My granny met a boy I liked, he’s M21, I introduced him to her. When he left my granny started giving me advice on my sex life, My 90 year old granny gave me advice on my sex life, she told me not to have sex with him before I’m his girlfriend for at least 6 months, and to use protection and that’s it’s important that I be careful, cause I’m the one in trouble if not, she goes “ You should be the one carrying the condoms” she said she doesn’t want great grandchildren. She told me to make him wait for it, and not to let him have access to me to soon.
She called birth control my responsibility, she was like “I’d pay for it for you, I don’t mind” “I don’t want you pregnant or in an abortion clinic” “If you want to go on the pill, or get the coil tell me”
Then she asked me if I had sex with him and I said no and she said “Good girl”
I told her I was going to go now, I was like “I have to go now, my crush is sitting in the car waiting for me” and she goes “we’re here talking about sex and he’s probably sitting in the car thinking about having sex with you” “He’ll be waiting a while” “behave yourself and be a good girl don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” “I’ll see you tomorrow before you leave” and she hugged me and kissed me. The she goes “Only let him hug and kiss you, nothing else okay”
The I saw her the day after and we were talking and she goes “did you have sex with him last night” and I said “No” and she goes “Good girl, I can’t keep telling him he needs to look after you and not break your heart and then have you giving him access to your body way to early”. “you have to be 100% sure he’s the one before you have sex with him” “Don’t shave it all off down there either, he can deal with a bit of hair, it’s not his body, it’s not up to him, it doesn’t matter what he prefers when the time comes” and I said “Wow” and she goes “Your my girl, not his” “It’s important that you know that and he knows that”. Then she goes “I got something for you” and she gave me condoms and told me to make sure I use them with the right person.
Is she crossing the line and going overboard, it does make me uncomfortable, should I tell her that it’s none of her business and not to have conversations like this again, is she a bit to protective of me?
My F90 year old granny was asking me about my sex life (F20)
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Your grandma seems cool
A little bit awkward, but she’s got your best interests at heart.
Enjoy your time with her, you’ll miss her when she’s gone.
your Granny cracks me up.
One day your granny will not be with you anymore and you’ll look back on the time she got you condoms and remember how forward thinking she was and how much she wanted you to be able to live your life to the fullest. She sounds like a great woman – make the most of her while she’s with you because one day she wont be and you’ll miss her.
Let me ask you something. Is there anything in this world your GMa would like to see you fail at??? I’m betting the answer is a big NO, she doesn’t want to see you fail at anything.
Let’s say you’re meeting her in the neighboring town and being the punctual person she is, she leaves 15 minutes earlier than you do. Halfway there a storm has washed out the bridge. Now GMa who cares deeply for you, calls you and tells you to take a different road because the bridge is washed out. Does this make your GMa smarter than you? NO it doesn’t it just means she has been there and done that and she has your best interest at heart so maybe you should listen to her.
That is a cool grandma, she knows that you will eventually have sex, so she is just making sure you are safe. My great grandma died when I was 26, and she was the coolest person, I hung out with her multiple times per week, and she gave great advice, those old people have seen some shit, they are wise, listen to them!
Your grandma is a saint. Listen to her advice, it’ll save you a lot of trouble. Also consider that men have changed too since your grandma was young, he will be expecting to have sex and if you don’t he’ll think you’re not into him. You need to tell him in no uncertain way what’s happening
She makes you uncomfortable, cause probably no adult in your life had had a sex talk with you before.
This here, is a great sex education, much better than to be expected from her generation.
If course, the part about waiting is outdated, but you should wait til yoh feel you want that.
All the rest: talk about protection, offering to pay for the protection, even giving yoh condoms, so you don’t need to buy them, explaining that your body is your to decide when it comes to shaving and so on. All of that is what parents and grandparents would be teachibg younger ones. She does it clumsily, but she is 90. If you are ready to have sex, you are ready to have a sex talk with your grandma 😀
If you feel that’s enough just tell her next time she asks ‘granma, I would like to keep my sex life for myself from now, thank you for great advices. For now we will use condoms, I will look into other methods later, so no worries, no grandchildren coming’
Your story is actually really sweet and made me smile reading it. I don’t think she’s gone overboard, at the end of the day it’s your life and you do what you want and I’m sure she knows this but she is talking from a place of experience, care and protection. You’re 20, an age where you’re old enough to know these things. However nowadays, for every 20 yo that practices responsible sex there’s just as many people older that don’t and have to pay the consequences – unplanned pregnancy, people using them or manipulating them for their bodies etc. From a 90 year old’s perspective you are a baby, HER baby, I don’t think that comment of “you’re my girl, not his” should be taken to heavily. In her eyes until a man does prove to be able/willing to carry out the job of protecting you she probably feels that’s still her job.
Trust me when I say you’ll look back in a decade with fondness towards what your grandmother was saying. Hell maybe one day you’ll be a grandma and have the same talk.
Im f21 and honestly? Grandma was spitting facts! If you want a strong relationship with him, listen to her advice. She has your best interest at heart
Granny knows what’s up. Yes, it is awkward, and the world (and relationships) doesn’t work as it used to, but she’s being open minded and supportive. Damn, I wish my mother had discussed contraceptives so openly with me!
You can talk to her and let her know that you got the message and appreciate the love this comes from but it is a bit too awkward. Prove to her that you take the risk of pregnancy seriously and are taking precautions, and hopefully she will drop it – but bear in mind that at 90 there’s not much that will make her shut up if she doesn’t want to!
Honestly, what a wonderful grandma. I wish I had this guidance. No one at all told me and prepared me for anything.
It may be awkward but she honestly means well. I think by 20 you can be mature enough to have this conversation, she is genuinely looking out for your best interest and she is spot on with the advice!!!!
Cherish her. What a gem to speak so candidly with you!
Info-dump granny, I friggin love it!
Your grandma was in her 30s in the 1960s, grandmas nowadays were free spirit love everyone hippies generation. So a sex talk shouldn’t be surprising now that you are an adult.
You rambled on a bit but your grandma sounds pretty cool.
She loves you and she’s doing her best to make sure you’re safe. She’s not even giving you incorrect information. You’re an adult and should be able to talk about sex without getting embarrassed, if you can’t handle a frank discussion with with Grandma, you probably can’t handle a frank discussion with a potential partner.
Your grandma is incredible. Open up to her. She’s frankly giving you some incredible advice. She truly cares, and doesn’t appear to be getting judgy, just giving it to you straight. You are an adult now, and this is an adult conversation.
An older parental figure is giving you figurative and literal tools in an attempt to protect you and your future, as awkward and poorly phrased as it may be. For all you know it could be giving her purpose and life to be able to do something like this for you. Tell her you understand and appreciate her love and intentions, but state your boundary if you want her to stop.
I kind of love your granny
Granny knows what she’s talking about.
Your grandma is cool, if the exchange was a little awkward and youre not used to talking about sex even with older folk, she’s very supportive and seems to really love you. Chill out
I mean she’s being pretty wholesome, alittle awkward but very supportive and probably wants you to not fuck up or something
I mean, I wouldn’t call it crossing a line. Thr way I see it, your grandma is just looking out for you and actually right. Nowadays people are so quick to have sex, I’ve even heard confirmation from many that sex right away is a “interview” to see if they do want to date you, which I can’t believe folks follow that. It’s no mystery why so many people ghost or gaslight because sex is given up way too fast when people are really trying to find a lasting relationship.
We’re in a hookup culture, so if your grandma knows that or not well she is on point on just giving you advice. She also isn’t wrong, I hear more stories on this subreddit alone of men that aren’t putting condoms on, or aren’t taking all precautions to avoid pregnancy so she’s just looking out for you is all.
If it makes you uncomfortable then tell her, next time she brings it up tell her that while you highly appreciate her making sure you aren’t getting duped, that you’ve taken everything she said to heart so you’d just prefer to keep that subject closed for now. Nothing wrong with telling her you got the point and that you just want to talk about memories
Your granny has sound advice. Weird probably but she’s not wrong. Most guys are irresponsible and you would be suffering any consquence whether it’s a pregrancy or std/sti. Any guy that wont wrap it isnt woeth you time.
She isnt some stranger. She is your grandmother imparting wisdom gleaned over 90 years of life. She wants the best for you and you would be wise to consider it.
Based on what you described, it didn’t sound like she gave you a single piece of bad advice. Maybe you should pay attention.
She knows some shit, because she’s seen some shit.
Sounds awkward, but honestly, it’s good advice, even if a bit outdated. There is nothing wrong with waiting a bit before having sex with someone. Sounds like your granny cares about you.
Chica, your grandmother is GOAT. She’s looking out for you. Cherish every moment you have with her. Sure, the chat is awkward, but she ain’t wrong.
It sounds like all the advice she’s giving you is because she doesn’t want to see you get stuck in a position that you didn’t want to be in, and it probably comes from a place of personal experience. This woman is 90 so she has plenty of experience with life in general. She’s seen a lot in her years and obviously cares about what happens to you. I would let her say whatever she wants and take to heart what you can. Follow the advice when it applies. Her views on sex may be a *bit* old fashioned, but she’s honestly not completely wrong. She just wants you to take care of yourself because she loves ya!
I hope you see the humor in your story. But I feel for you I’ve had some awkward convos with extended family and my only advice is to listen to it with a grain of salt. I’m not the type to stop someone and tell them I don’t like what they’re saying so I sorta just make a joke out of it in my head but still sit through what they’re saying.
Your grandmother is right
Respect to your Granny