Thursday, March 23, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceMy (f22) dad (50) checks me out and makes me feel very...

My (f22) dad (50) checks me out and makes me feel very uncomfortable. Do I have good reasoning?

My dad has always gave me creepy vibes. But yesterday, as I walked away, he full on stared at my butt. I was completely grossed out.
I’ve noticed him look at my sister too in a sexual way.

Every single day, he NEEDS A HUG. I hate hugging him! It doesn’t feel right. Also, he needs to say “I love you” every time I leave or I hang up with him on the phone.

He acts extremely smiley and strange. Then, if something (that’s NEVER A BIG DEAL) gets him mad, he will flip out and scream in my face. He will ask me why I bother to come over (I have no where else to go). Im pregnant and I told him that screaming is extremely bad for the baby and could cause him stress, but he says he couldn’t care less.

I know if I bring it up that he makes me uncomfortable or that I don’t want hugs anymore, he will go CRAZY screaming at me. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

do you think I have good reasoning for feeling this way? And how should I go about this??? I don’t want my baby growing up with a creepy grandpa…

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  1. Unfortunately I think it’s worth keeping your distance.
    Statistically sexual abuse happens most in families and not by strangers.
    He sounds like his has emotional control issues across the board.
    Anger – sexual – attachment issues etc.

    Protect your child
    From the what could be’s if you have concerns.

    Speak to your dad at a distance or write him a letter or something. Perhaps it’s a huge misunderstanding, but who knows.

    Maybe he’s struggling to come to terms with you as an adult and not a child etc.

    Could be completely innocent misinterpretation or something..

    But if he’s an angry hot head which I am too btw, he will need time and space and probably a prewarning that a discussion about his conduct takes place

  2. What a sick fuck, I’ve known a girl I’ve worked with since she was 17 and now she’s in her early 20s, I’m 6 years older and couldn’t imagine seeing her in any other light than a kid, she isn’t even my blood and I don’t see her as a sexual being, she gets hit on daily, yet I just don’t see it, she’s a little sister to me, what in the fuck is wrong with this cunt to see your daughters who you changed nappies as a baby as anything but that is just fucked up.

    Keep an eye on your sister and go NC with this asshole, do not ever trust that fucker and stop giving him hugs, tell your mother/his wife about this and don’t let them dismiss it.

  3. Read a book on psychopaths like Dr Hare’s books to see if your father has any other personality quirks like a psychopath. That creepy smile could be “duper’s delight,” which is one, and leering at his own daughters could be another.

    You might have to make some effort to avoid him.

  4. Stay away from the pervert and stay somewhere more safe than with creepy dad (I really hope he isn’t the father of your child as he seems the type to do such a thing by force usually). I would go NC and depending on the age of your sister let CPS know he’s an incestual pedo checking out his underage daughter.

    I would see if your mom or family can deal with this pervert too. Good luck and stay safe.

  5. Based on what little we can know from this post, I think part of the problem is that you expect him to care when called out due to a sense of shame or empathy.

    Is time to accept that he doesn’t have it. You need to figure out consequences. This is like training a dog. No hugs for the foreseeable future, period. If you feel disrespected you leave immediately. When training, the most important thing is consistent and immediate consequences. When he crosses a line you tell him, and then you leave. You state your boundaries, then you enforce them. No questions, no discussion. This is a game to him and you lose just by playing. He is counting on your sense of patience and decency, and probably guilt, to get you to give in. You need to stop letting him do this.

    Put up some boundaries, make them absolute. He so much as touches that line, you pull the plug on the interaction.

    Don’t play the game anymore.

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