Friday, March 24, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceMy coworker is always begging me to take her shifts at work

My coworker is always begging me to take her shifts at work

Basically I have off tomorrow.

Today is my 7th day in a row. I wasn’t supposed to work Yesterday, today, Friday and last Friday. My coworker called me through facebook to ask me to work tomorrow. I tried telling her no. I told her I got added shifts this week. I told her its my first full day with my husband in a long time besides when i took vacation in August.

I told her this. If I go tomorrow its my 8th day in a row. She basically tells me “I will buy you lunch” “Its a short shift only 6 hours” “you are only working 5 hours today”

Thats not the point. Seriously I want a day with my husband. She doesn’t like closing and opening. Now her dog is sick and she doesn’t want to leave the dog alone. I am not the only worker in the store. She calls out and I will get called in. I do not win. I just want to spend time with my husband for once. What do I do? I tried in the past saying no. I tried this and that. But nothing seems to work and I am at my wits end.

Edit – Thanks guys for the advice. Shes also been asking for too many rides to go halfway to her house (which is far for my husband and I) and I am going to stick to saying no. I will try to not let her bully me into working for her anymore.



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34 COMMENTS

  1. NO is a complete sentence.

    If you don’t go in, what happens? It falls on her right? Don’t go in.

    Stop being so nice over someone who doesn’t care about you & the fact you said no.

  2. Stop answering her. Block her so she can’t contact you.

    Why do you feel like you should say yes? You absolutely don’t have to.

    Just stop having her as a friend on Facebook. She’s a colleague not a friend.

  3. >I tried telling her no.

    Don’t try. Just, say no.

    “No, that isn’t something I can do.” Don’t negotiate with her, just say no. “I’m not able to take that shift. Good luck.”

    Or don’t answer her calls.

    If she ropes in your boss, say no and that you already told her no. “Rosemary called and asked me already, I told her I was not available.”

    >I tried in the past saying no. I tried this and that. But nothing seems to work

    How does it not work? You start with ‘no’ and then what happens?

  4. The conversation should be pretty short: Coworker: Will you cover my shift? You: No. Coworker: It’s only 6 hours. You: No. Coworker: Come on, you only worked 5 hours today. You: no reply…turn off phone and go back to sleep.

  5. Reinforcing what others have said about sticking to “no”. So far, her experience with you has shown that a “no” from you equates to “you just need to continue pressing it until I cave and give you your way.” I may be reading into things, but it sounds like you may be a bit of a people pleaser. Getting comfortable saying no and holding firm on your boundaries is an important skill to leading a happy and fulfilling life. There is power in “no”, and every person should learn to take that power for themselves. Good luck to you.

  6. “Hey, can you cover my shift tomorrow?”
    No.

    “Hey, your coworker called in sick, can you come in?”
    No.

    “Hey, I know it’s your day off but…”
    No.

  7. Surely they can’t force you into work?

    Tell her no. Say that it’s your final decision and you don’t appreciate her trying to bully you into covering for her. If your employer calls, let them know you have personal plans with family that can’t be changed.

    F her!

  8. **Act your wage.**

    Don’t go above and beyond for work (your bosses, your coworkers) expecting that you’ll get rewarded for the effort when you are a minimum wage (or close) employee. Especially if you’re in a non-career position. Maintain as healthy work-life balance as is possible.

  9. She’s asking you because you’ve said yes in the past. Unless you have a close personal relationship with her, stop answering her calls unless you want to work.

    You’ll feel good setting this boundary and it will help you realize that you can.

  10. This isn’t about work, it’s about the fact that you can’t speak up for yourself or hold a boundary. This will affect your whole life. Patrick King does good books.

  11. Everyone calls you because **they know you won’t say no**. And if you *do*, it’s a wishy-washy no *at best* and they know they can pressure you into finally saying yes.

    When you stop saying yes all the time, they’ll turn to the next sucker in line and leave you alone.

    Stop listing a million reasons why you ‘don’t want to’ and simply say ‘No, sorry, I can’t.’ When you give them a reason, that’s an invitation for them to counter your reason with their *better* reason why you *should* work for them. They’ll compare your reason to theirs and insist that *theirs* is more important. Stop doing that. You don’t owe *anybody* an explanation for why you don’t want or can’t take an extra shift. **It’s none of their business**. Stop behaving as though it is their business. Here’s how this works in practice:

    Coworker: Hey, I need you to work my shift for me tomorrow.

    You: No, sorry, I can’t.

    Coworker: Why not?? My dog is sick and I need to stay home!

    You: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that but I can’t work tomorrow. Hope your dog feels better soon. I’ll see you at work next week.

    And then – here’s the really important part – **you stop responding**. Don’t answer the phone and don’t respond to texts, sm messages or any other contact. If someone like your boss or supervisor really presses you for any answer you say “It’s a very personal reason and your inappropriate pressure is making me uncomfortable. Please stop.”

    If you don’t draw the line and refuse to let people cross it, you have no one to blame but yourself. And I can tell you with certainty that people close to you will begin to resent your inability to say no to others. Because ultimately, you are saying no to *someone*, whether it”s saying no to your husband’s request for some time and attention or saying no to your coworker. If you keep saying no to the people who actually *matter* to you, just so you can say yes to random coworkers, your important relationships will eventually pay the price.

  12. Say no and let her call in sick. She knows she’s taking the piss and by speaking to you personally she’s bypassing the managers that would give her the boot for this repeated behaviour.

  13. The problem is you’re trying to be a people pleaser, end that. When you say no. Mean it. And don’t reply any further. Eventually they will stop counting on you. Block her if you must.

  14. You can’t get called in if you don’t answer the phone. And then you tell them you turn your phone off on your days off. If she does ask you to cover her shifts and you agree, tell her you will need her to come up with half of your hourly rate out of her pocket to add to your normal rate to equal overtime.

  15. like …. what? if you’re old enough to be married than this is just embarrassing for you to be honest. Say no? She wants a shift covered? No. They call you in? No. She wants a ride? No. Its a fucking store. A store. you’re not exactly saving lives. Say no. Nothing “works” because they can just ask you and you cave. Like what have you tried? Because it sounds like you just say yes every time they ask? Just say no, and mean it.

  16. Say ‘No’ to either her and your workplace. If she calls out it is not your problem to fill in for her if your workplace calls. Just say: “Sorry but my day is already planned, besides it’s my first day off for over a week.”

    That co-worker is calling you specifically because you don’t say no to her. And buying lunch doesn’t cut it. If you take up her shift, she has to take up one of yours – that’s how such things usualy work.

  17. Time to stop being nice.

    “I need to rest, I worked 7 days, I will go insane if I take your shift, so it’s not going to happen”.

    Don’t even let her talk about her dog. You’ve discovered the truth, that she doesn’t want to work openings or closings.

    Your manager has probably noticed this trend as well, which is why she’s been scheduled for it.

    Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

    And no, a lukewarm sandwich does not make up for a lost day of rest. You literally can not claw those hours back. Sleep debt is real, and it SUCKS.

    She calls out.

    Manager calls you. You let the phone ring.

    One of my friends stopped me from answering the phone once when I was very young. He told me they were calling me because I was the youngest and least experienced, and that you don’t always have to answer when work calls.

    My hair went half gray before I turned 23.

    Time to cut her off. She’s not a friend, she’s not even really a coworker. She’s a sandbag.

  18. Start charging her to ask. You owe me $5 for an answer. The second time is $10. Then tell her no. Then every time you see her , ask for your money.

    You annoyed me? Heck I will out annoy you!! Ah ha!

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