i always kinda wondered. i love my friends, i am beyond thankful to have them in my life. we have a big group, have known most of them since i was a kid. naturally we have had drama and i have unfortunately heard everyone talk about others but never knew what they said about me.
my friend was super drunk and just told me how much he loved me and that they don’t care what they say about me. i asked what they said and he said that they say i’m a bitch.
this really hurt my feelings, ive been losing sleep and i feel very uncomfortable now. but i kinda took a step back and realized someone is always going to have something to say about you.
i have never, so i thought, been mean to anyone or done anything behind someone’s back. i don’t like to talk shit, not involved in drama, never gotten with a boy they like, stuff like that. i am now going to always think of what i say before i speak. it’s just heartbreaking
i’ve also been through a lot of trauma. i am very shy, quiet and reserved. i have an issue trusting others and i think it effects building my relationships to their fullest extent. my issue of trust more so stems from knowing people don’t keep secrets, because i hear them talk.
>i am very shy, quiet and reserved. i have an issue trusting others and i think it effects building my relationships
This is likely where the ‘bitch’ characterization comes from. Often times, reserved and quiet can be mistaken for ‘removed’ or ‘snobby’ or ‘stuck up.’ The fact that you’ve known them for years and still don’t trust them might lead them to wonder if you think you are better than them.
I’m not saying any of that is true but that is often the perceptions of someone who is reserved and keeps to themselves.
I completely get it. I’m the same way. I’m really sorry this happened to you. In time, it will sting less and you will realize they have their flaws too. Just do your best everyday to be your best self and don’t worry too much about the gossip. Your sister needs to watch her mouth when drunk though. She’s gonna get herself in trouble with her friends.
I would just let it go. There’s worse things to be called and being quiet sometimes is interpreted as bitchy. It’s a burden we bear.
Why do you believe what a super drunk person told you? Why are you taking this as reality??
Well, I’m an insufferable know it all, but my friends keep me around. They are, respectively, a flake, a bitch (whiny), a bitch (bossy), a mooch, codependent, a catastrophizer…
Anyway, we’ve all got judgy opinions about our friends, but we like our friends.
Ok, so maybe the judgy opinions aren’t as common as that, but… I tend to like people more the more dimension they have. So I enjoy ‘unsavory’ qualities in my friends.
Dunno if that helped, at all
If you’re a bitch and your friends like bitches then I don’t see a problem :^)
Quit being a bitch then
Hey that’s just their interpretation. It is shitty and probably mostly incorrect. But they wouldn’t be hanging out with you if that was truly the first and foremost thing to say about you. If that’s truly what they think then you all need new friends. Sorry that happened. I’m the same way you are, I get it. It’s frustrating when the way people perceive you doesn’t align perfectly with your intentions.
If he was really drunk then they might not even have said that. Drunk peoples brains are being poisoned.
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