times a week but she has cancelled last minute twice this week because she was busy.

We still had our weekly Saturday date scheduled but today she told me she was going to a party instead and couldn’t wait to get wasted. She didn’t invite me and honestly I’m not interested in going with her at this point anyways.

Why would she cancel 3 times in one week? Should I just assume that she’s not interested in dating anymore?

TL;DR: gf cancelled our date to go get shitfaced at a party by herself.

EDIT: I wasn’t expecting this to blow up like this. I can’t respond to every comment but I promise I’ve read every one. Thanks for the advice and I’ll let you guys know how it goes.

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  1. Honestly, to hell with all of these people saying that you are insecure and being over dramatic about the whole thing. You had something planned. That’s the bottom line. It’s shitty of a person to cancel those plans to go to some party and get “wasted.” I’m sorry, but 18 year olds are still adults. If I liked my bf, I would much rather follow through the date that was ORIGINALLY planned then getting crunk at some sloppy random party. Reverse the genders in this post. I bet you everyone would be calling OP’s boyfriend an asshole and saying stuff like queen you can do so much better; But just because it’s a woman trying to have some fun, she is always in the right to do whatever. Touch grass with that. OP find a more classy gf. The one you have still wants to be single unfortunately.

    But before any of this I suggest you talk to her about it. Really. Is this a common reoccurrence?

    To all of you who have claimed that you wouldn’t care if your partner canceled on you to go to a party WITHOUT you to get “wasted”; check yourselves. Y’all are capping hard AF and it’s hilarious.

  2. OP, ask her where she stands when it comes to you two.

    Is she ready for a serious relationship or do you just go as friends instead?

    In a relationship it has to be 50/50, you can’t give more or less without it breaking or arguments will occur.
    Communication is the big key in a relationship and even if it makes you anxious or nervous, you two need a talk about where you both are.

  3. She doesnt respect you or your time. Just tell her you arent compatible and move on. Find someone who will respect and value your time. She clearly rather go out and entertain other people. Not worth the headache and what ifs on what could be going on.

  4. Your not a priority. Or she’s interested in someone else. Or shed rather be in her own or feel single again. Who knows. You need to have a discussion with her. Also during this discussion don’t beg, or come across as needy. Know your worth. If she really doesn’t value you then move on with your life. Your 18. The odds that you stay with and marry this person are astronomical. So if she’s not into keeping dates then why try?

  5. Take the time to enjoy a hobby, or hang out with your friends. If anything nefarious is happening, you’ll find out eventually. Sometimes people need to do things on their own, that includes you. I’m 48 and have pretty much seen it all. No point in getting anxious. She’ll either be faithful, or not, and there is nothing you can do, other than leave when you find out.

  6. She’s canceled three times because there’s someone else in the picture. You have become her backup plan when she bored, broke or lonely. You’re no longer a priority.

  7. What the actual F? Yall saying to break up without even asking whats going on. A bad week maybe? Time for herself maybe? Sure the OP os supposed to be invited and lack of communication is pretty common at her age. TALK, COMMUNICATE, EXPRESS YOURSELF, SAY HOW YOURE FEELING, GET A COMMON GROUND. If both of you fail this is just a matter of time for you to start a non trustable relation wich leads to a failed one.

    Get your head on place, face the problem and adjust with what you have, and if necessary, then, breakup.

  8. She is 18 dude. You all are all still trying to figure yourselves out. Don’t put to much mental
    Energy into what teenage girls do. Enjoy your youth and don’t stress over that shit.

  9. The relationship is already over. You aren’t even on her list of priorities at all. I’ve been married 15 years and still wouldn’t put almost anything over a scheduled date with my spouse. Find someone who is actually into you!

  10. Need more information, how long have you guys been together? Is this behavior new or has she done this before? What is the rest of your relationship like? Honestly only you can decide how to feel about this, maybe she just needs a little space, maybe she is getting tired of the relationship, just talk with her and tell her how you feel. It sounds like you both reall need to listen to each other and figure a way that both your needs can be met.

  11. Dude! I had something similar happen to me only with a female friend. She would constantly lie about her being busy with schoolwork only she would be always partying in order to hide how she wasn’t interested in a friendship with me. Work on yourself king it’s not worth the stress trust me.

  12. While I would not suggest that you indulge paranoia, it seems as though she may be trying to demonstrate an image of singledom when she is out, which could mean that she may be planning on cheating on you, or she may have decided that she wants out of the relationship and lacks the necessary respect to tell you. My advice is to ask her why she is doing this to you. If she won’t explain herself, or you feel that she is not being forthcoming with the truth, end things and find yourself a lady who intends on cultivating trust and respect in a relationship.

  13. Talk.



    No one here can explain why she’s cancelled on you. No one here knows what she’s feeling. Only SHE can tell you that.

    You’re 18. This is the first of many difficult conversations you’ll have in your life. Learn how to handle them NOW so that when you have to have a REALLY difficult conversation later, you’ll know how.

  14. Sorry to hear that your lousy girlfriend continues to bail on you constantly. I don’t mean to be blunt but it takes two people to make a relationship work. If she’s bailing on you, either call her out and see what lame excuse she gives you or ignore her for a few days to see if she comes to you. Either way, I think you’re wasting your time on this silly bitch based on her actions.

  15. I would either talk to her or just walk away from the situation. She will talk to you and try to fix the situation if you’re important to her. She’s not respecting you or your time by constantly cancelling plans last minute. Her priority seems to be partying, and she’s not inviting you, so she probably wants to appear single.

    It’s not your fault man. Find another girl who is interested in being your girlfriend.

  16. The right thing to do when plans are made is to follow through, or just not make them if you’re not sure. She needed to communicate with you better. People usually plan out dates, and to blow off something you were looking forward to and preparing for was inconsiderate of your feelings. It’s okay for her to prefer being with friends sometimes; what’s not okay is agreeing to spend time with you and flake on you.

  17. Just ask her. It may just be that she’s got a lot on at the moment – when I was your age, I was juggling school/college, a part time job, family plans, friend plans, plus a boyfriend who lived in a different town, and it was really tough to fit everything in. Plus it was hard on our relationship because he had a lot less going on (no job, his parents were way more chill about not seeing him much), so he didn’t like that I couldn’t find more time for him.

  18. Ok what da actual fuck is happening in this sub?!

    No seriously, you hangout 2-3 times EVERY FUCKING WEEK! she couldn’t hangout because she had work and unless you are the “popular guy/girl” you dont get invited to a party every week!

    Geez cut the girl some slack! Everybody here is accusing her of cheating just because they couldn’t hangout for one week! ONE WEEK!

    >Why would she cancel 3 times in one week? Should I just assume that she’s not interested in dating anymore?

    Everyone wants to loosen up a bit after a tough week. I saw another post telling you to talk to her but dude don’t even bother. Don’t even assume anything. It was just one week plus she did tell you she was going to a party and get wasted. She didn’t lie to you about staying home or not feeling well like most cheaters do.

    And these people really need to use their heads

  19. You do dates every Saturday? At 18?

    When i was 18 I definitely would have wanted to be able to go to friend’s parties and those happen on Saturdays.

    Talk to your gf before you get yourself into a tizzy about her missing some dates. If she’s had a busy week it’s pretty natural to want to blow off some steam at the weekend. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, but she’s allowed to have wants and needs too.

  20. Bro dump her immediately! She canceled on you twice and wants to go to a party alone to get wasted? Hell no dude. Get rid of her asap. She has no respect for you at all. No quality girl likes to get wasted at parties alone. That’s insane and unacceptable and worthy of a break up.

  21. I have to assume everyone replying is about 15 years old cause like wtf? It’s normal to want time away from your partner, it doesn’t mean she’s cheating or not interested anymore, it could literally be that she’s just not entirely feeling it this week and wants a bit of me-time. Does she usually go to party’s and get trashed? Or go out with her friends without you going with? Or just generally spend time without you when she doesn’t have to work/do homework?

    Listen most of the issues that come up on this subreddit could be solved if people just communicated, and that’s exactly what you need to do, sit her down and tell her “Hey babe, it was pretty upsetting when you ditched me last week for that party and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay and that we’re okay” cause the mind set of “She changed plains and didn’t want me to come with i.e she’s cheating and is going to break up with me so I’ll just dump her first HA” is the beginning of some toxic bs.

  22. My man, you are young. Many people hear will tell you to dump her instantly, that she is definitely cheating, or getting drunk just to cheat on you with other guys.

    Fact is, nobody here knows anything specifically about you or her, so don’t take their dumb, inflammatory advice. Even if any of that is the case, ask her. You are in the right to be sceptical, but just assuming things will not help you grow as a person.

  23. Focus on yourself my guy she’s going through the party phase and your prob gonna get your feelings hurt and plus that environment just gonna send you down the wrong path for awhile might as well stay clear

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