Saturday, April 1, 2023
HomeRelationship Advicemy boyfriend blames me for his cheating behaviour

my boyfriend blames me for his cheating behaviour

Apparently I found screenshots of him sexting another girl, and I confronted him. He says it’s because of me and I was the reason he did it. I confronted him today morning

So a little backstory – He had a group of girl friends and it was all fine but then he told them that we broke up and had a thing with one of his girl best friend. So I confronted the girl and now the group of his girl friends aren’t talking to him because he lied to them.

He is blaming me for it, and now he’s sextiing random girls and sending his nudes to them. This has hurt me a lot and it feels like I will have to deal with this forever. I really loved him, I left everything of my own and came to another country to be with him.

He isn’t even guilty of his actions and blames me for everything, he tells me I’m the reason and that I should’ve given him space, space for what? To cheat on me more ? I don’t understand how he blames me for his dickshit behaviour and I have my exams coming up.

Sometimes I feel like I am the reason he cheated

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  1. You are not the reason he cheated; *he* is the reason he cheated. He chose to cheat on you. *Why are you still with him?* You deserve better. Being single is much better than being with a cheating liar.

  2. Do yourself a favor and break up. I know thats gonna feel like the end of the world but once youre entirely away from him, youll feel better once that passed.

    He is manipulating you and he is gonna do this again and again. A person that chooses cheating over communication or breaking up themselves is a scum bag and does not deserve to be in a relationship.

    Free yourself and BLOCK HIM so you do not go back. It will only get worse and you will eventually have to break up no matter what.

  3. He knows he’s got you trapped in another country and so he holds all the power. Some people let this go to their heads and start being abusive. He is clearly one of them.

    He’s not a good person, you would be so much happier without him, that’s for sure. If you do have somewhere else you can go, I would strongly recommend telling him where to stick it.

  4. Why is he still your boyfriend?

    Are you ok with being cheated on? If so, then this is a nonissue. If you are not ok with being cheated on, it does not seem you are compatible because he has no problem cheating.

  5. Not only is he a cheater but he’s incapable of accepting responsibility for his own behavior. He did this, not you. Cut him loose and go rock your exams.

  6. That’s called gaslighting.

    Another persons choices aren’t anyone’s responsibility but their own.

    Leave now. Don’t look back. Plenty of men who want to be faithful with you. They’re just waiting for you to be single again.

  7. You are NOT the reason he cheated. The reason he cheated is because he’s a big jerk. He’ll likely always cheat no matter who his girlfriend is. I think your best bet is to leave his cheating ass asap and give yourself a brand new start in life.

  8. At some point the excuses have to end. Aren’t you tired of feeling drained and disrespected by the person who should have your back?

    We hold onto the potential of someone so strongly that we can go through life completely disregarding whether or not they actually want to be the person you believe they can be. We tell ourselves they will be better, that we will make them better, but we never question why we have to be the ones to obligate ourselves to push them into doing something that comes so naturally to ourselves.

    Stop questioning yourself while you know his actions are making you suffer. You know you deserve better and you have the rest of your life to explore that.

  9. Why do you still call this gaslighting, cheating guy your boyfriend?

    If the red flags were waving any stronger, they’d be leaving welts on your face…

  10. You are choosing to stay in this relationship and be unhappy. You have a choice to leave this abusive relationship and be happy, but you are choosing misery and are upset by your own choice to stay in this relationship. He is responsible for his own choices, just like you are. You are choosing this unhappy life, so that is on you. Him cheating is on him, those are his actions and it’s easier to blame someone else for them. Please speak to a therapist. You aren’t thinking clearly and really need one and some self esteem. You do not respect yourself and I can only assume you think you deserve this abuse

  11. It’s crazy that you have to ask others for validation. You already know that cheating is wrong, what your BF is doing is wrong.

    Leave him, your life doesn’t revolve around him. Dont waste precious energy on reviving a relationship that is already dead.

  12. You are not! You are so not the reason!
    If you can, leave him. The sooner the better, i was in an abusive relationship so i understand how hard it is. Dating a narcissist and a manipulator is really hard and can cause so much harm to your mental health. He is the asshole and you are not even a little to blame. I feel for you deeply and i am so sorry.

  13. I know its easy to say but hard to do especially when you love this person but run away. Men like this ( i married one) dont want to change or take responsibility for their actions and as long as you stay he never will. Its HIS fault for lieing and hiding stuff in the first place. In the second place YOU deserve better. Just think about it.

  14. You aren’t the reason he cheated in the first place but you’ll absolutely be the reason he *continues* to cheat. Because he can’t cheat on you if he isn’t in a relationship with you.

    Lose this giant piece of shit. Being single is better than putting up with this level of disrespect. Respect yourself Sis.

  15. You don’t understand why he cheated because he’s an immature douche who has no self-reflection, and you’re obviously an adult that has some awareness and accountability for yourself. Dump this loser.

  16. Did you hold a gun to his head and force him to send dick pics to other girls?

    Then no, you didn’t make him cheat. He’s just a lying scumbag who deserves to be dropped on the sidewalk with the rest of the week’s trash.

  17. I think many of the comments here will say the same, no one can make you do anything unless, maybe, a gun is to your head.

    Firstly, its time for you to focus on yourself. Partners like him can make you feel like anything they’ve done is your fault and make you question your own actions. Also partners can make you paranoid, which I imagine in this situation he probably has had red flags since you met him – gaslighting at its finest.

    In absolutely no scenario should a partner respond to being found out to blaming you. No remorse, no care for your feelings.

    Focus on your exams and leave this boy with his screenshots and sexts.

  18. Question, why are you staying with him? You can leave, you not “stuck forever” with him. Guy can leave him at any time. Look up sunken cost fallacy.

    He disrespected you, lied about you and to you and is blaming you for his own actions. Why would you want to be with someone like this? He does not care about you, leave

  19. Sunken-cost fallacy

    the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial.

  20. Confronted the person he was cheating with (who was lied to about his relationship status), then got back with the boyfriend, who blames his cheating on you so much that you start believing it.

    Is there anything worth saving in this situation, yikes

  21. Ah, yes, a keeper if there ever was one. Surely this won’t all come crumbling down in a great disaster. You seem to want to make this toxic relationship work, so have at it.

  22. I’m so sorry. I went through something similar. I loved a guy very much but he openly admitted to cheating and blamed me for it. It’s not your fault. It’ll be hard but you should run, you deserve better. In the long run, you will be happier.

  23. Never your issue because a guy cheats. He could have talked to you or even broken up if he felt he could not be faithful. People cheat for all kinds of reasons, their reasons. Get rid of him.

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