Thursday, March 16, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceTrying to stay alive for my wife (26F).

Trying to stay alive for my wife (26F).

I’m currently dying of a health issue but am doing everything in my power to stay alive, primarily for my wife. Her family abandoned her when she left Islam and my extended family aren’t the warmest of people. As a result, I have become her only family as well as her best friend. Sure she has some other friends, but she has a hard time trusting people given all that she’s been through. So given these circumstances, I want to be there for her, unfortunately my body has other plans.

The tremendous financial and emotional burden my condition has brought into our lives places a heavy toll on her, as she’s the only one who is well enough to work these days. Sometimes I think maybe she’d be better off without me, but she gets very angry when I utter anything in that direction. She says she really doesn’t want to lose me. As for me, well, I don’t want to die, but at the same time, I don’t want to weigh her down either. If I die leaving her with a mountain of debt, than that would be my legacy, and I don’t want that.

I realize this is a heavy topic, sorry for that.


**EDIT,** This group forbids health related topics. Since people have asked, yes I do have a GFM Fund raiser but I can’t discuss that here. If you care and would like to know more about our situation, I have provided a 4 minute video on my reddit profile which explains everything.

View Reddit by ChCybUghView Source



  1. I’m dying from intestinal disease at 30.

    It is depression taking over your mindset, as you go through stages of acceptance of the severity of your condition.
    The guilt is the worst.
    But don’t actually listen to it.

  2. I was dying from Ulcerative colitis when I was 19. They gave me a week to live, then a couple days, then said I needed to write good bye letters to my family. The Dr’s told me bye that they may never see me again after that night. 4 major surgeries and 1 child later I’m 36 and doing alright given loosing 5 organs, work 50 hours a week, take care of my 10 year old and my future wife’s little girl as well.

    Don’t give up the fight. The doctors can be wrong about your time line. Stay strong for her, she sounds like she’s staying strong for you. You both need each other as long as possible. Hang in there brother. PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.

  3. I’d consult an advocate or social worker. I have seen spouses who love each other very much legally divorce so the Ill partner is eligible to receive more insurance coverage and govt benefits. There is also debt forgiveness that doesn’t saddle the partner with the medical debt. You can remain in love and together, but change the legal contract

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