Dated a guy for a couple months. He was very love-bomby at first, should have taken this to heart and gotten out of it. Long story short, I began setting boundaries and immediately was broken up with. Guy went from talking about marriage in the morning, to ending it with me at 4 pm. The boundaries I set were not massive either… told him I needed to spend some nights alone to get stuff done, like laundry and grocery shopping? Needless to say, the person blew up on me, stopped talking to me for 5 days, but it’s now trying to talk again.
What were your experiences with love-bombing and setting any sort of boundary/saying no?
I mean, my own personal experience was just like yours, except instead of breaking up with me he just got more and more manipulative and controlling until I had to break up with him. Sometimes these people eventually learn and figure out their issues, but not by their targets staying with them.
Love bombing is a part of the abuse cycle. Abusers don’t like you putting boundaries on them because boundaries limit their ability to abuse you.
Don’t go back to abusers.
He’s hoovering. Just say this isn’t working out and you don’t want to talk to him anymore nor hear from him again. Don’t reply if he tries to contact you after that.
I got stonewalled for 2 weeks. Then it ended and I was apparently the red flag who was desperate for contact. (I was trying for two weeks to get a phone call to have a mature discussion over what was happening).
People who do this will always find a way to make you out to be the bad person and they will always make themselves out to be the victim.
You set reasonable boundaries. He wanted to control and dominate your life. As soon as he realized he wouldn’t get what he wanted from you, he moved on to an easier victim.
Block him. He’s no good for you. You are not “difficult.” You just didn’t let him take over your entire existence.
He got nastier when I tried to set boundaries.
Love bombing = huge red flag.
That’s one of the fastest ways to get rid of a love-bomber. Set a boundary.
This person is NPD or BPD, and from what it sounds like, an untreated and not so good case of it.
I wish I had resources like this 10-15 years ago and learned to stand up for myself. I only recently learned terms like love-bombing, and realized how many times I allowed myself to be taken advantage of over the last 20 years. Luckily I recently found a mature partner who doesn’t do that bs to me and lets me be myself. Good for you for being able to set boundaries.
Had one, horrible. It’s only gud when he keeps at it. Tbh I don’t think he even understood how to treat a partner and I’m not blaming him. Both of us are new to relationships. He’d give me like thousands of robux(50 dollars atleast), a drawing tablet, bought me minecraft and so on (why these are a big deal is that both of us live in countries where USD is quite expensive) and alot of funky nights. It was a very painful breakup too and it still surfaces from time to time on how much i hate him. I think there is a way to set boundaries correctly for these ppl but clearly “No gifts for 2 months ok?” is not right unfortunately.
It doesn’t end and shows u how they handle conflict- they always bail and then retreat. It is a cycle u can only break by moving on if they don’t get serious help.
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