Thursday, March 23, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceMy(23m) gf(19f) told me she has a "tiny crush" on someone and...

My(23m) gf(19f) told me she has a “tiny crush” on someone and I’m so unsure how to feel about it.

I was facetiming my girlfriend a few hours ago and at one point she got a message and she started smiling and seemed happy, I asked her what she’s smiling about and she just tells me it’s “nothing”. I encourage her to tell me and she eventually says “I’m not ready to share.. I’m trying to figure out… something..” and then that it’s this guy Alex, which is a friend of her friend and they had been hanging out together the last 2 evenings. She continues to tell me that he’s very nice and that it’s comfortable hanging out together with him. I ask if they’ve been texting and she says not consistently, but that they have been talking throughout the day, but that it’s all been friendly and that they’re talking about common interests. After that, she tells me that they have a “tiny crush”. She said that she hadn’t progressed the conversation past friendly and casual, but states the reason as being that her friend likes him too. And the last thing she says about it is that she enjoys having him as a friend, and that she’s never had a platonic guy friend in her life and that it’s refreshing in a way, and that it’s probably “less of a romantic crush and more of a platonic crush kind of thing”.

I’m so confused.

TLDR: GF told me she has a crush on someone. I’m confused.

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  1. The concerning part is that she said the only reason she hasnt progressed the conversation past the casual friendly text is because her friend likes the guy too, not because she has a boyfriend. That kinda points to me that if the chance to cheat or leave you for this guy came available she would take it. She is also trying to hide it from you too, so try to talk to her about this again but it seems like she is hoping this guy becomes available for her.

  2. There are two parts you should focus on:

    1) The word “tiny” which means the exact opposite when used this way. If she had told you it was just a crush that would have been less worrisome. “Tiny” is “huge”.

    2) She didn’t say “I have a crush”, she said “they have crush on each other”, hence the feelings are mutual and they haven discussed.

    I don’t think there is much you can do here. She just gave you a heads-up of what’s coming. I’m sorry

  3. I’m confused too. You’re her boyfriend but she’s telling you she has a crush on someone else? It seems to me she’s trying to tell you she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend anymore. I would talk to her and tell her you are confused because you thought she was your girlfriend but she’s talking about having a crush on someone else and the only reason she’s not pursuing it is because her friend has a crush on the guy too. What about her not pursuing the guy because she’s with you? Just see what she says.

  4. You’re confused? I’m confused. She’s acting like a friend to you. Talking about a guy she’s ‘not consistently’ texting all day. Had a tiny crush and would definitely go for him if not for her friend. Dude, did she know you’re together? It seems she doesn’t know the protocol of exclusive relationship. Maybe it’s not clear to her. Better prepare yourself coz things are not looking good.

  5. Nothing to be confused about. She has a crush on another guy. She is not even trying to hide it. End of story. She will have fucked him within the week if she gets the chance. Platonic! WTF? There is literally nothing you can do to prevent it so I would leave her and avoid the humiliation.

  6. Ohh.. yeah she minimized that bit, oof I find that very concerning. However all of us get crushes, all of us. I have to ask how long have you been together and are you currently long distance? In any case be open and honest about your feelings on this and ask her to be the same. Hope it works out buddy good luck

  7. Does she know she’s your gf? Are you guys in an open relationship? It sounds like she’s talking to a friend about her crush. Or because of the open relationship, like you would be happy for her for meeting someone new.

    If the above scenarios don’t apply, you should feel like she’s cheating on you, or at least, trying HARD to open the relationship on her side.

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