I (22F) made a similar post on this sub two days ago about my boyfriend’s (23M) brother (22M) having a crush on me and making me feel very uncomfortable. Since he uses Reddit often, I didn’t explain a huge part of what happened, but I honestly don’t care anymore even if he sees this since I am at a complete loss of words and I just need some advice.
Basically, my boyfriend’s brother visited a few weeks ago and was making me uncomfortable by being flirty and touchy. When he went back home, he had a few drinks and he sent our group chat a video of himself pissing, followed by a shot of his dick a few seconds into the video. This was sent over Snapchat, so he had the ability to delete the snap, but never did. He also never apologized for it and simply said “oops but my dick seems to be in the video lol” after sending it out. He claimed it was an accident, but he didn’t seem embarrassed about it, and Snapchat allows you to review a video before pressing send or deleting it, so I feel like he sent that on purpose. He had barely drank anything btw.
My boyfriend and I were disgusted by it, so he confronted his brother last night and told him that it made me very uncomfortable. His brother gave me a very superficial apology over text about how he has “poor social boundaries” that “get worse with alcohol.” I called bullshit since sending a video this disgusting is not just breaking a social boundary.
This isn’t the first time that he has done this. Last year, I was on video call with my boyfriend and his brother, when he showed us the shit he took in the bathroom on discord. I was disgusted and left the call, and so was my boyfriend. I have no idea how to mentally move forward from this, as I feel disgusted and ashamed to have ever called his brother my friend.
Seriously it sounds like your bf brother is either challenged in the IQ department or he has serious mental health issues going on.
It’s probably time for your bf to put him on time out and block him from the group chat.
Talking to him isn’t working because he just laughs it off then he is allowed to do exactly the same thing again because nobody does anything about it.
He’s behaving like a child so treat him like one.
You need to take this seriously. I hate being all “DANGER WILL ROBINSON” but, uh…Peegate. The entire Peegate saga. It’s worth a read, because it shows just how messed up a person who’d do this can be:
[Part 1, collected by BORU](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/rcnvol/the_peegate_saga_part_1_of_2_extra_long/)
[Part 2, collected by BORU](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/rcnwdl/the_peegate_saga_part_2_of_2_extra_long/)
[Part 3, collected by BORU](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/u0hngy/peegate_saga_newest_update/)
Your boyfriend needs to realize that this is a sort of “power play” by his brother, and it’s also sexual harassment. If your BF can’t stand up for you and tell his brother to screw off? You need to dump your BF. Read those posts. I am begging you to, because the situation sounds somewhat like what the poor redditor who posted about Peegate went through at the start.
You’re giving him the outrage he’s craving.
Block and ignore.
Honestly, if it were me, I would be removing myself from this situation. Your boyfriend is not being super helpful here. And why are you communicating with his brother at all, after the shit picture? I would cut them both off at this point, it’s ridiculous and deeply creepy.
You realize this is sexual harassment, illegal, and fuckin sociopathic, right?
What about your bf? Why does he make you hang out with his brother? Why didn’t he say anything when his brother was harassing you in person?
I’m not seeing much of a problem here. Block him, ignore him, and avoid being around him.
Block him on whatever platforms he uses, including his number.
Well why not make him really uncomfortable by letting him know that tomorrow you’re going to the authorities with the clip, as it’s harassment, it can be seen as an unsolicited text or media and are a form of hate crime or inappropriate correspondence (depending on your jurisdiction).
Even if you don’t, it’ll give him some “revenge” uncomfortable nights as every single time he gets a knock on the door he’ll think he’s got an invite to the Police Station to assist with their inquiries.
Keep the clip as your insurance policy that he never does anything like this again.
Have a good Sunday
For starters, block his brother on snapchat.
You need to have a talk with your BF. if he is as disgusted as you, he should understand that you do not want to associate with his brother anymore and it would, from then on, only on him to communicate with his brother. You remove yourself from all the chats with the Brother, and block the brother on all media.BF also needs to flat out tell him (maybe in the presence of the parents if they’re decent people) what a disgusting asshole he is to pretend to be this socially inept because of his immature crush on you. Because all it did was make you think he is a disgusting pig and that you rather not communicate with him anymore.
BF also needs to step up on confronting his brother whenever he makes you uncomfortable when you all are present at the same gathering
Brothers a fuckin creep and should be outcast from hanging out with that friend group.
“poor social boundaries”
“get worse with alcohol.”
considering those are his words after basically sending you a dick pic, sounds like you don’t want to be alone with him ever.
Blockity block block.
Yuk, your boyfriends brother is at least trying to break up the relationship between you and your boyfriend.
I’m not a violent person but the first remedy that comes to mind: a couple of large bricks with your boyfriends brothers dick/balls between them. *WHACK*. He’ll never come near you again. Ever. And he is forever in pain when he sees you or thinks of you.
But that might be a bit overkill and probably somewhat illegal. I think you should explain to your boyfriend that you don’t want to be near his brother again for the foreseeable future. Take yourself out of the equation. Every time he gets your attention, he wins. Then block his brother on all possible avenues of communication.
Or the bricks.
Ghost him. Block him on everything. He’s being an inappropriate dick and a bad brother. That mean if he’s around you are not. That simple. Keep that up for years if necessary.
Next time it happens, replay, screen record, take it to the cops/his mother.
Your BF’s brother is some mixture of autistic and sociopathic. He is also sexual harasser and with behavior like this, he is at a high risk of committing sexual assault if he hasn’t already.
Your BF needs to step up and never let the brother be around you. This is unacceptable and he is failing as a partner by not making sure this person can’t ever contact you or be around you.
It is only a matter of time before this dude commits a physical assault. This is extremely deviant behavior that will escalate over time.
Your boyfriend’s brother has to be on the spectrum with behavior like that.
*“oops but my dick seems to be in the video lol”*
” looks like you licked all the orange powder off that cheeto”
He is an alcoholic who enjoys upsetting people with disturbing anti-social behavior. Not a good combo. It is unlikely to improve unless he wants help, and I would never count on that. He is also counting on the fact that he is a sibling that he can’t be cut off.
Your boyfriend needs to decide if he can separate from his brother. Don’t engage in games as some people are suggesting, that’s what the brother wants: attention. Exit all group snaps and family message groups, or block the brother. If your bf isn’t willing to go that far and draw a hard boundary- (ignore block and disengage) then you have a bigger problem. You should not in any way be communicating with the brother.
Simple, you need to cut your boyfriends brother off, completely. Clearly he is very immature and socially inept. Also inform your boyfriend you want nothing to do with him. Also get off the group chats you share and block him.
Bro has a piss and shit kink
Your bf brother got a lot of issues. Since your bf has notice that, it’s better to stay away from him. I’m just hoping that he won’t ruin your relationship with your bf.
i read this as “passing” lol
I get that same type of video from my brother in law all the time.