Sunday, March 26, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceMy girlfriend was sexually assaulted on a night out.

My girlfriend was sexually assaulted on a night out.

Warning controversial opinion.

I’m dyslexic as fuck so sorry for errors grammatically.

I’m 26M and my girlfriend 23F was sexually assulted 2 months ago, the shock has worn off and I’m starting to see the story in a different light.

For context; we’ve been family friends since I was 5, we’ve grown up together and recently sparked a blossoming relationship together. We’ve been seeing each other for about 6 months now.

2 months ago my GF went out with her girl friends for bottomless brunch. I was at a separate party and had plans to meet at the party after she was done. As the night goes on it gets to 11pm and still no text so I ask if she’s ok and what her plans are. She text saying she’s bumped into some old friends and the friends she was originally with have gone home. One of the old friends was her ex of about 4 years ago. Which she didn’t tell me at the time but I found out later on.

I was annoyed plans had changed so said enjoy your night you do you.

When I left the party at about 4am I called her to check again she was ok. And received the phone to her in hysterics. She had just been raped and could barely talk. A man answered the phone and said my GF had a bad night he was going to make sure she got home safely. This later became the hero of the story as he essentially stopped the assault by checking she was ok.


Her original friends left at 11pm and she stayed with her ex and his friends (no girls just 6 boys and her)

Around 3 o’clock the club shut and everyone was waiting outside for taxi’s.

3:30 Some gents outside the club were selling balloons and my Gf bought 3 for her, her ex and his friend. The dealer said he had run out and she should go to his friend in a car a bit down an alleyway. She goes and jumps in the car.

3:40 she’s in this dealers car and pop a balloon together next thing she remembers was the bloke on top of her.

3:50 a friend she made earlier in the night saw her go down the alley to get the balloon and decided to check if she was ok, saw what was happening and opened the door to his car and my GF got out instantly (this later became the man in the phone saying she’d had a bad night)

4:00 she went home to her ex’s house to stay and didn’t contact me about to let me know she was ok.

5:30 she stayed up for an hour watching Love island with her ex’s friend (personally I think that’s enough time to text your BF) might I add she did try to contact a coke dealer but I think this might have been a coping mechanism

She called me in the morning told me what happened and I Instantly went to pick her. We did the hospital and police routine reporting the crime and checking she was medically ok. She was fine however in the police report done the next day it’s seen in the cameras outside the front of the nightclub that she can be seen ontop of the man in his car.

I originally I thought the police lied but now I’m not sure.

Am I being a dick for not trusting her as she’s going through this trauma. Personally I think without the incident I can’t trust her. I was second best that night and was replaced with her ex. She has apologised but it’s not enough.

We’re due to go to couples counselling next month which I hope will help.

Thoughts what steps can I take to help her but also protect myself.

View Reddit by WonkysackView Source



  1. Lemme get this straight…

    She cold-dropped you to spend time with her ex, but doesn’t tell you it’s him.
    She purchased drugs to use with her ex.
    She did drugs with the drug dealer in his car.
    She winds up on top of the drug dealer, in his car, until someone interrupts.
    She went with her ex to his place to spend the night.
    She tried to score more drugs to use (as originally planned, with her ex?)
    She spends the night with her ex at his place, possibly with use of drugs.
    She tells you almost none of all ^that until the next morning.

    Sexual assault has to be taken seriously, but there’s enough shitty behavior
    towards you –from her end– to merit dropping her, if you like: you can still
    support her as a friend.

  2. Dude, whether she fucked a random drug dealer or she was forced, it doesn’t matter. She ditched you to hang out with her ex and lied to you about it, all before the event occured. That’s enough to break up with her

  3. I recommend leaving even tho what may or may not happened to her leave its for the best 1 you were to meet with her, She chose to hang out with her ex and his friends without informing you who she was with, Went and did drugs with them and then go down into a shady allie for more (weird police report btw) didn’t call or text you her SO to tell you how she was doing but instead stayed with her ex at his house. Better to leave the relationship not worth it.

  4. Dude, you break up with her: “I don’t trust you and I don’t trust your friends to keep you safe when you are out doing drugs and alcohol. By doing those things you put yourself in danger and I could not protect you from your own stupidity. So if you want to hang around with a bunch of guys doing drugs, you can. As of this time, I am breaking up with you for my own peace of mind.”

  5. I think the bigger issue at play is that your GF might have a substance abuse problem. Some people make some really poor decisions when drinking that much, especially if they’re combining their alcohol with other drugs. While the fact that she somehow “ran into her ex” and omitted that info from you is troubling, her other decisions are incredibly concerning.

  6. I really think you should get out of the relationship it all seems to be going down a negative path. Plus she was on top of him if she was that intoxicated to not know what she was doing she would be dead weight.

  7. Even whit a cold, I smell a rat. Could be just me but I’m personally finding it hard to follow this version of events. Somebody needs a boundary check and a lie detector test before I could stick around.

  8. Dude, dont be naive. Why the fuck would she go to her ex and watch love island wlth him, not telling any single F to you the whole night.

    Sorry for beimg a dick, but I would throw her and her “trauma” outta my house so she can work through that with that ex bf of hers. Im pretty sure the dealer was not the only dude who she was on top of, I would bet my arse on that.

    Being on top of someone while only using balloons is not assault, its called sex. Never heard of someone being raped on loons. The effect is damn short and imo its not like a drug where you forget what you doing. I only get a funny buzz and start laughing.

    She is selling you and the cops a false story.

    “Couples consulting” brooo… gtfo of that relationship please, I beg you….

  9. >One of the old friends was her ex of about 4 years ago. Which she didn’t tell me at the time but I found out later on.

    Break up.

    To me, this sounds like a more accurate story…

    She fucked the drug dealer either just because she could, or did it for drugs, and instead of admitting to cheating, she decided to pull the rape card

  10. Dude your chick is going down alleys to buy drugs and hanging out with exs. I mean no1 deserves to have happen what she experienced, but this whole situation could have been avoided with different life choices. I wouldn’t even treat a girl like this as a casual fling let alone have a committed relationship with her, but best of luck with whatever you decide.

  11. Jesus.
    You don’t need Reddit for this one.

    She ditched you, got railed elsewhere and now feeding you a load of crap. I am sure the cops chuckled about this “crime”. Probably watched tape a couple of times.


  12. Don’t marry and have children with this woman. You will regret it if you do.

    She will never tell you the whole truth, and if you stsy with here and find out years later it will ruin you.

    You have played the good boyfriend role now is the time to say that you didn’t see a future with her, you don’t want to lead her on so you think it’s best for you to speakup now and end it.

    If she pushes for more info tell her you don’t have the kind of feelings for her that will sustain the relationship and you both should move on. That’s it.

    She is going to want to stay friends, tell her that will be hard for you initially, you need space to get your bearings, maybe later on.

    You should definitely cut contact with her, do not reply if she reaches out. She will know you are not ready. Don’t give that up you should never be ready.

    This girl is shady as shit, how did you not see that?

  13. Unpopular opinion: if your SO wants to be out partying at 4am, especially without you, that’s a sign they should not be in a relationship.

    I’m not saying a man should tell their GF what they can and cannot do, but I am saying I wouldn’t date a woman who thinks it’s normal to be out with strangers doing drugs at 4am.

    I wouldn’t fault you for leaving her, in fact I’d recommend it. Nobody deserves to be raped if that is indeed what happened here. Having said that, it’s extremely easy to avoid the situation she was in and eliminate the possibility of being raped all together.

  14. Having read the story, I put it at about a 0.01% chance that she was sexually assaulted.

    Get ready to be gaslit in therapy 🙂

    P.S. 90% chance that she did something sexual with her ex too.

  15. I don’t want to victime blame but there’s no way she isn’t bullshitting you in some capacity.

    •She ditched you to hang with her ex (without telling you) and 5/6 other guys

    •Bought drugs for her and her ex (and 3 for herself and still tried to get more)

    •Willingly walked alone to a strangers car

    •Did DRUGS in the strangers car instead of leaving

    •A “friend” just so happened to see and go check on her?

    •Said friend didn’t “get her home safely” but to her exes house instead

    •Lied about the guy being on top

    •Went to her EXES to spend the night and didn’t notify you until the morning

    •Was stable enough in the mind to call her coke supplier

    There’s so many possibilities with what happened and you may never know, so many. You may never know if she was actually assaulted or not.
    But in either case, she’s proven she’s able to make a series of horrible decisions in one night, lie to you more than once, and make her ex a priority. Is that *really* someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?

  16. Wow I see so many red flags in this situation, she should have called you or the place immediately not go to her boyfriend’s house so from this story as a female it sounds like she got drunk or did drugs f***** up f*** somebody else then decided to go to hang out with her ex and then by morning I’m guessing she sobered up and freaked out and decided that she had to go through with a lie and then go to the police I really think that it would be in your best interest to leave her I’m so sorry to say

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