Sunday, March 26, 2023
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She should be mad at me, but I think this is too much

Hello, we are 27m and 28f, been together for about 5 years. I think she has borderline tendencies, first years were extremely rough and now it’s better, she it taking medications etc, but lately it’s been extremely downhill.

Situation – we were moving to other flat. 9 days until moving out I said I had to work unfortunately on sunday, we could start packing on saturday, she didn’t confirm, was up until 6am on friday drinking and had a hangover on saturday. I was okay with that. Then she started packing on her own on sunday, and later that day got extremely mad at me, that I wasn’t around helping, yet I said earlier I had a unfortunate date on deadline and needed to work on sunday. She yelled at me and said my priorities were way off. I started helping on Monday, then on Wednesday in the morning I had the deadline I was free for 4 days until moving out. I was packing stuff and and moved every box to the new flat and cleaned the flat while she was working. I’m the bad guy in this situation, because I wouldn’t move finger until she yells at me. Therefore she was informed on my schedule and nothing changed.

Latest development – we didn’t have yet a copy of keys to the new flat, I was having an allergic reactions there too so my mood was bad (need to change all the carpets and mattresses). She said she will go out and I will let her in at night, because we have 1 set of keys. She messaged me that her phone was dying at 8pm and she doesn’t know If I will hear the door bell. I didn’t see messages right away, replied at 12am or something (was still Ill and wanted some time for myself and didn’t have much energy to communicate). She went out until 5:30AM, I was up until 4 AM, and then I was scared I wouldn’t hear the bell, so I kept the door not locked. At 5:30AM she stormes in and calls me idiot and other names, says she doesn’t want to be with and can’t trust me anymore, we agreed on me letting her in to the flat and I just left the doors not locked while her work PC was at home. Apparently she messaged me at 2am or something, that her phone is up, but I didn’t expect any messages and didn’t check the phone. She yelled at me more and more, insulting and saying I did nothing in this moving out thing, which is absolutely bonkers. I came up with ideas how to change new flat, she discarted that and said she found everything on internet and I didn’t do shit. She did a lot of unpacking in the new flat, while I was ill from allergic reactions I was having there. I could do the work on the weekend when I’m better, but she just did everything and yelled at me later.

At 6am after being yelled at I just drew into my office to get some sleep.

Also she said when I was low with allergies – go to a fucking hospital and be there, you bring the bad vibe here.

Do I deserve this? I don’t know what is wrong and right.

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  1. No respect = no love.

    She sounds a real catch.
    How much personal responsibility is she really taking?
    Are her “mental” issues being used as an excuse to behave like a brat?
    She’s abusing alcohol while on medication? (You should check what she’s taking, and what the advice on alcohol is).

    But sounds like she is spoiling for a fight most of the time.

    She’s not happy and you’re the cause?

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