Saturday, April 1, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceSomeone please translate this, how do I respond, I don't understand

Someone please translate this, how do I respond, I don’t understand

I was talking to this girl, I felt really good about it until yesterday, she just became cold. So I asked her, like why are you cold, she said I’m just like that (which she is), so I asked her are you even interested and she wrote this to me, I don’t understand, should I move on?

“I’m so afraid of hurting you. I do not know what to do. You have such a beautiful soul, the nicest person I’ve ever met. I do not know. I don’t want to hurt you in any way. They usually say right person but wrong time. I just don’t know, end of point.

I feel like shit. Look, it feels like you have so much to give and I have nothing, I don’t want to hurt you. You notice for yourself that I am so bad at showing emotions and so cold and I will hurt you because of that. I’m so bad at this. If you think I’m writing to someone else, you’re wrong. Yesterday, when I was talking to my cousin, I started to think extra. I don’t know, I’m seriously going to cry soon. I only want your best. If you let me, I’ll always be there for you, I promise. I’m just not stable. I don’t know how to explain myself. It hurts me so much to see you not doing well believe me now. I only want your best.”

Help please, what does she mean

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  1. She’s either in a bad place, or she’s trying to let you down gently that she isn’t interested in an extended version of it’s not you, it’s me.

    Either scenario is the same outcome…it’s not gunna happen.

  2. hmm maybe she is not emotionally stable and is going through some bad times.

    it seems she likes you, but as she said maybe its not the right time for that. because of some problems she got, she is scared to hurt you. and she does not want to hurt you

    I think you can only accept that and move on

    maybe she might be able to open up and explain why she thinks that way or what is maybe bothering her

  3. To me, it sounds like she has deep psychological or emotional issues that will require years of therapy before she could contemplate being an equal in a relationship. She is well aware of these and so although she likes you, she wants you to know she’s is nowhere near being a functional adult and an equal partner for a healthy relationship.

    Appreciate her honesty, move on. She is right. Any connection with her may tiring at best, toxic at worst.

  4. She’s telling you who she is. Hurt people hurt people. She’s going to play this withdrawing Go Away A Little Closer game forever. She’s not in a place to show up for the relationship.

  5. “Im bad at showing emotions and so cold and I will hurt you”, that sentence alone says she’s going to hurt you as she stated (whether it’s intentionally or not).

  6. This was me in my deepest depression. She wants to be with you but the fear of hurting you and in turn hurting herself with the guilt of hurting you is tearing her up inside. She CANNOT have a successful relationship like this. She needs to get help. Women like this become quickly dependant on their significant other for every inch of their happiness, they won’t blame you if they don’t feel happy though, they will blame themselves saying they aren’t doing a good enough job and then obsess over being perfect for you all the while convincing themselves they are not and will not ever be good enough.

  7. Based on your other comments I’d have to say it seems she wants you in her life but not like that. I think she thinks you’re nice and feels bad that she doesn’t feel the same way and in turn she thinks this makes her a bad person. You can choose to stay her friend if you want to but don’t become her friend in hope of something more bc that barely ever happens, there are exceptions but most time we aren’t the exception we are the rule.

    Based on her text it sounds like y’all are in highschool or at least early adult and if not don’t try to date someone who sound like a young adult at a not young adult type age. If you are young my advice is I wouldn’t stress too much over this one girl and if this seems like a situation where y’all could be friends without trying to be more than I’d take it bc at least you got a friend out of the experience.

  8. As someone who just left an avoidant – she means this. If she just wanted to ghost, she would. If she just wanted to try, she would. She recognises her own limitations and if you persuade her to give it a go, she’ll sabotage it because she just isn’t ready for this emotionally.

    Save yourself the hurt, thank her for her honesty and decide if you can just be friends or if you need some space.

  9. You got it correct, thou whenever someone says right person wrong time its usually the other way around – wrong person, right time 😉

    There are endless possibilities as to why she wrote it, lets not get too technical. The girl pretty much told you its not going to work. You can either accept it or ask her why and then accept, but you might get a little more hurt by the answer.

    I’ve had a similar situation in one of my first heartbreaks of sort. She told me i’m a great guy very kind very sweet but she just didn’t feel the magic. Turned out while i was bad at dating (still am in ways), other guy snooped in and won her heart. Since i’m not a generally aggressive or unforgiving person we kept very minimal touch like happy birthdays and such. I know she is now marrying that other guy.

    She just doesn’t like you, harsh truth. Is it another man is it some of your qualities, it really doesn’t matter. If she cared enough she would have told you the truth.

  10. She likes you and really wants to be with you but she knows she’ll hurt you, because she knows she isn’t in the right mindset to date atm and will hurt you. Even if you think you can handle it, you won’t be able to.

  11. It means that she is full of drama and baggage which may be of her own doing or due to circumstances outside her control but will nonetheless suck you in and fuck you up. Pass on this one, OP.

    There are a million girls as her with the added bonus that they will not drag you down into drama.

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