Saturday, April 1, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceMy (f24) bf (m23) has made it clear how selfish he is

My (f24) bf (m23) has made it clear how selfish he is

We have been together for 5 years and live about 45 minutes away from each other. One of our biggest downfalls in the relationship is communication.

Honestly, a lot has happened in the 5 years that I have finally realized now is not normal for a relationship, or for a girlfriend/partner to deal with. For example, on a road trip with friends I’m not close to but he is, he pretty much abandoned me and I sat alone in the back while he sat in the row in front of me with 2 girls (he calls them his sisters). Another example is he likes to get into strangers cars. He told me to get over it and deal with it as that’s just who he is. He said he likes meeting new people. I did try to explain how dangerous that is and that it scares me, he doesn’t care. He pretty much says that’s who he is and I should take it or leave it. More recently, my asthma has been acting up quite the bit and I’m currently taking inhalers for it. He knows this but still vapes around me, despite me asking me many times not to. He pretty much tells me to get over it and to just move away from him if he’s vaping… but he vapes mainly in my car. Another situation occurred at a casino when he was cashing out, I was giving him the money I won to put in his wallet. I told him that I would lose it and he should put it in his wallet. He did it happily and then randomly was yelling at me in the car saying that I embarrassed him as a man by doing that in the casino.

I can’t name one time where he tried to take care of me or held me if I was crying.

Is it worth trying to talk to him about it? What do I do?

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  1. Youuuuuu *leave.*

    Talk to him about what? How he’s constantly ignoring your physical, mental, and emotional health in favor of his own desires? And how he refuses to change and instead insists *you* change? To accommodate his disrespect and constant boundary violations?

    Talk to him about *what,* honey?

  2. I need to take a break from this sub. I feel like I’m doomscrolling the same story over and over: doormat of a partner wonders if she/he should stay/put up with a selfish partner with overinflated ego, abusive behaviors, and a grandiose sense of entitlement.

    Read what you posted, as if someone else had written it. What advise would you give that person?

  3. He isn’t going to change. He is getting what he wants and doesn’t care how you feel. That’s who he is. You can only control yourself and you need to gather your self respect and kick him to the curb.

    You might want to get some therapy to 1) figure out why it took you 5 yrs to figure this out and 2) figure out why you are even contemplating staying. He is worthless as a partner. Find someone that actually validates your feelings and acts upon your concerns.

  4. What are you getting out of the relationship? From your post it’s not a thoughtful partner or someone who sees you on the same level.

    Time to walk away. If you’re seeking company then maybe take up an activity you enjoy and connect with some new people.

    Your physical and mental health have only things to gain. Be kind to yourself, know this isn’t for you and let him go.

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