Friday, March 24, 2023
HomeRelationship AdviceWas this a Red Flag? How gf treated assistant in store.

Was this a Red Flag? How gf treated assistant in store.

I (26M) went to the store with my gf (23F). She tried on some shoes that the assistant bought from the back. After she was done with them and they didn’t fit she was about to walk out of the store without taking them back to the assistant. I put them in the box and took them to the store front and said thanks.

Afterwards we argued about that and I said something like “Yeah I understand that \*you\* dont think that it was wrong, but I think It’s really rude and disrespectful and felt embarassed”. She wouldn’t concede that I had a point and made out that it was a normal thing to do (i.e. leaving the shoes without saying anything).


I guess I just honestly don’t know what’s right in this situation. Am I blowing something I personally took issue with out of proportion because I have weird values and expectations, or is this a red flag about her? Or a secret third thing.


P.S. Yes this is me with the same person my post 5 months ago was about for anyone who does that stalker thing.

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  1. What she did was perfectly normal in a shoe store. You’re not expected to bring the shoes up to the counter.

    I was expecting this post to be about the GF saying rude things to the clerk or throwing the merchandise around or something.

    This is not a red flag.

  2. I don’t think it’s that unusual in a shoe store.. I’ve never left without saying they were no good, but I’ve never taken the pair boxed back to the assistant at a counter.. just left in a box where I’ve tried them..

    If I was with someone who said they were embarrassed by that, it would make me think again.. like your post has.. but honestly, where I am from, that’s pretty standard in a shoe store.

  3. This is super petty to have a whole argument over. What seems more concerning is you both aren’t able to talk this out and move on. Is this a pattern in your relationship? Maybe start there and work on your communication.

  4. Honestly I’d find this weird but if this is a one time kind of thing (usually it isn’t) I’d let it go. If she’s also someone who doesn’t tip servers, someone who leaves trash everywhere for janitors, and generally has the “it’s their job” mentality, it’s a justifiable ick and you two just may be incompatible in that sense.

    Edit: the end of your post made me curious so I actually went back and read your other post and….yikes. I can’t believe you’re still with this person. Genuinely wondering, do you just think you can’t do better than this? Why stay in such a seemingly exhausting relationship where you’re treated like a doormat and gaslit? Surely you understand that love is not enough

  5. I mean if my boyfriend did that I would be pretty unhappy. Not everyone has the same moral standards so I’d explain to him why it was disrespectful. If he doesn’t agree then ngl I’d start questioning the relationship because small things like these do matter

  6. For me, its a red flag, but I also stopped seeing a girl who refused to tip a waitress for no reason. Mind you this is the time she had offered to pay. She had plenty of money to do so but stayed that she didn’t do that.

    It’s basic kindnes. It’s like knocking something off the shelf and leaving it in the floor. If I see that, instantly I know there something wrong with you

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