I am SOOOO close to cutting my sister off but, I need to know if i’m overreacting here or not. SO. I just gave birth last week to my first daughter 🥹 Anywho, I had to have an emergency c-section which was literally one of the most TERRIFYING moments of my life.
This is where I think it started as my sister really wanted to see her niece be born but, unfortunately since I was emergency circumstances, they kinda rushed me out of my room and of course, nobody was allowed in the other room with me.
Long story short, Rain is here and she’s healthy but, my sister texted me today asking to see her, I put the camera on her face, she talks to her for a minute, whatever. Then, she proceeds to tell me how disappointed she was that she missed her birth and really wanted to get me a “push gift” but, “can’t” now since I didn’t “actually” give birth and had her “cut out of me” instead.
I was floored and literally just hung up and cried. I don’t even know what to say to her. I wanted to experience pushing so bad, i’ve already felt bad about my c-section. She’s a mom of two. One natural delivery, One csection. What do I do?
Ignore her hate.
Delivery is hard and painful, no matter if it comes out vaginally or cesarean. You *did* birth a baby. Ignore her stupidity and self-righteousness.
A section is so much worse… 6 layers are cut through and it can come with so many complications! I can’t give birth naturally and have had 3 sections (the first was incredibly traumatic I was in hospital for months). Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for it!
I hope you are resting when you can and enjoy your new little bundle x
Your sister is an awful human and a hypocrite. She also had a c-section, so in her mind did she only birth one child? Is the other child less in her eyes?
Your sister is a twat waffle. When my SIL had my niblings i was so thrilled and happy i wouldn’t have cared if they teleported out of her, lol. Having a c section was your BIRTH experience ffs! I wouldn’t let her near your sweet little one, let her miss out on all that deliciousness because trying to belittle your birth experience is shitty, ignorant behavior and your daughter deserves better! Congratulations and enjoy that baby!
A c-section is NOT the easy way out like she’s making it seem, and it’s especially hypocritical of her to even utter it when she’s had one too. You are no less of a mum and your birth was no less valid than anyone else’s. Congratulations on your lil sprout !! (My mum is my favourite person and I was an emergency c-section baby too – I’m in my mid 20s and I thank her every year and make lots of jokes about me being removed like a tumour – you’ll find those much funnier the further removed you get from your experience!)
Your sister is selfish. Ignore her and do you. Enjoy that new little love you have and don’t let your sis ruin this special time. Tell her you need some space and set clear boundaries and she can see her niece when you are ready.
WTF?! Correct me if I’m wrong,
– Did you grow and carry a baby inside of you for 9 months?
– Did you suffer through morning sickness and all the other delights that come with pregnancy?
– Did that baby come out of you from a space if didn’t fit?
YES!
Do not let anyone invalidate your birth. You were CUT OPEN for your baby to enter the world. That too unexpectedly. Instead of being worried about you, asking how you’re feeling and if your incision is okay she invalidates your experience and makes YOU giving birth about her.
Giving birth is not a spectator sport so her demanding to be there is selfish and disgusting. Treating you as an incubator rather then a human who just gave life shows her to be a vile person. Based on the comments she’s a hypocrite too. Is that the kind of person you want around your daughter? She’ll be passing on her toxic mentality.
Your sister sounds immature, selfish and stupid. I would end contact at least for a while.
I’ve had both and both are awful and both make you a mom. Is your sister only mother to one child since she had the other by C-section? What a bizarre statement from someone who has a C-section herself!
You can tell your sister she didn’t give birth to one of her kids either. So
Your sister is one of those horrible women who tries to gate keep child birth by treating women who’ve had c-sections as inferior. If you had to have an emergency c-section it was because your daughter was at imminent risk or injury or death, it wasn’t a “Wooo, I don’t have to go through regular labor” deal, not to mention, most women wouldn’t chose to have themselves cut open and the recovery can be even more difficult. Having a c-section doesn’t make you any less of a mom. You have a healthy daughter and that is what matters.
You weren’t overreacting, you sister was being a horrible sister, woman and human being. Let her know she can meet your niece when she apologizes, grows up, and decides to behave like a supportive sister. She’s probably been in some sort of toxic mom forum that taught her that you are less of a mother than she is.
I’d cut her off. That’s a horrible thing to say to someone
That’s an absolutely vile thing to say. Given that she’s had a c-section herself, she may be carrying some residual guilt or trauma about it, but that’s no excuse.
What a bitch. Wow.
I hate when people have this mentality, c section mamas are rockstars. I can’t imagine trying to breastfeed and care for a newborn with a fresh c section incision.
For what it’s worth, I think you are amazing!
Congrats. Love the name ! And your sister is sn idiot.
Your sister is a word that would get me banned. She is way out of line.
Congrats on your baby! Take care of yourself!
Sounds like she could be projecting some of her own stuff onto you, which is totally not cool. You did what was right for your baby, which makes you the best type of mom in my book. She should get you a “major surgery with my insides removed, piled on me, and put back in” present because you are an absolute badass.
Tell her you were going to get her a good sister gift, but cant now because shes not a good sister
PUSH her to the curb!
Your sister is unbelievable! You certainly did give birth to her! And it’s not like you fucking chose a c-section! And she also had one, so she’s a flaming hypocrite! Your sister sounds utterly toxic and you should cut her off! You’re not overreacting at all!
Don’t listen to her. It makes zero sense to say you didn’t actually give birth?? You literally had a baby, doesn’t matter how she came out. Having a c-section isn’t the easy way out of birth or anything. This wasn’t even your choice, it was emergency and she’s trying to make you feel bad about it?
Yeah, that’s cut off worthy. You gave birth.
And there’s no such thing as a “push gift”. She made that up to be cruel.
Birth is a medical event. It’s not a spectator sport. It sounds like it’s a good thing she wasn’t there. She’d try to be center of attention at your medical event.
There’s no reason to be feeling bad about C Section. You got your healthy baby – what else matters?
Cutting her off is maybe a bit extreme but you’re right to feel that she’s treating you unfairly. Tell her exactly how you feel about this, and why you feel this way. If she still wants to belittle you after that, maybe then it would be time to do something as drastic as cutting her off.
Yes you’re overreacting and probably hormonal and traumatized. Don’t make any big decisions for the next couple of weeks.
Congrats on Rain, beautiful name.
Don’t let her guilt trip you. tell her she’s an arsehole who should know better and you’ll be in touch when you’re ready to.
For sure cut her out of your life, don’t you dare to anything toxic like tell her she hurt your feelings so you two can work through it.
I have a bad comparison but it gets the point across. Ask her what is harder? To push out a big shit or have one cut out of you. Again bad comparison but if one Is harder than the other I think it’s being cut open.
Have her read through this thread so she can see how much of a hateful cunt everyone thinks she is.
Your sister is being cruel. Childbirth (no matter the method) is not a competition; a successful birth is all that matters. Recovery from a C section is oftentimes more difficult than a vaginal delivery. If it’s any consolation, recovery from subsequent C sections tends to be easier than the first one.
Anyway, you did a great job in the birth of your daughter—you have a baby, the method she made her entrance into the world does not matter at all. Enjoy your baby as you recover and put your sister on the backburner since she is trying to diminish your joy and make this about her. Newsflash—the birth of your daughter has absolutely nothing to do with your sister. Tune her out for now.
I might be too old, so I don’t know what a push gift is.
However, we people say toadish things, I like to help them analyze their own toadish thoughts out loud.
Example:
Her:
“….. since you didn’t *actually* give birth…”
Me:
Oh I’m sorry….what did I do? The hospital, my insurance company, and the mailman all think going to a hospital pregnant, and leaving with a baby entails “giving birth”. What do you think “giving birth is” and do we need to get you re-enrolled in high school health class?
Don’t let someone else take from your moment. You’re baby is here, don’t waste these moments being upset over foolishness. My kids are 8 and 5…. and I miss those snuggles. Now their feet stink and somehow someone has always lost the toothpaste.
Tell your sister she can keep her burp rag…. she’s got a bit of verbal diarrhea on her chin.
Congrats on your new baby, that you did in fact give birth to!