Look Reddit I’m going to be honest with you I’m mentally challenged, I have 0 “friends” at all, I basically work and sleep… I meet a chick maybe 2 years ago… she seemed great, everything I needed, now I’m 2 years in and the abuse is getting worse and worse by the day… I’ve been abused by everyone my whole life from my mom n dad to random people, and now her… things were great until I noticed the “fights everyday”, she’s hit me… she screams at me everyday everything cuz “she’s hungry” or “cuz she’s angry”, it’s so outta hand… she says things that aren’t even true… she blames 110 % of our problems and her own problems like “depression” on me… she makes me feel like she hates me… and is using me… she dosent have anything… no job… no family… her mom is and always was really broke… like no food in the house… sometimes no power… I’m from a good family where I didn’t have to worry about anything like that… I’ve tried to leave her 5 times… and everytime she spreads all these lies about me… she posts year old convos like they where yesterday… she made 10 accounts in a day once to msg a chick I was talking too… saying all kinda crazy stuff… she won’t let me leave… but she treats me like her own punching bag… things have gotten really bad… I used to be happy loved the outdoors and working and doing things… I can hardly get outta bed anymore… I self harmed a lot in this relationship… and I’ve never even thought about that kinda stuff before… I really think this relationship is going to kill me… I’ve been thinking about taking my own life for sometime just to solve this once and for all… but I think about my dad and I can’t ever follow though with it… I feel completely helpless… and trust me it’s only getting worse… it’s a small town and I know she’s gunna act out the way she always dose… I have so many bills… that I can’t up and move and I can’t stop working… why can’t I just walk away from this person who is killing me inside out… Yesterday she made a huge fight over me asking for some respect… she “broke up with me” but non of it was real and she wasn’t even crying when I picked her up… yet I was contemplating on hurting my self and balling… I can’t take this anymore… she’s a heartless cold person… but my brain won’t let her go… I know I gotta get away before it kills me… but it’s such a small town she will ruin my name and the chances I have with anyone els she already has… I’m sorry for the long post but please I’m in desperate need of advise… I have no one to ask in irl… and I don’t think I’m going to be able to survive till Monday… I love you guys, Reddit was always the once place in this world i felt safe…
Please someone help me
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You gotta do what’s best for you man, get a restraining order. No one is worth physically hurting yourself. Narcissistic people are an evil breed
Call all the relative who lives someplace else and ask if you can stay for a while. Try to make yourself a new life there.
Are there any roommate situations that you could move into? I think it could be great for you to be surrounded by other people who are not romantic so you will have a little bit of help as you learn to be an independent person for the first time.
You being alive is far more important than working at some job. You do what you need to do okay?
Just fucking leave. The only thing she can use to ruin you are your own faults. If you’re as innocent as you’re making yourself seem just walk away and do not acknowledge her bullshit. Her pattern will follow her until she grows up, which might not happen.
Unless you can be specific about what she has on you I’m left to believe that youre young and overreacting to a situation that will bear no weight on your actual life. Please tell me, how old are you?
You gotta find that strength to leave. It might not be easy at first but it’s for the best. Don’t let her guilt trip you. 1 if 2 things will happen if you stay. She’ll either kill you or you end up killing her so find the strength to leave. People are going to talk about you even when you do good or bad. Don’t let that hold you back.
don’t feel bad!!people like her are VERY good at finding and manipulating people like you. you can work on fixing that later! in the meantime, get as far as you can, and please don’t believe her BS when she tries to get you to come back. just remember: this, right now, is as good as it gets with her. it will NEVER be better…..only worse! good luck!
Do you have any family or a social worker who can help you ? You are being abused by this person and clearly need help. If you are in the US, you can even call your local hospital and ask for resources.
You’ve gotta ask for the help though. Whatever it takes, you NEED to get away from this person. Otherwise you will lose yourself in this abusive relationship. Your life is too valuable for that.
You deserve happiness! Please try and get away
Dude!! Find it within yourself to make a change. You’re an adult. Who cares if she lies about you. She sounds toxic af and no one probably takes her seriously anyway. No one can get you out of this but yourself. I hope you gather up some courage and make your break. Maybe move far away and start over totally. Your life could be better, but you need to choose to move it forward. Best wishes!
Message me ?
Suck it up and do not initiate contact with her once you leave. Fuck her. A person like that deserves no explanation if and i think you should just up and leave. She acts out anyway so why not leave at keast your not getting abused.
Im sorry bud, but your a stronger person than i for sure. She would have” fallen down some stairs” already even if it is a single story house if that was me.
Also the fact your mentally hadicap and she is physically abusive should be enough to get her picked up my local law enforcement with some guranteed jail time. Not prison but long enough to find a new living arrangement.
And dont worry about no friends il be your friend. Msg me if you need to vent more. Also again FUCK HER!
So first and foremost, call someone that you can talk to. This isn’t meant to sound like a psa, but there are multiple help lines in your area that will talk you out of self harm and also help you deal with your thought that are darker than that. Second, you need to document the physical abuse. The tricky thing is, calling the cops without her knowing about it so she can’t turn it on you once she gets there. From that point on, domestic abuse agencies can help you with bother getting no contact orders, cease and desist orders and other things that will help you clear your name. Be strong. Once you get through this, you will be able to live your life again, keep that in mind when things get tough.
You need to get out of that relationship and then get therapy.
Once you get away, you can call the companies that you owe and work something out. They can be very reasonable once it’s clear they’ll get their money. Don’t let bills stop you from leaving.
If you have proof this is happening and the apartment is under your name and not hers also call the police and tell them she is trespassing. But before you do that you need to tell her you want her out she might refuse to leave and if she does call the police and ask them to take her from the property
Leave. Please. You deserve so much better and you’ll never find someone better while you’re with that trash can.DM if you need to talk.
Whatever happens after you break up can’t be worse than what you are suffering now. Even if she made up the most disgusting lies about you afterwards it is doubtful anyone would listen or care. The only power she has is what you give her. Change all your passwords, change the locks, don’t give her access to anything of yours. It sounds like this is worse than being in a foreign prison. What could she possibly do that would make your life worse? Any lies she tells will be old news pretty quickly if anyone cared anyway. Think of how lovely it would be to come home to a nice quiet home where you can do what you want, when you want in peace. You can shut out all negativity.
I don’t know what your challenges are, but if they don’t have any support groups for your issue locally, I know you could find many online. There are also many web pages/support groups for survivors of abuse. Talk to your supportive family members about this get their support. Call an abuse hotline and tell them what you are dealing with. Also speak to everyone you know about breaking up, and explain when it happens she is going to try to ruin you with lies. A preemptive strike so to speak. You are giving this person power over you, and you can end it now, and end the misery, or suffer for many more years and then end the relationship with the same threatened consequences. Get your family to help. Break up with her and have your family help get her out, or stay with them until she is out. Do not spend time with her once you end it.
Please update with what you are doing about this. I am concerned about you. Call an abuse hotline please.
Get a restraining order, file a complaint,Toxic women ruin good men too,you deserve much better than her maybe next time she tries and hit you just record her, because you can’t trust her tbh, she might try to file a fake case against you,so be safe please
I know how it can feel to live in a small town, but if you get out of the relationship and live your best life, people will see that you weren’t the problem. Even if they believe the gossip temporarily. We do all have challenges in this life but being abusive towards our partners (or others) isn’t healthy or acceptable.
You may have your own challenges but as long as you don’t go around harming others, you’re doing better as a human being than your girlfriend is.
Best of luck to you, I know it’s a tough place to be in.
The damage she can do to you after you leave will be temporary, it will blow over. Chuck her out and get a restraining order. Go stay with your dad, open up to someone who cares about you about what you’re going through. Get support from your family and if you’re able to, get a therapist. She’s not worth throwing your whole life away. You can leave her, you can make your life better, right now it’s scary and stressful so your mind makes excuses but none of those are real. Reality is you can have a better life but you have to initiate it by forcing her out of your life.
1. Start calling the cops so they will know what’s going on. If it’s a small town you could go there directly and file a report. Most importantly do NOT tell her you are doing this.
2. Part of being a grownup means we don’t care what others think as long as our people know the truth. If you don’t have people you should work on your interpersonal skills with a therapist. You desperately need a therapist for the self harm and depression you are feeling plus they can be a witness to the abuse you are suffering.
3. Do not let this woman interfere with your livelihood. Keep her out of your home starting immediately.
4. To a great extent people are only victims if they allow themselves to be. She is a predator. You must not allow her to suck you into the drama. Make an resolution to not be in any situation where you are alone with her. If she starts that bullshit up in public WALK AWAY.
5. Start documenting any and all contact with her. You know this is not right and the only way it will stop is if you do something different. If you are unable to take any of the above steps GET COUNSELING. If you don’t want to do anything about it then you are enabling. Either way GET COUNSELING.
6. GET COUNSELING!!
I am 30, have been for a few months now. I wasnt supposed to make it past 16. I hung on, no matter what, easier said than done of course. Any lies and rumors and shit she brakes is not worth staying, change and fear go hand in hand, but you will feel better once you stick with that change and get her out of your life, will it be easy? No. But it will be easier than taking your own life. Don’t end your life over a person who doesn’t care about you, keep going because you do have people in your life. Message me if you need to.
Take a page out of Johnny Depps book and some life advice from me. Record everything and GTFO. Also, definitely consider a restraining order. Fun story from my life.
I was facing a domestic violence charge. The truth was she’d discharged a firearm in the house (we had pictures and she slipped up in testimony) and literally took the time to make a scrap book about leaving me for my brother that she didn’t know we’d found. Needless to say I won the case.
Additional reason to follow this advice. While I was in a courtroom facing this, another guy showed up in front of the judge. It hasn’t reached the point where it was mandatory to turn over evidence. The defense attorney played a home shot video of the girl screaming at him, hitting herself with pans and making fake bruises. The prosecution turned white. The judge threw out the case, ordered an immediate release for the guy then issued a warrant for the girl.
People can be insane. Credentials: ex military of over a decade, got out and started studying criminal law because of my experience. I additionally live in one of the most liberal, anti gun, anti man cities in America.
Run. Anyone can be a victim of domestic abuse. You don’t want to be the victim that winds up a bigger victim.
Edit: In the case that was not mine, she was screaming while hitting herself that she was going to have him locked up.
Who do you live with? You have a job and she doesn’t, so you definitely have more leverage in this situation. It sounds like you are close with your family, whatever it is keeping you from telling them what’s going on, forget about it. Your safety and health is more important than that. If she lives with you tell her to leave and change the locks if possible.
This makes me sad. You deserve happiness!
Is there no option for you to move somewhere else further away from everything? It solved my family problems etc. Please leave, it will hurt in the beginning (sometimes a lot) I left a toxic relationship after 5+ years. I was crying for weeks but I’m in a better place now. 3 years later I found someone that loves me and won’t hurt me with words or physically.
You can do it :)!
Dude
Let her lie, let her ruin your name. The truth will eventually come out anyway
Work hard, pay your bills, move out of town.
That’s got to be better than killing yourself. The best solution here is definitely going to be a life lived well, without her.
By the way, when I was about your age I had a psycho Gf. She broke up with me, actually was sleeping with another guy in my friends group and then she started making up these lies about me, pointlessly because we broke up, she had a new BF and I was fine with it. Anyway a bunch of my friends believed her lies and her new Bf and the boyfriend after that who was a friends brother. He actually rang men up to abuse me for all sorts of shot that never happened. I did try to warn him she was a liar but he was hooked on her bull. I just stopped talking to anyone who believed her bullshit. Years later that friends brother tried to apologise because she ended up doing the same thing to him. I just said yeah whatever.
My good name was trashed for sure but there were one or two friends who bothered to ask me if it was true. Not everyone will believe her crap.