Sunday, March 26, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceMy girlfriends lesbian best friend grabbed my d*** when we were drinking

My girlfriends lesbian best friend grabbed my d*** when we were drinking

We were out drinking and came back to my girlfriends best friends apartment.

We’re all sitting by each other on the couch and I have my hands wrapped around both of them. There’s a blanket on us and we’re just talking. My girlfriend doesn’t mind that her best friend is all touchy because she’s lesbian and has only ever been into girls.

Well under the covers she starts rubbing my leg and eventually my D***. I immediately got up and acted like I needed to use the bathroom.

I didn’t want to say anything but I also feel like my girlfriend should know. I just know it’ll destroy their friendship.

We acted like everything was normal the next day and haven’t spoke about it since (2 weeks ago)

Edit: I’m also worried that her best friend will call me a liar and she might be inclined to believe her because she legit has only ever been with girls. No male hook ups or relationships. So her best friend might play it off like I was too drunk to remember and that I’m tripping. But I definitely wasn’t and I clearly remember

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  1. **Tell.** I would of said something the moment it happened, otherwise she will pull the “I’m lesbian, no i didnt, i would never, you’re mistaken, accidentally touched” etc ect
    But that’s weird, honestly. Even if my best friend was lesbian I wouldn’t really be ok with them being overly touchy with my partner. *Boundaries, people, boundaries.*

  2. Yes, tell your gf.

    That’s so far beyond any behavior you should ever have to endure. It’s so very egregious that it can’t be ignored.

    It might ruin the friendship, but your wife deserves to know who her friend is.

  3. She touched you in a very private and intimate place without getting your consent AND knowing that you’re with her best friend. So yes, please tell your girlfriend, and if she doesn’t believe you, I think you should break up with her too. Too often people are not believed about these things which is sad.

  4. >I just know it’ll destroy their friendship.

    This is not a consideration. She sexually assaulted you.

    > she might be inclined to believe her

    If your girlfriend trusts you she will believe you when you say you were sexually assaulted.

  5. Absolutely tell your girlfriend that you were assaulted by her friend and if she doesn’t believe you or turns on you in any way then you know she’s not the one for you.

  6. That was sexual assault. This is also how you figure out the lesbian friend was actually the bisexual friend. Not a fun situation to be in.

    In general, being gay does not excuse having inappropriate boundaries, nor should you get touchy with someone because “oh she’s gay she isn’t even interested”. Boundaries exist for a reason, it’s not only sexual. The conversation that should be had with your gf is that her friend is probably a lesbian leaning bi woman, and one who seems intent at breaking the two of you apart through sexual assault at that. This could very well cause their friendship, your relationship, or both to fall apart, but so can not saying anything.

  7. The way people don’t understand that men can also be sexually assaulted is baffling. Most of these comments are telling you that you should have enjoyed it, but it is absolutely NOT true OP, and there’s nothing wrong with you feeling disgusted by it. You are valid in your feelings, just remember that.

  8. Isn’t that sexual assault or along the lines of that? Fuck her! I’d file a police report over it. She can’t just grab your private parts and get away with it…

  9. Perhaps she wants your gf, her gf isn’t open to it because she is with you, so she is working on a threesome. I would just tell the bff in a subtle / not subtle way that you would never make out with a third person when in a relationship with your gf, and that you absolutely expect the same from your gf. You expect friends to be respectful of that.

  10. You need to tell your girlfriend. It’s already concerning you’ve waited two weeks. The longer you keep it from her the bigger likelihood that she will leave you for keeping it from her. Don’t worry about what her best friend may or may not do.

  11. Wow, good luck with the girlfriend! I’m sorry you had to go through this. I really hate when people say a man should enjoy being grabbed by a woman, or that’s every man’s dream. Um, no. Only if you’re messed up in the head. Everyone has the basic right to body autonomy and unless you invite someone to touch you, then it should be hands off!

    If you’re straight, gay, trans, whatever. Keeps your hands to yourself!

  12. If the genders were reversed, everyone would be up in arms and infuriated. It’s baffling how many people can’t see this is assault.

  13. Not invalidating your assault in any way, what she did is absolutely disgusting and I wish you the best for when you tell your girlfriend. I just thought I might provide some insight on the WHY a lesbian would act like a straight who doesn’t know what consent is.

    I had a friend who, when I met her, believed she was 100% lesbian because of past experiences with shitty guys. Then she started a sexual relationship with one our other (guy) friends because she was starting to question if she was actually lesbian, which then turned into an emotional relationship as well. She now knows she is bisexual but we have since fallen out of contact (online friendship)

    Could be that this chick was going through something similar and decided to experiment… just without the, you know, CONSENT…

  14. I would get ahead of it yeah, the friend starts to think your going to rat on her she might suddenly change the story to “oh he was rubbing my leg and groping me!” Then your side of the story gets less believable fast. It’s possible the friend may fess up to it as well but I wouldn’t count on it. I’ve seen comments on here saying that she may have been going for a threesome or poly thing, but regardless her intention this was the complete opposite way of doing it.

    Either way, whatever her reason of why she did it you rejected it, and she probably knows this could be bad news for her. Perhaps think of a way you can get proof of the friends actions, such as “confronting her” over text by saying you haven’t spoken to your girlfriend yet and just want to know her intentions. Let your girlfriend watch the interaction, worst case she denies it completely and you still look better for being the first to bring it forward plus your keeping everything above board. I hope things don’t get messy for you and hope to see an update that it worked out alright.w

  15. This has happened to my husband. Sexual assaulters can be anyone, including a lesbian. She sexually assaulted you. Talk to your girlfriend, be honest about how uncomfortable this made you.

    As someone who is part of the queer community, I have noticed there are gay men and lesbians who are no better than any hetero creeper. Gay guys grabbing my breasts, and occasionally I’ve seen lesbian grab penises. It consistently makes the individuals suffering the assault feel uncomfortable and unsafe, and most certainly not excited. Whatever her motives were, it was assault, and you deserve to be listened to.

  16. Could it be possible girlfriend already knows and was cool with it. I mean he did say he sat in between them with his arms around both under the covers. Just saying

  17. She sexually assaulted you, and you need to tell your girlfriend that regardless of what it may do to their friendship. And like some others have said, if your girlfriend doesn’t believe you or dismisses it of her friend just being touchy you should break up with her, male sexual assault is already trivialised by some in society and if youre gf is one of those people you need to get out ASAP. Also, consider going to the police, its clear cut sexual assault and that shouldn’t just be dismissed as a problem for your in group

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