Friday, March 24, 2023
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My boyfriend (38M) cheated on me (35F) and asked for a break update

TL;DR: I found a video of my boyfriend celebrating with another woman on her birthday. When I confronted him about it, he asked for a break. I am all over the place – I know.

Update: Thank you all for commenting on my post. I appreciate the uplifting comments. Those made me very happy. [\_advice/comments/yecagq/my\_boyfriend\_38m\_cheated\_on\_me\_35f\_and\_asked\_for/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](

I am not ok. I am still hurt and angry. For those that are wondering, We’ve briefly texted. Yet, I feel like I am desperately seeking his attention. I call but he doesnt answer. Yet, he will text me. So, It hurts. I hardly eat and sleep. I am sad. Some days when I am home, I cry. It hurts Just thinking about her, him and the post. When I am at work, I have to act ok. I don’t want to be sent home for this issue because then I will be thinking about it.

I’m sure some people why I am so fixated with him. I know there are other men out there. I opened my heart to him. I did alot for him. I went out of my way for him. When he needed me, I was there. I seriously love him and thought that we can work through our problems. Yet, this avoidance thing hurts. One day, I will be strong to overcome this. One day, I will be able to wake up and not feel like crying. I will eat and I will fall asleep early. Sadly, that day is not today.

I have looked for some therapy spots. They can be expensive. But I will go to therapy.

Sorry if my update is disappointing.

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  1. You’re grieving the end of your relationship; all these emotions are completely normal. Try to keep friends and family around, and find things you like doing to pass the time – learning a new language or playing the piano will keep you too busy and engaged to think about your ex. Therapy is also good, and if you think it could work for you, there are online options that are often cheaper. If you feel like venting, r/survivinginfidelity and r/SupportforBetrayed coud also be helpful.

  2. One day at a time. That is all you can do.

    It is painful, but you need to have respect for yourself. This man doesnt deserve you and he doesnt treat you as you should.

  3. You two dated for 3 years, that’s a long time. A part of you will always love him.

    It’s not easy to magically forget about him.

    The best thing you can do is respect yourself. Recognize that these feelings are valid.

  4. I know it hurts a lot and it might feel at times like you can’t even breathe. But trust that time heals all wounds, it always has and always will.

    Give yourself time away from him and learn to love and respect yourself once again. I know it’s hard and you might not feel like leaving him completely is the right choice as you replay good memories and moments (I’ve been where you are now). But people are never the ideal person we make them out to be, and it’s healthy to understand that.

    A person who betrays your trust does not deserve to be on a pedestal in your mind. Bring him down and take steps to move onwards.

  5. I’m sorry you’re hurting. I know it’s hard .

    I’m still stuck on my ex and how she also betrayed me and slept with the one guy she told me not to worry about. I tried to get past it and couldn’t. She destroyed our relationship cause she minimized my pain and didn’t even try to give me any emotional support for what she did.

    All she did was say, ‘at least I was honest ‘

    I say this maybe it’ll help. Even though I think my chapter with her just finally closed after she saw me go on the trip we planned on doing together, by myself, she completely withdrew herself from my life.

    As much as I wanted and hoped things would be different. She lost me.

    She destroyed our relationship when she slept with that guy. She couldn’t maintain it cause she couldn’t do what she needed to to fix it. She let it die because she couldn’t hold herself accountable for the hurt.

    She lost me. It’s what I tell myself every day to try to let that go. I still fail that some days.

    But I know in my heart that she lost someone who loved her and thought the world of her and she will not replace me and the way I showed her that love.

    Even though she couldn’t show that love in return, it doesn’t mean I’m unworthy of love.

    I hope you can tell yourself that he lost you and build yourself up and know in your heart you also deserve love and you’re worthy of better.

  6. You need time, time away from him and time to establish strong boundaries to rebuild yourself. You listed all of the things you did for him and the relationship. Now list out what he’s done, how he’s reciprocated. As hurtful as it is, use that to remind yourself why staying with him is toxic to you and your self-esteem. Trust me, you will not think of him in the same light after you read that list over the next few months to a year.

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