My friend keeps going after men who are in relationships and I’m finding it hard to have any respect for her

1. People like Monica get their self worth by making people chose them over their partners i.e. ‘I’m better than gf at xxx which is why guy 1 chooses to cheat on gf, because I’m better!’. It’s really sad and pathetic. You deserve better friends.

2. To be honest, your whole friend group seems to be trash. They are either cheaters or openly supporting cheaters. Does your boyfriend also support this girl cheating?

   I would just Walk away from this whole Mess.

3. She’s obviously not a good person so you should drop her sooner than later.

4. you can tell alot about a person by the company they keep. Your friend is a terrible person and you do yourself a disservice by continuing to support/condone her behaviour by keeping her as a friend.

   Drop her, and call out her behaviour to those affected, she will keep doing this until she destroys your social circle.

5. That type of friend will eventually go for your man at some point. Cut her off now before she tries to hurt you.

6. All of you are messy. You know she goes after other ppl’s bfs but you don’t tell the girlfriend? And the girlfriends are also apart of the friend group. Yuck. And it low key sounds that you hit your tipping point because you’re scared you’re next. Ugly look.

7. Omg I had a friend just like this for 20+ years. In my late 20s I started really seeing it for what it is and had zero respect for her. She would also try her thirst moves on my bf all the time, also pretty convinced she really did have feelings for him. Her favorite thing to say was”I can do it better then the gf can”. Pure trash with zero morals or self respect. Drop that friend immediately she’s toxic and will more and likely make moves in you bf eventually.

8. >I started disliking her after this incident but surprisingly I was the only person in our group who was against this relationship, all our other mutual friends told her to enjoy this feeling and that it’s not her mistake, it’s his.

   I can tell you that your friends are tasteless swine. Time for a new friend group. Stop hanging out with scum.

   >Then a year later, a new guy in our group kissed her when we were drunk. His gf is our friend too

   If you have some corroboratory information, then tell her.

   >She used to tell me she feels unsafe with him,

   That was a lie. Trying to cover up her guilty conscience.

   >I have just lost all sympathy and respect for her at this point. Whenever my bf hangs out with her i can’t help but think she’s gonna hit on him, i mean everyone likes her.

   Until they actually get to know her and figure out her charm is only skin deep and she’s unstable, selfish, and manipulative underneath.

   >She’s pretty, she’s smart. She was raped a few months back

   Or so she claims. I don’t want to sit here and potentially blame the victim, but we’ve established a history of lying, conniving, and selfish behavior so who knows if this is true. I’d like to believe her but I don’t know if I can believe. She should ask somone for sympathy whom she hasn’t lied to on several occasions.

   >She has a lot of problems in her life

   Many of them either self-inflicted or else made worse by irresponsibility.

   Understand when some given person enjoys life chaos and is getting an ego trip from it.

9. This is all gonna be okay for you until at some point it’s YOUR boyfriend or husband she wants to screw

10. Your friend is toxic and crazy, but that doesn’t mean you are a good person, you thi k being rude is a personality trait, like come on.

    You also saw her do all this shit, even to your other friends and didn’t do or say anything, you are toxic as well and a bad person. I wouldn’t wish you as a friend ever.

11. Never understood posts like this youre basically saying your “friend” is a complete pos so what exactly do you want us to say? It’s common sense kick her ass to the curb and never speak to her again

12. Monica needs a good therapist/ doctor for her self-esteem and you need better friends!

13. I wouldn’y have any respect for her either, and it’s completely okay to remove someone who adds this sort of discomfort into your life.

14. This girl is toxic. Stay away.

15. If she was raped, her behavior may be an added indication of hypersexuality or her trying to reclaim her sexual comfort, but you did say she was doing this two years back. She needs help, and it seems like none of your friends or anybody else can see that. And honestly, these ‘friends’ of yours don’t sound too great either, supporting and enabling her to help hurt other girls and destroy relationships. I would also have a serious conversation with your bf about it. I think you need to have one last serious convo with Monica about her behavior and your concerns, and basically distance yourself from her and your other friends and try to rebuild a new friend group outside of them.

16. Used to have a “friend” like this. My husband was single for years before we got together. She showed no interest in him. As soon as it became common knowledge that we were in a relationship, she was all over him. He ended up having to very bluntly tell her she was acting like a cat in heat and to stay away from him. We are not friends with her anymore.

17. From a moral standpoint you should not keep this person in your life. She is knowing doing something bad. However as most people can only see things through their own lense. Imagine you had a boyfriend, is this the type of friend you would want around him.

18. This poor woman is a mess. Beyond the recent rape, there may be more history there. She may think that she does not deserve her own relationship. I’d get more of her history.

19. You know that means she will go after your man too.

20. You are really strong. You are not chasing your deadbeat ex for money. It’s impressive.

    You do not owe Chris anything, so don’t feel bad about telling his wife .

21. I have an acquaintance like that. I generally ignore her existence. She’s the daughter of a family friend so I can’t just pointedly ignore her. It is what it is.

22. Don’t compromise your values and it is possible that distancing from her will actually help her. She and hopefully others will see that her actions will get her ostracized.

23. Thats not a friend..

24. Drop her and if I was you I’d call her out and same goes for the guys in that friend group who’s cheating on their girlfriends with her, my god I would have dropped her ass a long time ago and told the girlfriends

25. She has no morals. She will do it to you, it’s only a matter of time.

26. She’s doing it to others she will do it to you. Let that go

27. You need to hang around better people. Simple as that.

28. I’d get rid of this friend, as she’ll screw you over if given the chance. Why would your relationship be any different to her. She takes what she wants.

    That being said, it kind of sounds like you might need a whole new social circle. They don’t sound like the most mature lot. Oh… I looked back at your ages, and I see why. Still, gravitate toward the mature people. Good, solid, kind-hearted people are out there, even in their early 20s, even if they’re still in their party phase of life. Get closer with those folks and move the messy ones into the outer limits of your social circle.

29. I had a friend like this. She was addicted to the adrenaline rush cheating gave her, and felt like if she could take a man away from another girl, that it must mean she was prettier, sexier, better in bed, more desirable blah blah blah than the gf.

    She liked bad boys, and if we tried to advise her against dating someone, she’d say she was an adult able to make her own decisions and if we were any kind of friends, we’d support her.

    When the guy would inevitably break her heart as we predicted, she’d want to cry on our shoulder and said if we were any kind of friends, we’d support her in her time of pain instead of saying I told you so. But she kept doing the same thing over and over.

    And then she asked my bf out, in front of me.
    There’s been a bunch of other drama, and I had enough and stopped being her friend.

30. I didn’t even get a chance to finish reading and just had to say that soon enough, she will be ‘going after’ your partner. If your morals do not align then go your separate ways. You have tried to be a friend by sharing your discomfort with this behavior. Do not be surprised when the next in line is your partner.

31. She’s still young, so can’t judge her too hard but her choice to do this 3x with the same outcome… That’s questionable. It sounds like she feels superior to women, wants to compete with them and trusts men who end up objectifying and betraying her. If she wastes time in this self-destructive manner she can only get so far.

32. Cut her loose. One less person in her fragile support group.

33. I can definitely understand your frustration in this situation. Having been a victim of sexual abuse myself I can see where she’s spiraling deeper and deeper into someone she’s going to hate if not already. I’d never risk my relationship with my friends by even thinking of hooking with one of their boyfriends. Keep it cordial and keep it moving. Get a few laughs in here and there but never anything excessive that will upset my friend. This girl desperately needs to seek a therapist that can help her resolve her internal issues otherwise she’s going to mess with the wrong person and f around and find out, ya feel me? I know you not want to be friends with her anymore let alone be seen with her but giving her one last little kick into that direction maybe will be exactly what she needs to stop this cyclone of despairing self-hate. She’ll wake up one day and thank you for looking out for her as long as you did. But remember you don’t have to stay after that what happens when you did is her decision and shouldn’t drag down as long as she has. Also get a new friend group for the love of God. If they are comfortable telling her to do that with their other friends bfs, they’ll be coming after yours next. And trust, they and he will be dealt with if it comes down to it.

34. It’s sad, really, because this screams out that she has some real problems. Maybe she’s a pure narcissist or sociopath, maybe she deliberately targets people in relationships because she’s afraid of forming one herself, I don’t know.

    But given her past? How can you possibly, for even a split second, trust her not to hit on your BF? Yes, yes, I know, trust him blah blah, but you sincerely think she might try. Do you want to be friends with that person?

35. I just want to know…. Why do you care about her relationship with many men? Do you have feelings for her or something? If you don’t like about who she is, maybe you should end a friendship?

    By the way, I don’t like Monica. I think she was disrespectful. I don’t want to friend with her. Forget her and move on. No more dramas in love life. Just saying.

36. All of you are seriously lacking in the morals department. You might be slightly better then the rest of your “friends” but not by much.

37. Isnt respect a important part of friendship?
    I suggest you stop being friends

38. It’s very difficult to have respect for someone who has no respect for themselves.

    Time to find a new friend.

39. the fact that you want to distance yourself from her only because you’re worried she’ll go after your boyfriend says a lot about you

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