Long story short I posted [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/yallwm/a_guy_im_seeing_insists_suddenly_on_coming_to_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
yesterday, asking for opinions on this guy.
Today, OUT OF BLUE, after we talked that its not gonna work, I get a call, 8 am in the morning. I pick it up, here he goes:
” My tenancy is ending and I cannot be asked to look for another place, Im going back to my parents ( who live like 8 hours train away)( he also has a full time job here .) Anyways I dont think we would have worked out because I require the attention you would never gonna give me. I require a lot because I am an amazing guy and your just not good enough for me “.
Like WTF? He turned the whole situation to be my fault and him to be the victim. Thats how a narcissist show his true colours….
Me mentioned all sort of things to make it all about himself…Im studying medicine and yes i am busy but Ive been seeing him every 5/7 days with phone calls and texts in between!!!
We “had” planned to do stuff later this week for his “birthday”.
He expected me to give him and do all the stuff I would offer my “BOYFRIEND” and not a guy im just dating.
I even told him how bad it would be if I actually gave him my heart and attention and he is leaving anyways. He goes” no if I thought we would gonna work out I would have stayed” LoooooooL
Anyways I thought I put this up to give an update about how well it worked out at the end…I dodged a bullet!!!! Imagine being with him for long term …
Please trust your instincts when something looks sus after even one date….
Stay safe and Love you all!!!!
Edit 1: He reached out with different number saying he really wanna meet before he leaves so we are not on bad terms. I am scared of my life now….
I have blocked that number too. Now im seeking advice.
I’d have said “ok, cool.” And hung up and went back to sleep.
Sounds like he was also a possible hobosexual. He could have moved himself into your place without asking. It’s interesting that this came up exactly when his lease expired, and he was looking to mooch off of someone anyway.
Yup – he has left you, because their ego cannot handle that they have been dumped.
You are not good enough for me….. So very typical of a reaction.
Do not ever for even a minute think this is a statement with any truth in it.
Bullet Dodger (sp) Award goes to you.
Stay healthy and safe.
Sounds like he might also have been doing to fill court press to move in with you. 8 hours sounds like a pretty safe distance away from him, I hope you wished him safe travels.
Ditching friends to hang with you wasn’t a good sign, that’s someone who couldn’t keep a promise and was acting obsessively.
I’m glad to hear that at least you are safe.
This so belongs in r/niceguys!
Also, it,’s kind of obvious he didnt have a place to stay, and he planned to lovebomb you into letting him move in. He got pissed that you didnt respond to his love-bombing scheme. Defo dodged a bullet of a narcissitic manipulative mooch.
He already proved himself as an emotionally immature person the very moment he didn’t respect and understand the fact you wanted to wait for sex (per your last deleted thread). So it’s no loss for you, it’s a loss for him. Now you’re free to meet someone who respects your boundaries and respects you, or just focus on yourself and your studies.
He didn’t have a full time job babe!
That’s how to trust your instincts and follow your values gal! This Nice Guy routine is called Love Bombing, and you caught on early, stood by your own values which meant he didn’t get what he wanted. It’s disingenuous, not the real them. And females do this too! It’s crazy.
In your other post you mentioned he likes punching his partners in bed and into knifeplay. Then backtracked into slapping upon seeing your horrified reaction. People were telling you to run and you still decided to spend his birthday with him. And then he kept pushing for sex even though you didn’t want it.
Be glad that the universe is actively trying to save you from him cause you were still ignoring his huge red flags.
Don’t keep the same routine. Hang out with friends at their place or meet up with them at random places. Continue to block him on everything and don’t pick up calls from strange numbers let it go to a non-personalized VM.
I’m glad you’re out but scared for you that it took HIM breaking up with YOU to end it.
You say the right words. But your actions don’t match them. When what he’s into sexually made you feel unsafe you should have left. When he stomped all over your boundary to not have sex yet you should have left. When he TOLD you what he was doing for the bday plans even tho you were uncomfortable you should have left.
You typed the real, English words of various versions of “I am seeing red flags and feel unsafe” and then in the next breath that he was a great guy and you got good vibes from him. Even now you’re giving advice to trust your insticts. Um……
Now you’re afraid for your safety, with good reason. I’m not saying it wouldn’t have been the same if you’d broken it off at any of those points, it may have. But the over reaching point is *anytime you feel unsafe or like you have to constantly justify the same boundary, YOU LEAVE*.
Sit with that and have a real good think before you get into another relationship. Maybe get some therapy too. I’m guessing you have abuse somewhere in your past or are an extreme people pleaser.
Yes, you did dodge a bullet. Do NOT meet this person. I hope you didn’t give him personal information about yourself.
Well, that sure saved you a lot of time and trouble!
He just wants to move in, use you, cheat on you and ruin your life.
I don’t think you have to be concerned for your life. Block him and move on. It’s all good. Relationships will be tough with your schedule but focus on what you need to do and hopefully you find a fine fellow who understands that.
I can’t tell whats more cringe, this guy or your post. Obviously it takes a narcissist to know one.
I hope you laughed when he said he deserved more. Like big belly laughs.
He doesn’t have the self esteem to be able to recognize faults in himself. Else he’s got some disorder making it hard for him to do so (no hate, I have disorders too). So you got the projection treatment.
About your update, are you actually afraid for your life or are you joking?
He was trying to move in with you.
Ew. Now you know why he’s single. You dodged a bullet.
I dont get what today’s kids are on. It’s like you are scared of labels.
If I’m dating someone it’s exclusive, so labeling the person I date my GF just saves time. It doesn’t rly change anything.
It sounds like your boyfriend dumped you and your throwing a fit now? What bad thing did he say? He just said he wasn’t satisfied with your relationship and was moving on, regardless of what label you put on the relationship, just cuz he did some mild ego protection you are scared?
How would you react if you met a real narcissist or a psychopath? This is ridiculous.
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