Thursday, March 23, 2023
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My girlfriend kissed a bouncer last night and I’m not sure how to feel

My girlfriend (21F) and I (21M) have been dating for nearly 2 years with a break in the middle, last night we went out to a bar for halloween with her friends and both got fairly drunk. When we left the bar at last call her friend realized she had left her vape inside but the bouncer wouldn’t let us back in since it was too late in the night. We then left to get food from a nearby shop but my gf and her friend ended up walking back to the bar to try again to get the vape back while we waited for our food. By this point the vape had been found by security and they gave it to the bouncer, when my gf asked for it back he said he’d only give it back to them if my gf kissed him so she did.

Obviously the bouncer was in the wrong for taking advantage of a drunk girl but she still kissed another guy over a $30 vape that didn’t even belong to her. We got in a big argument where she blamed her decision to kiss him on childhood trauma but we ended up agreeing that arguing while drunk wouldn’t be productive. So now I’m sitting at home and I’m really not sure how to feel about the whole situation. If anyone has any advice about how I should be feeling or what to do it would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: my girlfriend kissed a bouncer to get her friends vape back and I’m not sure how upset I should be.

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  1. This whole situation was unnecessary. She should have ditched the vape pen and moved on. By the time it got back to her, someone else could have already used it. More than someone else. It’s unhygienic.

    Anyway, that bouncer is the definition of skeevy. He’s done this before. The fact that your girlfriend went along with it is just collateral damage to this entire messed up situation.

    Break up with her.

  2. Oh my god I’m so sorry but this is one of the funniest posts I’ve read in here for a while. Cheating on you for someone else’s vape then immediately blaming childhood trauma? Come on, man.

  3. she cheated for a vape, she isnt a trustworthy person, she would of probably fucked the guy if it was for a phone, dont stay leave her your young and can get someone who wouldnt fuck around for a fucking vape

  4. Straight to the trauma …. looks like that’s her fallback to anything you are gonna have a problem with …

    If it was her friends vape why did she have to kiss him , why not the friend …. Oh bouncer didn’t want to kiss friend then buy a new vape and report him to management in the morning.

    Nah bro her decision making skills are non existent so time for a new GF

  5. At the very least she’s pretty trashy she kissed a guy for a $30 vape when she’s in a relationship and then used her “childhood trauma” as an excuse leave her man plenty of much better fish in the sea

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  7. She very clearly chose a $30 vape pan over your 2ish year relationship. That’s enough said. No trauma would force you to kiss someone over this, and drunk actions are sober thoughts. The second she kissed him it was over. Likely the second yall took a break the relationship was over but that’s not what this is about.

  8. Remember buddy, being drunk isn’t an excuse. Your girlfriend cheated on you, as easy and clear as that. You got cheated on for a $30 vape, if i was you, i’d 100% let her go.

  9. Very creepy behavior from the bouncer. But, with that being said, this situation would cause me to seriously reconsider the relationship if I was you. All it took was $30 (and not even hers) for her to step outside the lines of monogamy. What might happen if she’s drunk and meets a very rich guy at some point in her life? And he offers her a substantial amount of money to sleep with him? Would you trust her to say no?

  10. You should be feeling pissed off. Honestly a stupid thing to do and a stupid excuse. You should break up with her. Over a fucking vape that wasn’t hers she broke basically the number one relationship boundary and acted like it was no big deal.

  11. I know how to feel for you. She gotta go. Her accountability level is toddler tier. She’ll probably use the same excuse when she blows some guy on accident. Do yourself a favor and get out while you aren’t married and don’t have kids. Adjust your standards and boundaries to not tolerate bullshit like that and you will be better off

  12. If it was a $60 vape that actually belonged to her what would she be willing to do? Ffs have some self respect and leave dude. Everyone saying she was drunk and got taken advantage of, if I can’t trust my partner to not willfully kiss people when she is fucking drunk then she is not getting drunk or we’re breaking up wtf??? If you can’t still respect your relationship while you’re intoxicated you shouldn’t be in a relationship or drinking. And the childhood trauma is some cop out bullshit, if the trauma is preventing her from enforcing normal relationship boundaries, once again she should not been in a relationship and should see a therapist. Trauma isn’t a fucking get out of jail free card.

  13. This is the most Gen Z story I’ve ever read on this subreddit. Look man, your girlfriend is in the wrong and you have every right to be upset. If I were you, I’d talk to her about it and see if she’s repentant – if not, then it’s time to decided whether you stay or go.

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