Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 10 months when. This has been a reoccurring problem, our sex life is absolutely terrible. And his point addiction is out of hand.. I’ve never had this issue with anyone before this man literally would rather beat his dick too cartoons I’ve even found some particularly odd things and I’ve told him how I feel about it and that he’s going to end up losing me because it’s I’m tired of bringing it up I’m tired of it letting it ruin my confidence because I’m absolutely beautiful I’m 23 blonde blue eyes thin 115 lb it’s not me. And I know it’s not we literally have sex maybe once or twice a month if that and he’s just not interested in me that way everything else is great but it’s totally ruining my confidence. And I don’t see the point in trying so hard to make it work if he’s not willing to work on this issue knowing it bothers me. And I’ve even told him if we need to spice things up in the bedroom I’m all game for it but no he would rather just sit here and lust over all these women like all these Instagram girls pictures help advice would be so much appreciated
porn is absolutely destroying my relationship and confidence
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You looking for permission? It’s ok to leave for any reason. Porn addiction will fuck a dude up. All you can do is voice your concerns and dealbreakers, then move on.
Can you break up? Just pull the plug already. It sounds like you are stressed and miserable about it. I say upgrade that guy with some one better for you.
It’s not you or a relationship problem, it’s his problem.
Flat out, he needs to stop watching porn and most likely see some sort of therapist for porn addiction. If he doesn’t want help, then you either stay in a relationship as it is or you can leave him.
Don’t let your self esteem be brought down because he has an iron grip and unachievable expectations when it comes to sex.
A person’s brain is going to continue to follow the activity that gives it the dopamine hit that it wants. Whether that’s drugs, or porn, or food. I think that your partner should quit porn if it is causing a detriment to your relationship with you because it’s affecting his desire for you. While watching porn isn’t inherently wrong, it seems that his preference for porn over you isn’t healthy. If he was watching porn and also not ignoring you sexually, I don’t think it would be an issue. If he would rather watch porn than engage in sex with you, there might be some larger issues at hand thar impact that desire. I hope that you’re able to find a good resolution to this or it might be better to find a partner that has more healthy behaviors.
Hun, you’re 23. Don’t throw away your young life on a complete loser and then realize it’s too late once you’ve wasted 10, 15, 20 years on him.
Go check out the sub /r/loveafterporn and read the many women who have been years and years with their PAs (porn addicts). It’s a life not worth living. It’s a life of constant betrayal, insecurity, and lack of trust.
Get out now while you can and find someone who respects you.
Leave. Why do y’all keep staying with people like that? It’s only been 10 months, not 10 years. And even 10 years is a totally legit reason to leave…
He would have no issues ditching you in a second if he does’t like something about you.
Bro, it’s his problem not yours just end it man. If he is not willing to work it out then there is no use.
Deliver the ultimatum: Either he gets help for his porn addiction, or you’re dumping him.
There is nothing that YOU can do, this is your bf problem and he doesn’t seem willing to do anything about it.
Leave him now before he destroys your self esteem
Advice from a porn addict:
He has to want to stop watching it.
You’re allowed to set a boundary. “I will not be in a relationship that is sexually unfulfilling because of porn.”
He can either choose to work on his addiction, or not. That’s on him. And if he doesn’t stop/get help, you have to leave. You have to follow through.
My porn addiction ruined my sex life with my husband. We still had sex regularly (twice a week), but less than we normally would (4-5 times a week.) It was also nearly impossible for me to get off from sex, and this affected my husband’s confidence. I assured him it wasn’t him (because it wasn’t, it was my brain) but it still affected him.
One day I decided enough was enough. I quit cold turkey, haven’t watched it since. (A little over a year now.) My brain has healed, almost back to normal, and our sex life is better, more frequent, and more satisfying than it ever has been.
Like every addiction, it changes the chemistry of your brain. You need more and more to give you the same effect as those early dopamine rushes. You look for harder, worse, dirtier things. More and more extreme. And then (for me) I couldn’t get off from regular sex anymore. I needed fantasy and danger.
I don’t know what his genre is, but if he’s watching “cartoons” I’m assuming it’s hentai. And you can find the most taboo, most societally unacceptable stuff in animated form. (Technically you can find anything you want in live porn, it is the internet after all, but it’s harder, and there’s shame attached to it. But animated porn isn’t regulated the way live porn is, and your brain says “this isn’t a real person, so it’s not as bad.” But it is. It affects your brain the same exact way.)
I wish you luck, and I hope he works on his addiction to better himself and your relationship!
Lmao @ the ‘I’m absolutely beautiful I’m 23 blonde blue eyes’
Just break up.
Highly recommend /r/loveafterporn
This is a bait, right?
You’ve only been with him for 10 months. Cut your losses and be grateful you discovered this early. Also, if he’s jerking off to cartoons why would that fuck with your confidence considering he doesn’t get off on real women. Regardless, it sounds like you will have an easy time finding someone who does.
Yet you’re commenting on BDSM chats and porn on reddit. This is either fake or you’re scum. Get over yourself
This is hard. Its not as easy as “he just needs to stop watching porn”, it can be a very real addiction. He really needs to see a therapist to work through this, and he needs to WANT to get better.
For your side, I feel for you. Being on the other side of an addiction like this is not fair at all to you. It’s up to you how you proceed, you can encourage him to seek out therapy or you can move on and find someone better for you.
You have been given your signs. One thing in life, when you get your signs pay the fuck attention to them. “Time to Go” sign has been blinking for a minute. You’re pretty and sound loyal, you won’t miss out by leaving as much as if you stay.
You’re 23 you shouldn’t be stressing over stuff like this just leave & find someone who will treat you right.
I really think you should cut your losses and just walk away from this jerk. You’re young and you not only sound like a beautiful young lady but you also seem intelligent and very intuitive. There are literally thousands of men your age who would love to date you and treat you well just like you deserve.
I’m old enough to be your mother and porn wasn’t quite as ubiquitous as it is now but I think women today settle too much for these porn addicted losers. Why should you be expected to tolerate his daily porn habit and accept whatever crumbs of affection and respect he tosses your way? That is bullshit.
Leave him to jerk his tiny peen all day to porn stars and go out, live your best life with a man who desires YOU and ONLY YOU and, kiss this jerk goodbye. Women are always told that they’re “controlling” or “insecure” in situations like this and that is just more bullshit and gaslighting. Even if a woman is insecure that is not some horrible character flaw. We all have insecurities and if he were a good guy he would want to help you overcome those things instead of only thinking with his dick.
you commented on a porn gif yourself yesterday, lmao
“I’m absolutely beautiful”
Therapy or breakup. He can choose.
Yeah, it’s time to move on.
He’s fapping to instagram? He definitely has a problem then.
This isn’t a you problem. This is a him problem. HE has an addiction and HE doesn’t want to address it then there is nothing you can do about it. This is true of any addiction, drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, sex or whatever else.
Either you leave or make room for his addiction in your relationship and give him a chance to address it. Sounds like you’ve already been trying option two though.
For self-profesed attractive, 23 year-old to be putting up with this in a relationship that is only 10 months old though, I mean, why? What’s the point of wasting your time and energy?
Why not try asking him about his fetishes and seeing if you are willing to work with him? If he’s into animated porn than then maybe he will be into cosplay which is something that would likely get his attention if you figure out who his favorite character is.
Relationships are about compromise. If you are serious about being with him, than it’s not fair to just demand he stop doing things he did before you met. Especially if you yourself are not willing to change anything up. As a good partner you should ask him about it and see what sort of things actually turn him on. Not just what you think ‘should’ turn him on.
If you are not willing to try and work with his habit and figure out how to switch his attention to you, than break up and wait till you are a bit more mature to try a relationship with someone.
It’s been less than a year. What is the pro of staying with this man when he doesn’t make you feel valued, attractive, wanted, desired, doesn’t line up with you sexually, and has a porn addiction?
He is addicted and doesn’t care it’s hurting you. Call it a loss and move on
You cannot control someone else’s behavior. However, you can control your own behavior. Maybe it’s time to #DTMFA!
Its a fairly new relationship cut your loss not worth the patience.
Just get out asap. There will be plenty of men that will want to give you a good workout on the regular, if someone watches porn despite the issues it is causing they simply don’t love you.
If this is what it’s like ten months in, imagine how bad it will get down the track. I’d honestly just break up and move on. This isn’t just a issue of your sex life, but of your intimacy with your partner. Breaking up would be good not only for you to move on and find a more healthy relationship, but a chance for him to deal with some consequences of his actions.
Say you want to watch it together and you will do the the wanking for him.
Literally take hold of the situation. Be direct. I did not know I had a porn addiction. My partner did this and it worked on me.
Woow such a shame for a dumb guy to realize how good he has it and how you have stuck by him. And you are gorgeous too boot definately above his pay grade. Man you are a wonderful partner for someone sorry it is not him. Almost a year tied into this it’s time for the scissors to cut the cord loose.
“It’s not me, I’m hot”
It’s probably you.
Damn near everyone watches porn. Some more than others. And while he very much might have an issue, he could also just not be interested in you anymore but doesn’t know how to say it. There is definitely more to this one sided story than just “my bf is addicted to porn”